what i'm loving wednesday 12.21

i'm loving the changes on the horizon (and already happening) on the job front for both A and i.  we're both transitioning into new roles and figuring out what it all means...amazing to think that 6 months ago neither of us knew these jobs existed.

i'm loving this amazing lotion i found at whole foods body.  i had this inexplicable rash that started a few days before my wedding and is located around my left collarbone.  after being miserable itchy for a few weeks, i bought this $10 natural lotion and it cleared completely in a week's time.  since then, another patch has materialized, but it's disappearing thanks to the lotion as well.  yay for yummy smelling goodness.

i'm loving random texts from friends, impromptu lunch/dinner/coffee dates, or hikes with cell group girls.  so thankful for the quality people God has surrounded me with!


i'm loving the cuteness i get to enjoy on tuesdays and thursdays.  i often say my two jobs afford me the best of both worlds, and i stand by that.  soon enough, this season will end so i am determined to enjoy it for what it is.  :-)

i'm loving that emi loves this time of year :0).  here she is laying on her favorite (tissue paper) in front of the tree (which she loves to nibble on periodically) while we watched hockey (one of my favorites).

i'm loving that gift shopping is DONE (except for the mailed gifts to family and some friend gifts...but those aren't going to be given ON christmas).

i'm loving that the budget was stuck to, and that we went WAY under for nearly everyone.  Woo-hoo!

i'm loving the prospect of a few days off...and that my husband has one of those days off with me.  suh-weet.

i'm loving that this is our first christmas together...such amazing blessings we've been given, not the least of which happen to be each other :-)

i'm just loving this time of year.  as much as i can't wait for christmas, i'm going to be bummed when this precious season is over.

today

thursday's ten will post tomorrow (it's a giveaway edition so get ready!)


today, reflect
remember
be grateful


for what little you have
for the abundance you have
for the relationships you cherish
for the ones you long for


life is not perfect for any of us
and we on our blogs often forget to show a balanced perspective


so if today isn't ideal for you
if family gatherings are painful or nonexistent, or you simply can't go for any number of reasons


know that 
i get it
(really, i do)


but there is always
ALWAYS
something to give thanks for.


and sometimes digging to find it means you find other treasures along the way


so today, be blessed
because you already are.

thursday's ten: st patrick's day

abbreviated today because my life this week = i.n.s.a.n.e




it's no secret that i'm fiercely proud to be Irish and German (*mostly.  some other random stuff thrown in).
it's also no secret that in both those lineages are things that i'm not thrilled about.
lots and lots of occult and pagan stuff in irish history especially

and yet, on this day i remember
that the irish are a deeply spiritual folk
(which is likely why they were so faithful in their worship even in pre-Christian ireland.
and is likely why the fighting among christians has been so strong there.
we irish are awfully stubborn
and when we think something is right it's pretty hard to tell us otherwise)

they're (we're) also a fiercely optimistic bunch.
and a resilient population as well.
(hellooo potato famine, several invasions, etc, etc, etc,)

i tend to think it's my irish side that tries looking at situations from the most positive perspective possible.
after all, it could be so.much.worse
(almost always)
and the irish...well, are quite colorful at getting that point across.

i think you'll see a bit of a glimpse of that in the following irish blessings i've collected.
some are favorites from years ago.
some are recently discovered.

i hope you enjoy...and i pray that you're blessed.

May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

May the roof above us never fall in.
And may the friends gathered below it never fall out.

Christ be with me,
be after me,
be before me,
and be at my right and left hand.
May everything I do be for Christ.

May those that love us, love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles
So we will know them by their limping.

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Christ be with me
Christ before me
Christ behind me
Christ in me
Christ beneath me
Christ above me
Christ on my right
Christ on my left
Christ where I lie
Christ where I sit
Christ where I arise
Christ in the heart of every man
who thinks of me
Christ in the mouth of every man
who speaks of me
Christ in every eye that sees me
Christ in every ear that hears me
Salvation is of the Lord.

Dear Lord,
Give me a few friends
who will love me for what I am,
and keep ever burning
before my vagrant steps
the kindly light of hope...
And though I come not within sight
of the castle of my dreams,
teach me to be thankful for life,
and for time's olden memories
that are good and sweet.
And may the evening's twilight
find me gentle still.

Sleep, my babe, lie still and slumber,
All through the night
Guardian angels God will lend thee,
All through the night
Soft and drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,
Mother dear her watch is keeping,
All through the night
God is here, you'll not be lonely,
All through the night
'Tis not I who guards thee only,
All through the night
Night's dark shades will soon be over,
Still my watchful care shall hover,
God with me His watch is keeping,
All through the night

Wherever you go and whatever you do,
May the luck of the Irish be there with you.

