Sunday Sentiment...

I've had 2 people with fabulous jobs tell me this week that they lost them...this week.

I now understand how awful of a feeling that is. I'm at 3 months now. OVER 3 months if we're counting, but I find that too depressing. And while I have complete faith and trust in the One who holds my future, those "something better is up ahead" sentiments are sounding kind of hollow. So as I hugged my friend tight this morning after she gave me the news and said "I'll be praying so hard for you" and she echoed the same...I knew that it was genuine. I don't doubt for a moment that my friends love me and have been praying all this time...but at the same time, there's solidarity in knowing that you really AREN'T alone.

And at the same time, today was a wonderful day of hope as well. A reminded me of that as we were praying together. You see, once a year, our church does this day called Harvest Sunday. The week before we get a shopping list of items for a Thanksgiving meal. We buy the food (about $20 worth), fill a paper double-bag, and bring it forward. At the end of the three services we have hundreds of bags lining the stage. The middle school students (and us lucky middle school lifeguards) sort the bags on Sunday afternoon, and they go to families in the community from now until Thanksgiving

It's a wonderful thing. And even though I have very little money this year, I filled up my bag. A and I went shopping on Tuesday together. It was a sweet time. :0) And for me it was a promise that no matter how bad things get I'll still reach out. I'll still do what I can. And next year, if I am employed (and let's hope!) I will be filling up at least 2 bags in gratitude for what I've been given.

I found this prayer at http://www.catholicdoors.com/prayers/index.htm. I'm praying it as I copy it to my blog, and I hope you'll pray it for me, my friend M, and my friend G as you read.

Prayer for the Unemployed

Dear Lord Jesus Christ,
You wanted all who are weary
To come to You for support.
Lord, I am worn out
By my inability to find work.

Guide my steps to a righteous path;
Give me the patience
To find opportunities with a future.
Calm my worries and fears
As my financial responsibilities mount.
Strengthen my resolve;
Embolden my heart to open doors;
Open my eyes to see life beyond rejections.
Help me believe in me.

Let me realize other ways
To bring about Your kingdom on earth.
Let me grow as a person
That I may be worthy
For Your greater glory.

In the name of the Father.
Amen.

Thursday's Ten

Ten Things I'm Happy About Lately

1. Gas Prices. I passed a station today near my house--1.97!!
2. Obama's election. I don't think he's the answer to all the problems, but I am happy for change
3. Putting babies down for a nap. There really isn't much sweeter in this world.
4. Opportunities lately to sit down and play the piano. I'd forgotten how wonderful it is--like free therapy! :0)
5. My wonderful boyfriend
6. The return of most of my favorite tv shows...
7. Pumpkin Spice Lattes
8. My amazing church family
9. Becoming more "green"...it really does make me feel good
10. Prospects of a brighter tomorrow

Recipe of the Week -- Greek Meatloaf

I made this tonight for A and I with mashed potatoes and green beans (which I put Greek seasoning in, to fit with the theme). We both loved it--just enough like a regular meatloaf to be familiar, just different enough to be fabulous.

Greek Meatloaf

1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1/2 cup bread crumbs mixed with 1/2 cup milk
4 oz basil-tomato feta cheese, crumbled
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 large onion, chopped (I actually had a really large onion so I only used 1/2)
1 cup shredded carrot
1 tsp Greek seasoning (I put about 3 times that in)
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper (I definitely guesstimated on both s&p)

1. Heat oven to 375. Spray a 13x9 inch pan w/nonstick spray (I actually have a meatloaf pan, so that's what I used. Or jelly roll pan, whatever you call it)

2. In a large bowl mix all ingrediants. Form into loaf and place in prepared pan.

3. Bake @ 375 for 1 hour

4. Allow to rest, covered, 10 minutes before slicing

(pictured with mashed potatoes)

Election Night Reflections...

I've learned a lot over the last few weeks and months, not necessarily about politics or candidates, but about human nature and how incredibly divided we can really be.

