it's a great day to tell you about my word for 2012

i've been doing this word of the year for awhile now.  and it's interesting to see how it's built.  i think you'll see a bit of a theme if you read through...my word of 2009 was bless, 2010 was give, 2011 was more and this year just kind of builds on that!


i had no idea there was a "oneword" organization out there, but i think it's awesome that there is!
i've always felt that God gave me my word.  and this year is no different.


it was pretty easy to grasp "bless" and "give".  but as God stretched me and taught me more about himself the words have begun to be a little more...faith-building.  when i heard "more" last year, i was a little off-put at first. after all, it sounded kind of greedy...like i wanted MORE of something.  and i did...but not in the traditional sense.


(and boy did i have more!  more of all that was on that list...and even MORE.)


this year is one of those words that seems off-putting.  i struggled with it for a few days, to be honest.  and then when i met with my cell group girls tuesday, everything just kind of...fit.


you see, the word i've been hearing over and over is lavish.
i even tried to change it up.  "extravagant" sounded good, and i could get behind it.  you know, loving extravagantly, being extravagant with my time, etc, etc.


nope.  the word (He said again) is lavish.


and when i was chatting with my girls about the root of that word and realized a few things, it made a little more sense to me (although i am SO looking forward to finding out why He's been so insistent on this word!)

even webster's description of the word is rich: check it out if you like

you see, LAVISH is what Mary did when she annointed Christ (in john 12.1-8).  the pure nard that passage speaks of was not only considered a lavish gift, but some translations speak of her lavishing her gift on Jesus


others who loved Jesus even criticized the lavishness--the expense.
but Jesus stopped them and praised her for the extravagance.


oh that my life will be so full of lavish praise, adoration and acts of love and devotion
that even others who love Jesus will think it strange


oh that He will equip me to be lavish with my time, my giftings and my gifts to others
that i will be filled with wisdom
but that i will be unapologetically lavish in what i do, what i say, how i serve.


i've no doubt that i will receive some lavish gifts from my Papa...after all, He's done it over and over for me


but i'm excited
because i get to be lavish this year
and i have no idea
what i'll be saying in 2013!


do you have a word of the year?  please share!

Monday's Memory: the one in Venice

this is one

where the picture can kinda speak for itself

(may 2002, europe tour)

Monday's Memory: the one with the suitemates

(this one shall have lots of pictures)

we met during freshman orientation

a weekend when we visited a local waffle house way too late at night

ordered pizza that took 2 hours to arrive

learned a tiny bit about each other

and decided to be suitemates

we paired off with the 2 "l's" in one room (lindsay and lora)

and gwen and beth in the other

a yankee and a southerner as the makeup of each room

you would have thought we wouldn't work

since NONE of us knew the other

but somehow

beautiful friendships were formed

together we celebrated:

first dates

birthdays (on a budget)

and sometimes just dressed up to dress up

thursday nights were "suite nights"

usually they involved going to wal-mart or the mall

stopping by sonic for a meal

or even walking to the scary subway for a sandwich

we would come back and crash

and watch a movie

(in gwen and beth's room. they had the tv. we had the fridge and microwave)

lindsay introduced us to a show called "second noah"

and we would have marathon nights of watching it on her vhs tapes

from the first season to the last

and we sang

loudly

to the partridge family's "i think i love you"

to rascal flatt's "prayin' for daylight"

and to dixie chicks...well, anything

("goodbye earl" was a particular favorite, however)

we all had musical taste differences

but THOSE were the songs we could agree on. always.

we argued too

and would have nights where we would just talk and work things out

some of those nights involved some tears

but without fail, we'd end up all piled together on one bed

laughing at something

we had long talks

about what we wanted our lives to look like

about faith

family

how we wanted to live out God's calling on each of us

(we had no clue how to do that...we just knew we had to)

it was an idyllic 2 years

junior year, only beth and i returned to trevecca

and we had different roommates

(although our apartments were just across from each other for awhile)

we got together often

and still took classes together (mostly music)

it wasn't quite the same

6 years after the last time we'd all seen each other

beth got married

and the 4 of us saw each other again

(although beth was a little busy...

so it was mainly gwen, lindsay and i who were able to reconnect)

that was in 2007

gwen came to visit nashville last year and we were able to spend a few days together

different "pairings" like that have happened

but the 4 of us haven't spent any time together

that's going to change

THIS WEEKEND!

someone's parents have a cabin

close to gatlinburg

and lindsay, gwen, beth, elijah (beth's toddler) and i

will spend thursday through sunday together

i'm not sure we'll have the same kind of menu

(we're trading ramen noodles for my vodka pasta)

or the same movies

(at least we'll be switching vhs for dvd)

and WE are not the same people

but we still have mad love for each other

and these friendships, i truly treasure

because when we get together

it's like it was 10 years ago when we first met.