Wishing you always...
Walls for the wind,
A roof for the rain
And tea beside the fire.
Laughter to cheer you,
Those you love near you,
And all that your heart may desire   

St Patrick's story is a great one.  may i point you to a couple of my previous st patrick's day posts: the veggie tales version of his story and one of st patrick's prayers

things that made me smile today

(erm...yesterday? and early today?)

the drive to work--gorgeous country roads (and only 15 minutes away from my house...perfect)

upon arrival to work, hearing P yell "hi! hi! hi!" before i could even see him

(he's SO precious!)

my voice student's smile when i told her the song she's been working on is nearly performance ready

babysitting tonight for children i go to church with but don't see on a truly regular basis...and hearing the oldest (a 4 year old little girl) say "i love you miss lora" out of the blue.

modern family reruns after the kids went to bed

extra money for next week's excursion because i took this job tonight.

emi being happy to see me when i finally got home

the tomato plants i planted yesterday still standing :) -- in fact, perked up quite a bit because of the slight shower they got this evening.

so even though i left my house at 7:45 am, and i just walked in the door at 12:26 am the following day ...

i'm blessed

i truly enjoyed all 3 of my jobs today

and even though i'm wiped out

i'd do it again

(not just to earn the money)...but because right now? i get to LOVE my job.

yeah, i'm not rolling in money

i still wonder about what's in my financial future

but i love what i do

and right now

in this moment

that's where i'm supposed to be.

Year in Review

I promise this is the LAST New Year's themed thing I'll be doing until approximately 12 months from now!

First of all, last year I posted that my word of the year was BLESS.
I'm sticking with that word. It's not a word of the year; it's the word of a lifetime. I firmly believe that I was sent to this earth to bless and to be a blessing. You can read more about why I chose that word here.

So with that in mind, my word of this year will be GIVE.
I have learned over the last year and a half or so that giving does not have to be monetary. I can give my time, my talents, my service. Having been the recipient of so many wonderful things, how could I not give back?

And now, on to the mindless meme:

What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
road tripped overnight with a BOY
:)
(actually like 4 times!)
consulted and invoiced large corporations, interviewed for teaching jobs and didn't get them (I have always been hired on the spot before!) and worked in the non-profit sector which I LOVE
had a high school reunion
gone to my first NFL game--several times!

Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make resolutions so much as I make goals/expectations. I didn't lose the weight, but overall have a healthier lifestyle, so the weight will happen this year. I'm cool with that.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Several people. Starting with Laura (Israel), then a couple of babysitting clients: Anne (Elizabeth "Ellie") and Carolyn (Aaron), and then finally my friend Jessica (Finnegan "Finn"). I have a couple of close friends who are due in 2010 too!

Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year, which is a nice break

What countries did you spend time in this year?
Just the USA

What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
a full-time job with BENEFITS

What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Uh...nothing huge that I can remember. Anthony and I have made a lot of memories and have seen a ton of good times, but I don't know as any DATES are etched on my memory. Events are though: football games, road trips, anniversaries and Valentines day, girls nights, high school reunion, visits from college/high school friends...

What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
making it through without being in a complete financial pit! Even though no full-time income since August 2008...

What was your biggest failure?
I choose to see failures as learning experiences.
I guess not sticking to a weight loss plan, but even then...

Did you suffer any serious injury or illness?
swine flu? maybe?
and my back going out twice now...

What was the best thing you bought?
the Colts/Titans tickets for Indy, my iPhone or my Mac. Can't decide :)

Whose behavior merited celebration?
Anthony's...several good friends

Whose behavior made you appalled and/or depressed?
Eh. No one really

Where did most of your money go?
bills, bills, bills, mortgage, bills, bills, clearance sales

Compared to this time last year, are you,
a)happier or sadder? about the same, and infinitely blessed
b)thinner or fatter? fatter if anything
c) richer or poorer? richer slightly in money, richer by far in experience

What did you get really, really excited about?
oh, lots of stuff

What do you wish you'd done more of?
uh...nothing? I struck a pretty good balance.

Did you fall in love in 2009?
I think that one was sewed up before 2009 :)

How many one-night stands?
Uh, none. What kind of a question is that?!

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No...again, what kinda question?!

What was the best book you read?
Hmmm. The Search for God and Guinness was pretty interesting. I'll be reviewing it here within a few days.

What did you want and not get?
??

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 28. We spent it with wonderful friends, Andy and Mandy.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
nothing

Who did you miss?
LaJuana and Randy once they moved...very sad

Who was the best new person you met?
Did I meet anyone new? I guess a few people at church and co-workers at my temporary place of employment...and Laura's mom Donna...