It began (for me at least) with emails about my candidate that accused him of being everything from a terrorist and non-Christian, to being TOO much of a Christian. It didn't stop there; there were plenty of articles posted and emailed that told me I couldn't be hearing God's voice clearly if I voted for him because of his views on partial-birth abortion and same-sex unions (which incidentally are two issues that both candidates happened to have nearly identical views on...). There were more articles, more posts, attacking my candidates character. And of course, this went both ways. My candidate was not innocent and neither were his supporters. I honestly can't remember a time when I've seen more hateful things said among my group of friends, both online and in "real life". I started to realize that our country has truly become very divided.

Through all of this I struggled to keep my head above the murky waters everyone seemed to be sinking into, though I wasn't always successful. I maintained my staunch position that there must be a true separation of church and state, and I pointed out that the outcome of this election will not affect our eternal future. Still the comments came, and I responded by saying that we're not electing a savior, just a president. Yes, I defended my candidate and my party, but I also tried very hard to research my points and back up my opinion with sound reasoning and not emotion.

It can be a disconcerting to be both a Christian and a Democrat (or just liberal in general). I'm called upon to defend my position quite often and I often feel that I'm speaking to a crowd that will (a) never listen and (b) never believe me. So this blog is not about trying to convince you that my faith DOES determine how I vote (although it does, very much so) or why I feel that my faith has led me to these decisions. If you want to hear me make those points I'll be happy to--just ask.

Tonight I watched history being made. I was thrilled, and I was brought to tears. Not because I think Barack Obama is the savior of this country, or a messiah. Because now I can with integrity say to all of my inner city students "see what you can do?" Because my parents who lived through the Civil Rights movement have seen a black man elected to the highest office in the land. And because I truly believe that now that this election is over maybe we can begin healing.

I've been saddened as I watched nasty and hurtful things being said on both sides. I've feared that relationships won't be able to be repaired. But I was grateful to both John McCain (who gave a classy and beautiful speech tonight) and Barack Obama tonight. Both of them stressed the importance of working together and healing the divide that this nation has developed. And I truly hope that all who heard those words spoken by both of these good men who love our country will take them to heart.

We need healing now. We need to look beyond red states and blue states and see the faces behind those divisive colors. Let's call everyone purple and work together. That's what it's going to take--that's what it would have taken with either candidate's win tonight. And I'm prayerful--truly so--that we'll be able to do this.

God Bless America, and God Bless you all :0)

I freakin' love football!

Yes, you're on the right blog. Geez, guys.

I've been growing in my infatuation for the game for a few years now. At first I would only watch the Superbowl for the commercials. Then I started paying attention to the games. Then my small group would gather and a football game would be on in the background. Eventually I wouldn't walk out of the room during those games. And last year I found myself shouting at the TV on the Channell's living room floor on more than one occasion.

So this year I've faithfully watched the Titans (who are the ONLY undefeated team in the NFL at the moment with an 8-0 record) and the Colts (can't help it, I'm a Hoosier) when their games are broadcast down here. And since A is a huge football fan I've found myself tuning into more games than just those. Even a few college games here and there! I even (gasp!) own a Titans jersey now.

And tonight I got a strange text from A stating that he was going to watch the Redskins game to see who would win the election. Of course this prompted a confused reply from me which warrented him calling me to let me in on the fact that the last home game of the Redskins during an election year where the current President is not in the race has been an indicator of the winner of the election.

Apparently of the last 6 elections that the incumbant CAN'T win (like this year) if the Redskins win the incumbant party (in this case the Reps) win the election. If the Redskins lose, the incumbant party also loses.So basically according to the tradition if the Steelers win tonight, Obama is in. If the Redskins pull out a victory so will McCain.

So...guess who won?