Monday's Memory: The One With Disney and a University President

(thats me, far left, holding the iced coffee and Disney bag. not much has changed in my love of coffee and shopping!)

In 2002, one of the choirs I was involved in took a bus to Orlando for a long weekend. We performed at several area churches, but we DID spend a day at Disney. We could pick one park, and my friends and I chose MGM Studios. My reasoning was that since I'd never been to Disney I'd rather come back and do it one day with my kids.
(or not. now I kinda just want to go!)

Anyway, my good friend Bethany (far right in the picture) and I caught up with some friends. We were lucky enough to get asked to be in the cast of a show because we got there early (although it made us really wet!) and I survived the Tower of Terror (never.again). I loved the Rock-n-Rollercoaster or whatever it's called because not only did it blast Aerosmith, it also was all in the dark so I couldn't tell when I was upside down!

We were surprised to bump into our university President when we were headed to the meeting spot. Apparently he had also chosen our park, and we asked to get a picture with him. Dr. Millard Reed is such an awesome and incredible man--I'm glad to have this little photo treasure :)

Titus 2 Tuesday: Keli

People who can inspire amid pain are true treasures.

My friend Keli is like that. I've already told you her husband's story. But Keli deserves some time herself.

Keli and her husband Sam were one of the first models of a Christian marriage I saw that I wanted to have for myself. I spent many nights and weekends at their house while I was in college and was always impressed that they took time to romance each other and show that they were still deeply in love. Hard to do, perhaps, with 3 little girls under the age of 6 running around, but they managed. What an inspiration! I will never forget sitting in the congregation one Sunday morning when Keli sang a solo and whispering into a friends ear "I want my future husband to look at me the way Sam looks at Keli when she sings." I knew that if I met a man with that *look* in his eye when he looked at me, that all would be ok with us. I don't really think I'm explaining that well but trust me...you would know if you saw it.

Keli has been pretty vocal on the blog she and Sam are writing. He is the minister in the family, but don't doubt for a moment that because Keli isn't on staff at a church she isn't ministering to those around her just as much!

I'm going to let her words speak to you, from their blog the day after they found out he was not yet in remission.

Into every life some rain falls! We all get news we don’t want to hear. This was ours. It just adds some time on to our stay here…I still firmly believe that the end result will still be the same…Remission. Just not in the exact time that I had planned. Don’t you love when you lay out your time plans for the Almighty! He must laugh at us. I am continuing to learn to sit back and allow Him to carry us through this whole process…trust me …as a nurse…I would like to steer this deal my self!

I know you can look back and think of pitty parties that you have thrown for yourself. They are not fun! They usually include a pouty lip, puffy eyes, furrowed brow and a list of injustices. I have had my share. I had a mini one this morning….and then I quit…because the parties I prefer include cake, friends, and all around good feelings.

I am aware that we are confined to the hospital until the chemo is done and Sams counts are up…whatever that takes. I am aware that we didn’t get the diagnosis that we wanted. BUT DO NOT FORGET That the same God we were praying to this morning before we got this diagnosis…is the same one that is still able to sustain and heal our bodies AND our spirits. I am so thankful!

I'm so thankful to know this amazing woman, and to call her my friend.

Their beautiful family. Sam loves to say they're the "blonde leading the blonde."

Titus 2 Tuesday: Marsha

I read a very disturbing blog this morning by a former classmate of mine. He was literally preaching on the evils of Halloween and how we as Christians are letting demonic activity into our lives if we participate. It was well-written, and he stated that he had researched every point, which I'm sure was true. And I understand and respect the viewpoint. However, I came away pretty disturbed.

The thing is, it was disturbing to me on more than one level.

On one level, I'm disturbed any time a fellow Christian presumes to be more holy than another. Last I checked we are all sinners in need of a Savior. And last I checked, none of us has a corner on all the answers.

On another level, it's disturbing to me because it's how I was raised.

I know Halloween is a touchy subject among my fellow Christians, so I'm not going to go any further into it. Suffice it to say, I've been on both sides of the beliefs on celebrating Halloween, and while I understand the reasoning behind denouncing the holiday, I prefer a more balanced viewpoint myself--understanding the history and celebrating the present.

All of that to say, it really got me thinking.

My parents were certainly not balanced in their beliefs on manners such as this. The churches I grew up in for my young years were not either, and while the church I attended and fell in love with as a teenager was...it was still my parents "standards" that governed my life.