Tell us a valuable life lesson(s) you learned in 2009
Just how amazing people can be...and how humbling it is to accept help when it's needed...

What sums up this year (a word, a quote?)
"I get by with a little help from my friends"
-John Lennon

Why am I Still Surprised?

I am constantly surprised. I'm not sure why, exactly, but I am.

I mean, I'm the one continually telling people
how faithful God is
how real His mercies are
and how I've been so trusting of Him over these last few months.

And then out of the blue He astonishes me with His provision.

I got off the phone around 2 pm today, sad.
I had just been told by a family that had mentioned the possibility of me becoming their nanny that they had decided to keep their 2 year old boy and newborn baby girl in school fulltime.
And while the conversation was good, and I fully support their decision, I was sad.
And worried.
And immediately on the phone and email channels trying to figure out what's next. Because even though nannying wasn't my first choice...
it was nice to have that offer "in my back pocket" in case a teaching position didn't work out.
I was beginning to be resigned to the life of a nanny.
I had begun to stop contacting the schools.
And this just set all that in motion once again.

However, Anne, as we ended our conversation asked me if I would mind being their "on call" person between now and when her parents arrive on the 4th. "Just in case" her water broke or she went into labor in the middle of the night. Just long enough for her husband's parents to drive up from Atlanta to take care of Mr Man (their 2 year old).
I said absolutely.

Not 4 hours later my phone rang.
It was Anne.
Not in labor, but in the hospital because of a car accident. Everything looks fine for her and baby girl, but since she's 2 weeks out from her due date they're monitoring her for 24 hours before allowing her to leave.
Could I stay overnight with Mr. Man so that her husband could stay with her? Of course, they'll pay me my normal rate for this time...

I hung up the phone, and after a prayer offered up for her and Baby Girl, and thanksgiving for their safety, I began to giggle.

Because as I'm worried about how the bills are going to be paid, I get an overnight babysitting job.

My God is a God who provides.

Isn't it funny...how when we least expect it...

I realize that it's not an all-powerful, moving mountains kind of story.
No oceans roaring.
No howling winds, no mighty thunderstorms.

But Elijah heard that still small voice
And today...I think I did too.

"I AM a God Who provides"

And suddenly...though I still wonder what's next...I'm not worried anymore.

My GOD is a GOD who Provides!

(a new Hillsong release that speaks to this better than my words can)

Desert Song

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

I'm Just Me

I've had at least 4 people in the last week come up to me at church or send me a message saying "I stumbled onto your blog the other day"

It's a bit disconcerting.

After all, when I'm semi-anonymous it's "safe" to write all of this stuff. And yes, my boyfriend reads this blog (hi honey!) and a handful of friends do as well, but it still seemed "safe".

And then tonight I was singing on the worship team at church, filling in for my very preggo friend Jes who just wasn't up to the task (understandably--she IS nearly ready to deliver!). And Randy, our worship minister, introduced a song that he recently wrote. It's all about dropping the facade, being authentic, and letting even the ugly parts show.

And I realized that's what I do on this blog. I'm "inside out", as the song says, and I'm just me...and that's ok.

So here I am...

a girl who was once afraid--terrified--to love
a woman that disagrees fundamentally with her current church's position on "women in the church"
one who often lets a curse word slip (sometimes even here in written form!)
who has taken a quote from her favorite Ellen/Gladys conversation to heart: "I love Jesus, but I drink a little"
who is broken and blessed, all at the same time
who, as much as she has fought against it and tried to take it back, has left a little piece of herself in a small, southern Indiana farmtown
who is madly in love with Jesus
who likes to write about her thoughts, both frivilous and semi-deep
who would love to lose the 20 or so pounds that crept on when her former ED self began to actually enjoy food
and who has determined
that this blog
will be 100%
authentically
totally
REAL

That's what you've got. And everyday I'm humbled and amazed that several of you seem to enjoy reading what I have to say. What began as a creative outlet has led me to so many friendships and opened my eyes to new worlds.

I'm grateful.

And this girl? Isn't going anywhere. So no matter if I've known you since middle school (hi Angie!), am dating you, go to church with you, have met you through an online voice somewhere, or any of the categories in between...I'm glad you're here to share this part of my journey with me. It's a bumpy road, this Life, but I'm blessed beyond measure to have people like you in my path.

Happy St Patrick's Day!!!

The Veggie Tales version of St. Patrick's story...



This holiday is among my favorites.

Here's to you and yours

And to mine and ours.

And if mine and ours

Ever come across to you and yours,

I hope you and yours will do

As much for mine and ours

As mine and ours have done

For you and yours!

May the roof above us never fall in.

And may the friends gathered below it never fall out.