:0)

I'm hoping this holds true for a 7th time. But I keep reminding myself that we are not electing the savior of the US. And that the outcome of this election does not determine our eternal future. So many people are freaked out about the outcome one way or another (and I will readily admit that I'm nervous about the opposite outcome)...but in the grand scheme of things I've got to remember that it's not quite as important as we're making it out to be :0)

Back to football: wouldn't it be awesome if the Titans made the Superbowl again? What a fun 10 years in Nashville anniversary present for me :0)

Saturday's Song (or Sunday's)

I first heard this song on a commercial for...something. When I looked up the lyrics I realized how incredibly descriptive of life it really is. Life is a maze; love is a riddle. Yeah. Kind of! :0)

Lenka: The Show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

Just enjoy the show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

Thursday's Ten (on Friday)

10 Ghosts Who Live in Nashville...according to the Nashville Ghost Tours

Ok, so we went on the coolest Ghost Tour last night. We're planning to do Franklin in the next couple of weeks...but for now, here's Nashville's most famous ones...with a few pics sprinkled in.




1. Hermitage Hotel - baby in room 910 (which no longer exists, it's now in the $3000/night Presidential Suite). People often call the front desk complaining about the continual crying of a baby from a room close to them.


2. Hermitage Hotel - Lady in White (woman murdered by her husband around 1911)

3. Hermitage Hotel - Southern Belle (woman who by her period clothing apparently resided in a house that existed before the Hermitage. Because of a little skirmish we like to call the Civil War, they have no records of who she could be, but she's appeared in a few photographs and has been seen mostly on the bottom 2 floors of the hotel)

our guide Darcy and the Orb that follows her around the Capitol...

4. Capitol - William Stillwell, the original architect of the Capitol, and Samuel Morgan, the overseer of the project. They couldn't STAND each other, and both are buried in the building itself. The Capitol is where rookie cops are stationed. There are several police reports of hearing arguing coming from inside the building, only to discover that no one is there and there is no evidence of a breakin. Most people agree that Stillwell and Morgan are still arguing, much as they did when they were alive. There are also police reports documenting officers being locked into/out of a room by an unseen force and having to call for backup.

5. Capitol - James K Polk is the only President who is buried on the grounds, along with his wife Sarah. People report seeing orbs dancing around the tomb quite often. Our tour guide called it an orbgy. Haha. We didn't see any, or maybe just one, but it was fun to look for them.

another orb maybe?

6. St Mary's of the Seven Sorrows - the ghosts in the bell tower ring the bells at odd times. There's never any explanation for this, as the bells are no longer actually used...it's an electronic system that rings on the hour.

7. St Mary's of the Seven Sorrows - Bishop Richard Pius Miles. Several visitors and parishoners--and even priests--of St Mary's reported seeing an elderly gentleman, dressed in black and walking with a cane walking around the church. These reports went on for several years until a renovation of the church in 1969. During construction a tomb was found. In the outer coffin was a plaque that read Bishop Pius Miles, first Bishop of the Diocese of Nashville, died 1860. The ones who discovered the plaque assumed that during the Civil War, when the church served as one of several hospitals, the plaque was removed for fear of grave desecration. Over time people forgot the tomb existed. The inner coffin discovery was more surprising, however. Although it had been over 100 years since the Bishop's death, his body was perfectly preserved. This is one of the criteria for sainthood in the Catholic Church, so it is possible that he will at some point in the future become a saint. The more interesting point though is that he exactly matched the description of the man who had so often been spotted. After his re-interrment in the meditation room of the church he has never been spotted again. Guess he just needed to be noticed :0)




8. Ryman Auditorium - Hank Williams Sr. He often plays with the lights or sings after hours on the stage. Whispering Bill Anderson also reported that he felt Hank's spirit after playing one of his tunes during sound check--and everything around him lost power. He believed that Hank was putting his seal of approval on his career.

9. Ryman Auditorium - Captain Ryman himself. He's been known to heckle performances that he doesn't approve of. He originally built the Ryman as a house of worship, and when Carmen came to the Ryman several years after his death he heckled from the audience during each show. Since then he's made his disapproval known if a show comes in that he doesn't like.

10. Ryman Auditorium - the Man in Gray...believed to be perhaps a Confederate Soldier...is often seen in the balcony, but only during sound checks and rehearsals as well as other times the balcony is unoccupied.

A Little Calamity...