So where DID my balanced viewpoints come into play? When did I learn to think outside the box and believe more and differently than I had been raised to believe?

I can't pinpoint a specific time and place that this began to change, but I can pinpoint an individual who was instrumental in helping me realize that not fitting into the typical mold of Christianity was not necessarily a bad thing.

Her name was Marsha, and she was my professor for quite a few of my education courses. She was tough and didn't take crap from anyone, but she loved us and wanted to see us succeed in the classrooms we were called to.

I found out pretty early on that Marsha and I were two of the few liberals on Trevecca's campus. It definitely bonded us, as we had to stick together! :-)

Marsha was the one who approached me my sophomore year and told me that her neighbors were looking for a babysitter they could trust. I immediately said that she should give them my number and she stopped me by saying "there's something you should know first..."

That's how I began babysitting for the two little girls with two mommies...that's how I fell in love with a family I never would have been allowed to socialize with growing up...that's how I began babysitting for several same-sex couples because it was next to impossible for them to find loving and capable people to care for their children in this area of the country.

One day one of the mommies told me
"I'd love to meet your parents."
Confused, I asked her why. Her response startled me.
"I would love to meet the people who raised a daughter to be both a Christian and accepting of others. You make no secret of your beliefs and viewpoints, yet we have never felt judged or not tolerated by you. You love us and you love our babies."

I didn't have the heart to tell her that my parents would probably not be who she should meet. It was the influence of people like herself and of Marsha who helped me realize that life is not always black and white...that snap judgments should never be made...and that everyone is loved by God, therefore I am called to love them.

Marsha and others have helped me in my classroom full of different faiths, my city full of refugee families from around the world, and my daily life where I meet other people just like myself--broken and unworthy, yet called to be His children.

Marsha moved to another state to consult for their education system when I was a junior. She and I have kept in touch periodically and she's always excited to hear what new things are going on in my life.

I'm so very thankful for her influence and the influence of countless others who helped me to just get out of my box!

Sunday's Song: For Sam

I always feel so helpless when someone is sick.
When that someone has cancer it's compounded.
It's why I'm growing my hair out. When your friend with cancer asks you if you'll donate hair to cancer patients with her you can't say no!

There was a day last week when my status on facebook was something on the order of

"is astounded by the number of people who constantly expend the energy to turn positives into negatives...perhaps we should all try the opposite for awhile"

A texted me a bit later wondering what had inspired it. I told him many things, including Ms N (of driving Miss N) and her tendency to make things sound worse than they are, and the tendency of many of my friends to focus consistently on the negative.

But mostly, I told him, it was because of my friend Sam.

Sam is an example of doing the opposite--turning his negatives into positives.

Sam was the director of music at the university I attended. Very shortly after arriving there, I became his kids (3 adorable girls) consistent babysitter. And Sam and Keli became like family. I spent many weekends at their house, did laundry for free in their machines, house and pet sat when they were gone...

We went to church together--Sam was the worship minister. Shortly after I bought my condo and had began attending and eventually joined the church I now attend, Sam and Keli accepted a position at another church in town. We kind of lost contact over the years, although I have called or emailed a few times.

About two months ago I began seeing confusing (to me) status updates from Keli on facebook...and then from their neice Lizzie who I went to school with...and finally I was directed to Sam's blog.

He's battling acute leukemia, the same kind that killed his father when Sam was still a teenager.

The blog subscription that I added that night left me in tears.

But over the last few weeks, I have been uplifted and encouraged daily by Sam and Keli as they update...and even the girls as they leave comments on the entries.

My status update that day was triggered by a post of Sam's explaining that he is not in remission as we all had hoped. And in the middle of the post he encouraged his readers—his friends and family—not to lose faith in the God he knows is working in this situation.

Powerful.

If HE can believe so adamantly, who are we to waver?

Sam has claimed a song as “his”, though many speak to him at the moment. However, the one he mentions often, the one he encouraged all of us to listen to, is one I already knew well. It’s by Parachute Band, and the title is simple…”Complete”

Sam’s not feeling great today—this second round of chemo is affecting him differently and he’s nauseous and feeling rather weak. There’s not a whole lot I can do but pray…and ask all of you to do the same. I’m not going to share the link to his blog here publicly, but if you would like to remain connected to his story and be uplifted by what he and Keli have to say, message me. I’ll be happy to share the blog address with you.

