Sunday, October 26, 2008

Saturday's Song (or Sunday's)

I first heard this song on a commercial for...something. When I looked up the lyrics I realized how incredibly descriptive of life it really is. Life is a maze; love is a riddle. Yeah. Kind of! :0)

Lenka: The Show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

Just enjoy the show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

Friday, October 24, 2008

Thursday's Ten (on Friday)

10 Ghosts Who Live in Nashville...according to the Nashville Ghost Tours

Ok, so we went on the coolest Ghost Tour last night. We're planning to do Franklin in the next couple of weeks...but for now, here's Nashville's most famous ones...with a few pics sprinkled in.

1. Hermitage Hotel - baby in room 910 (which no longer exists, it's now in the $3000/night Presidential Suite). People often call the front desk complaining about the continual crying of a baby from a room close to them.

2. Hermitage Hotel - Lady in White (woman murdered by her husband around 1911)

3. Hermitage Hotel - Southern Belle (woman who by her period clothing apparently resided in a house that existed before the Hermitage. Because of a little skirmish we like to call the Civil War, they have no records of who she could be, but she's appeared in a few photographs and has been seen mostly on the bottom 2 floors of the hotel)

our guide Darcy and the Orb that follows her around the Capitol...

4. Capitol - William Stillwell, the original architect of the Capitol, and Samuel Morgan, the overseer of the project. They couldn't STAND each other, and both are buried in the building itself. The Capitol is where rookie cops are stationed. There are several police reports of hearing arguing coming from inside the building, only to discover that no one is there and there is no evidence of a breakin. Most people agree that Stillwell and Morgan are still arguing, much as they did when they were alive. There are also police reports documenting officers being locked into/out of a room by an unseen force and having to call for backup.

5. Capitol - James K Polk is the only President who is buried on the grounds, along with his wife Sarah. People report seeing orbs dancing around the tomb quite often. Our tour guide called it an orbgy. Haha. We didn't see any, or maybe just one, but it was fun to look for them.

another orb maybe?

6. St Mary's of the Seven Sorrows - the ghosts in the bell tower ring the bells at odd times. There's never any explanation for this, as the bells are no longer actually's an electronic system that rings on the hour.

7. St Mary's of the Seven Sorrows - Bishop Richard Pius Miles. Several visitors and parishoners--and even priests--of St Mary's reported seeing an elderly gentleman, dressed in black and walking with a cane walking around the church. These reports went on for several years until a renovation of the church in 1969. During construction a tomb was found. In the outer coffin was a plaque that read Bishop Pius Miles, first Bishop of the Diocese of Nashville, died 1860. The ones who discovered the plaque assumed that during the Civil War, when the church served as one of several hospitals, the plaque was removed for fear of grave desecration. Over time people forgot the tomb existed. The inner coffin discovery was more surprising, however. Although it had been over 100 years since the Bishop's death, his body was perfectly preserved. This is one of the criteria for sainthood in the Catholic Church, so it is possible that he will at some point in the future become a saint. The more interesting point though is that he exactly matched the description of the man who had so often been spotted. After his re-interrment in the meditation room of the church he has never been spotted again. Guess he just needed to be noticed :0)

8. Ryman Auditorium - Hank Williams Sr. He often plays with the lights or sings after hours on the stage. Whispering Bill Anderson also reported that he felt Hank's spirit after playing one of his tunes during sound check--and everything around him lost power. He believed that Hank was putting his seal of approval on his career.

9. Ryman Auditorium - Captain Ryman himself. He's been known to heckle performances that he doesn't approve of. He originally built the Ryman as a house of worship, and when Carmen came to the Ryman several years after his death he heckled from the audience during each show. Since then he's made his disapproval known if a show comes in that he doesn't like.

10. Ryman Auditorium - the Man in Gray...believed to be perhaps a Confederate often seen in the balcony, but only during sound checks and rehearsals as well as other times the balcony is unoccupied.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

A Little Calamity...

"If you've got one drink and one friend and 45 minutes. Slow rides make for boring stories. A little that's worth talking about"(Grey's Anatomy)

I got my Grey's fix tonight and watched last night's episode. It ended with that quote, and I immediately grabbed a pen to write it down. Well, ok. I actually paused the tv, opened my facebook quote edit page, AND googled the quote. But you get the idea.

At any rate, those words resonated with me. I think it's safe to say that I've not had a slow ride lately, and that there's been some calamity involved. Now...whether it's worth talking about or not, I guess you all will decide.

Most of you probably know or have heard that I lost my job 2 months ago. I have no idea why--honestly. I was given a total BS reason, and I've been searching for a new career ever since. I miss C a lot, although not nearly as much as I first feared.

What HAS happened positively over the last 2 months? Well, I've learned a lot about me. In the interest of getting to bed at a semi-decent hour I'm just going to make a short list.

1. I obtained a lot of my self-worth from what I did for work.
I actually started realizing this early on when I started nannying--because I always had to qualify when people asked me about my job. I never thought it sounded 'good enough' to just reply with nanny. I always made it clear that I had taught for 5 years, etc.
So when I LOST the nanny self-confidence scraped the bottom.

2. Sometimes it's ok to ask for help. And it's ok to accept help even when you haven't asked for it.
I've had to really humble myself--with borrowing money from my parents, with talking to lenders about why they aren't being paid, with accepting a scholarship to go on women's retreat this year.
A wise friend told me today: "Sometimes it's better to receive. To let someone else have the gift and blessing of helping you"
I've always loved to help others. It's been a very hard thing for me to accept help. That's pride, pure and simple, and I'm (somewhat) happy to report that it's fading. Quickly.

3. I do have the capacity to face crisis with dignity.
Several friends have told me how much they admire the way I've "handled" this. Well, it's not all me. That's for sure. I have a fantastic support system, and I'm learning to trust God like I never have before.

4. There is joy in the midst of sorrow.
My relationship with A began right as all of this was transpiring. And it's been an amazing blessing to have such a wonderful man in my life. He reminds me constantly that he thinks I'm beautiful, that he appreciates the passion I have for life, and we have SUCH wonderful honesty and communication.
This is not the only joyful surprise that God had for me in all of this, but it is one I am reminded of daily.

5. There is opportunity to help those in need even when I feel I don't have the resources.
I've discovered this in a few ways--friends who have needed rides because they locked their keys in the trunk of the car...a neighbor and friend whose brother was dying who needed errands run and her dog kept while family poured in for the funeral...another who needed to crash on the couch for a night or two to get better sleep than she was getting in the stressful home environment she found herself in.
I don't have to have a lot of money in the bank or a whole lot of resources to do these things. I just have to listen to what those I love need. I think after this whole experience I'll find myself a more empathetic and caring person.

So, where do I go from here? Hell if I know. But what I DO know is that I have a future. I have a hope, and I trust in the Father who knows what lies ahead.