"If you've got one drink and one friend and 45 minutes. Slow rides make for boring stories. A little calamity...now that's worth talking about"(Grey's Anatomy)

I got my Grey's fix tonight and watched last night's episode. It ended with that quote, and I immediately grabbed a pen to write it down. Well, ok. I actually paused the tv, opened my facebook quote edit page, AND googled the quote. But you get the idea.

At any rate, those words resonated with me. I think it's safe to say that I've not had a slow ride lately, and that there's been some calamity involved. Now...whether it's worth talking about or not, I guess you all will decide.

Most of you probably know or have heard that I lost my job 2 months ago. I have no idea why--honestly. I was given a total BS reason, and I've been searching for a new career ever since. I miss C a lot, although not nearly as much as I first feared.

What HAS happened positively over the last 2 months? Well, I've learned a lot about me. In the interest of getting to bed at a semi-decent hour I'm just going to make a short list.

1. I obtained a lot of my self-worth from what I did for work.
I actually started realizing this early on when I started nannying--because I always had to qualify when people asked me about my job. I never thought it sounded 'good enough' to just reply with nanny. I always made it clear that I had taught for 5 years, etc.
So when I LOST the nanny gig...my self-confidence scraped the bottom.

2. Sometimes it's ok to ask for help. And it's ok to accept help even when you haven't asked for it.
I've had to really humble myself--with borrowing money from my parents, with talking to lenders about why they aren't being paid, with accepting a scholarship to go on women's retreat this year.
A wise friend told me today: "Sometimes it's better to receive. To let someone else have the gift and blessing of helping you"
I've always loved to help others. It's been a very hard thing for me to accept help. That's pride, pure and simple, and I'm (somewhat) happy to report that it's fading. Quickly.

3. I do have the capacity to face crisis with dignity.
Several friends have told me how much they admire the way I've "handled" this. Well, it's not all me. That's for sure. I have a fantastic support system, and I'm learning to trust God like I never have before.

4. There is joy in the midst of sorrow.
My relationship with A began right as all of this was transpiring. And it's been an amazing blessing to have such a wonderful man in my life. He reminds me constantly that he thinks I'm beautiful, that he appreciates the passion I have for life, and we have SUCH wonderful honesty and communication.
This is not the only joyful surprise that God had for me in all of this, but it is one I am reminded of daily.

5. There is opportunity to help those in need even when I feel I don't have the resources.
I've discovered this in a few ways--friends who have needed rides because they locked their keys in the trunk of the car...a neighbor and friend whose brother was dying who needed errands run and her dog kept while family poured in for the funeral...another who needed to crash on the couch for a night or two to get better sleep than she was getting in the stressful home environment she found herself in.
I don't have to have a lot of money in the bank or a whole lot of resources to do these things. I just have to listen to what those I love need. I think after this whole experience I'll find myself a more empathetic and caring person.

So, where do I go from here? Hell if I know. But what I DO know is that I have a future. I have a hope, and I trust in the Father who knows what lies ahead.

Blog from the Backyard

This is an excerpt from a journal entry I wrote after swing dancing this weekend. Enjoy :0)

In the corner near us and the band was a beautiful young girl, her flowing brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. Her partner was a tall and dashing man with thick wavy hair. They were so obviously in love--they never once seemed to notice the swirling dancers around them or the fact that I can't stop watching them. I took note of their simple matching rings. I envied them--their obvious deep love, their lives just beginning...and then I blinked. Sunddenly I saw his snow white hair, her gently wrinkled face. Instead of living on the brink of a life together they are closer to the end of their time. I can imagine that the days they have lived have brought many sorrows as well as joys, pain as well as promise. Yet, they are so full of love and hope that I simply cannot take my eyes away.

She smiles coyly as he spins her out and back, and they sway together in the way that only those that truly know their partners can, looking deeply into each other's eyes. This is their story, their beautiful legacy, and I find myself wanting to continue it.

I'll probably never know their names. But I hope one day, when I have hair streaked with gray and I am nearing the end of my journey, that someone will see me dancing with my soulmate and be as inspired by our story as I have been tonight.