Today…for Sam

Complete

Here I am, O God
I bring this sacrifice, my open heart
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
It restores me again

So I lift my eyes to You, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears
Through the storm I will hold on, Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I’ll see beyond my Calvary one day
And I will be complete in You

Here I am, O God
I bring this sacrifice, my open heart
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
It restores me again

So I lift my eyes to You, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears
Through the storm I will hold on, Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I’ll see beyond my Calvary one day
And I will be complete in You

I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
It restores me again

So I lift my eyes to You, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears
Through the storm I will hold on, Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I’ll see beyond my Calvary one day
And I will be complete
Yes, I will be complete in
I will be complete in You

Read

Complete Lyrics

here.

Monday's Memory -- the one wth the Mexican Pigeons

Junior year of college

My friend Laura and I chased pigeons in a little park in Laredo, Mexico.

Immature? Yes.
Fun? You bet.

Monday's Memory

Ah, college.

These 3 girls were my suitemates my first 2 years at Trevecca, and have become lifelong friends.

Our freshman year we looked like this...

And we were young, a bit naive, silly, serious, hopeful for our futures, and clueless about the life God had in store for us.

We had Thursday night suite nights, stayed up late watching old tv shows on VHS, skipped classes and chapel together occasionally just to reconnect and destress, and laughed, cried, sang and prayed...a LOT.

It broke my heart when Lindsay and Gwen elected other options for college our junior year. Bethany and I stayed close, but the fabulous foursome never got together during college again.

In 2007, we gathered again, for the first time since the end of our sophomore year.
Bethany's wedding was a joyful time for all 4 of us!
She's since had a baby (sweet Elijah)
And Gwen has come to visit me
And 2 or 3 of us have gathered elsewhere
And we've promised to get the 4 of us together again...soon.
Because Bethany and family will be going to the mission field in the next few years.
So time together is precious.

But every time we do get together...it's as though we've never parted.

Of course I remember.

In the midst of working, packing for retreat, looking for permanent work, and generally living my life...I've read a lot of facebook statuses and blogs today that reflect on this day as it was 8 years ago.

Some are poignant, all are honoring, and I'm torn between focusing on that day and focusing on this day.

Do I remember?

Of course I remember.

I was 20, and in college. The world as I knew it was smaller then, and I was enjoying all that the (small, private, Christian) university life had to offer.

We were in our 8:30 music theory class when someone came in late--not an unusual thing at all, but the way he frantically interrupted the prof to tell us all to get online NOW was unusual. We were sitting in front of these awesome Mac flat screens, and we all went to CNN as our professor turned on the TV.

And we sat in horror.

Class was obviously dismissed, and we headed to the student center...because no one wanted to be alone. We crowded around the teeny tv in the lounge, never minding that there were larger tvs in some of our rooms, much less the dorm common areas. It started with about 20 of us, then grew until there were probably 200 people in the space usually taken up by less than 100.

And then something happened.

The bell tolled for chapel.

And silently, simultaneously, 200+ college students turned and walked up the hill.

Not because we had to. Chapel requirement was the last thing on our minds.

Because it was ALL WE KNEW TO DO.

Chapel was the first place I heard a sound other than a news broadcast since we first found out the news.

It was the sound of nearly 2000 people on their knees before a God who they loved, honored and adored...and didn't understand nearly as much as they had thought 3 hours before.

It was anguish, despair, hope and healing all at once.

And all we could do was believe God heard.

The rest of the day was a flurry of activity--calling friends and family in the areas affected, comforting those on campus who hadn't yet heard from their loved ones, trying to go to the American Red Cross to donate blood only to be turned away because the whole of Nashville was doing the same...

And in the midst of all that activity...God heard.

And though my world is larger today, and I stay busy

I still know that God hears.

So yes, I remember the yesterday of 8 years ago. And of course I mourn for those lives taken abruptly and too soon, and for the tragedy the world experienced--and still experiences.

But my focus is on today. Because God is here, because He hears, and because I can't change what happened then.

But I can remember, and realize how I am better now than I was before that day.

Tonight and this weekend I will be at a retreat with a youth group--some of which are to young to truly remember the events of that day.

My responsibility isn't to try to sensationalize a past they can't possibly appreciate.
My responsibility is to teach and convey to them what I've learned as a result of that past.

And that--that I can do.

God hears.

As far as my experience of September 11, 2001 goes...that's all they need to know.

Monday's Memory

Italy, 2002

My first experience with San Pelligrino water
It was love at first sight.
And being the musicians we are, we also played a few tunes. In harmony.
(I'm on the left)

Titus 2 Tuesday

What have learned from another woman this week? (or ever)



I am having the hardest time with these posts lately.
It's not that I don't have enough wonderful women to choose from.
It's that I have too many.

You see, my mother and I have never been close. She had an oddly (and unhealthy) closeness to her own mother, and it honestly wasn't until my grandma died my senior year of college that she attempted to forge a relationship with me. By then...it was really too late.

It's not that I don't love my mom. I do. Truly. And we've gotten closer as time has gone by, but in all the meantime God has provided many "mothers" to fill the void I had.

I'm not sure when I began realizing this. I've already written about two of those "mothers" when writing these T2T posts. Now it's time to introduce you to yet another.

I was so intimidated the first time I met ML. Her husband was a professor at the university I attended, we played in the orchestra together at church, and he and I had become fairly close over the course of the 2 months or so I had been in town. When I met his wife (who goes by ML instead of Marylou) for the first time (after church one Sunday morning) I thought there was no way I would EVER click with this beautiful, classy woman who had it all together.

I remained intimidated until Christmas break freshman year. Our music minister at church had especially asked if I could stay for the Christmas extravaganza. Unfortunately, it was scheduled for the Sunday...after the dorms closed on Friday. I begged housing to let me stay the extra 2 days, but apparently they put a huge vacuum seal over the entire university during the Christmas holidays and there was no way I was breaking that barrier. So Don said "Well, just stay at our house!"

Gulp.

He "led" me to their house that Friday afternoon in the midst of rush hour (which I was still not used to--rush hour at "home" meant a tractor was on the highway...or the high school had just let out). Once we got there, he showed me to my room for the weekend and then headed off to do something...I think it was going back to campus to enter grades or something. I was left alone in the house with a beautiful English spaniel dog (who was my instant buddy and remained so until she died--I was the only person who could take care of her when her parents went out of town). Within an hour or so, I heard the garage door open. I smoothed my hair and tried to look as natural as possible because I knew SHE was home.

She walked in, greeted the dog, and then looked at me and said 7 wonderful words:

"Why don't we go to the mall?"

And a beautiful friendship was born.

ML and I bonded quickly over that weekend, and I was at their house many, many times after. I house-sat for them, dog-sat for them (and Don would bring the dog to see me any time he had her on campus...or call me to go get her out of his office if he had back to back classes). ML became someone that I did total girl things with, like shopping, getting manicures and visiting the makeup counters. ML was the one who introduced me to the beautiful hiking areas of Nashville and for that I will be eternally grateful. Most Sunday afternoons involved a lunch at their house and a hike around Edwin Warner park which was literally 5 minutes from their house at the time. Sometimes they would also invite the girls I lived with, but often it was just me and ML.

I found out a lot about her (them) on those hikes. She grew up in Indiana too, had a very similar upbringing to mine, we had a lot of the same battle wounds. She and Don had never had children of their own...by choice. And so that faux mother/daughter role was easy for both of us to adopt. We were asked by strangers constantly if we were mother and daughter and we always laughed about it...because we look nothing alike!

They left the church we all attended my sophomore year, and those Sunday afternoons became less frequent, but still we gathered together often. And I visited them at their new church (Christ Church) a LOT. I still visit there--it's a pretty well-known church to anyone in this area, and Don actually plays in the band there.

About a year after I graduated they moved closer to the area I live in (and go to church in). You would think this means I see them often, but that's unfortunately not the case. ML has a pretty demanding job and has had to be out of town a lot lately. And of course in my current job-limbo, it's not as easy for me to be up for a shopping trip even if she is in town.

I have no doubt however of these things:
ML loves God
and she loves me.

And that's enough.

(at my senior recital, 2003)

Wednesday's Walk

Wednesday's Walk

You know, Tennessee has some CRAZY weather.
When I first came to TN I didn't realize that no one here *really* knew how to drive in snow and ice. No problem (so I thought) it doesn't happen here often. Well...I definitely underestimated the IDEA of snow and ice.

One winter's night our freshman year, the forecast called for snow...and ice. And yes, we even saw a flurry or two. However, after a busy night of watching tv and mindless chatter studying, the four of us decided that indeed we needed some ice cream. And we could all hear Maggie Moo's calling to us.

Now, Maggie's closes around 9. We weren't worried though, it was 8 pm and the shop was approximately 15 minutes away in Green Hills.

Well...traffic was insane. And when we got to Green Hills we discovered that everyone had closed early because of the snow! We were sorely disappointed, but decided to go with our backup plan: Sonic. Which was literally less than a mile from our dorm's front door
.
(While we were out, one of the girls' moms called and fussed at commended us for getting out in the weather. Which made me laugh. There WAS NO WEATHER!)

Plan B. We were NOT happy. A milkshake from Sonic was quite inferior to our original dream of cinnamoo, or vanilla with an add-in...

How many times does my life take a Plan B route? And how many times has God heard me complain about how inferior Plan B is when it really was His original plan all along?

I wonder.