I moved quickly and efficiently though my classroom, first doing a quick sweep of the hall, shutting the curtain, locking the door, and turning out the light.  I had already instructed all my students to remain calm but stay absolutely silent and move away from the windows, even though we are on the second floor. My heart racing, I pulled down all three blinds in my classroom, murmuring to each student who I felt was sitting too close to a window to move a bit further away.

Finally, I ran to my office to pull down the shade in that room, surveying quickly to see if we would all fit in case I felt it was necessary. (But moving there might draw attention, so I'm really going to have to judge the situation as it develops).

I returned to my desk, noting the large eyes that grew larger as they saw a shadow moving outside our classroom door. Fear sparked in their eyes as they realized the knob was moving.  I tried to smile reassuringly, but the dark figure in the slim window rattling the door was disconcerting.  

Students remained still and silent as my thoughts raced.  I tell my students often that my first and most important job is keeping them safe.  Normally that is safe from emotional and social threats, but this is a reminder that I am absolutely responsible for their physical well-being as well.

Thankfully the drill was over within a few more minutes.

Fire and tornado drills do not affect me this way.
They do not affect the students the same way either.

Being shot at school is not something we should have to prepare our children for literally from birth.

monday's memory: the one with the return home

ok, it's been awhile. so i'm just jumping back in. and i'm going to use my normal "monday memory" slot to catch up on what's been happening in our lives the past couple of years.

so.

i worked at an amazing inclusive preschool for 4 years. i learned SO.MUCH there about myself, about managing others, about children with needs far beyond what i would have imagined, and about dealing with the drama of working with a staff of 80% females! 

for awhile i could seriously imagine myself doing this forever.

and then it happened.

i realized, as i taught music to the children (ages 6 weeks to 7 years) how much i LOVED and MISSED teaching music.

and so i began daring to dream a little. it was as if God was whispering in my ear to hope.

i had always kept my application current with my former school system, but nothing seemed to materialize. i had applied in other systems as well, but nothing piqued my interest.

and then a friend who taught at the very elementary school i had passed many times on the way to teach piano lessons told me their music teacher was leaving.  it was an elementary school in the one of the most affluent counties, with a great population to work with, unlimited resources and parents who were highly involved.

i interviewed. i realized about midway through the interview that i didn't want to work here. as much as the school was amazing and i would be working with a wonderful group of people...i just did not want that job.

{release}

my current boss called me into her office in the midst of this and told me that i would be able to teach in a classroom in the fall if i wanted.  the open room was the 4 year old room, and i knew it would be challenging but great. and it was what i had truly wanted to do for a couple of years. i accepted, knowing that if i found out anything from the school system i would be able to tell her in plenty of time for her to put a deserving assistant teacher in that role.

{security}

and yet, i felt like i heard the Holy Spirit whispering "keep dreaming..."

in may i attended a conference at a church nearby, and was really encouraged by several of the messages.  but on my way home one night i found myself talking to God...really baring my soul to Him.

i told Him that i knew He placed the desire and talents within me to want to teach middle school, and that He knew my heart was to teach in my former system again. i had been searching daily and there were NO middle school positions, so i was so frustrated so i literally asked Him to release me from this deep desire or to let it materialize.

i wasn't despairing. but i was weary.

and two days later i received a message from a former assistant principal of mine that there was a potential opening in her {middle} school that was 10 minutes away from my house.

through her communication i finally leaped the last hurdle with my application and got the green light for interviews.  the music dept head for the system was incredibly impressed by my credentials and told me that she would be thrilled to have me back.

and i interviewed at the school. and it was fine. and while i was in the interview i got a voice mail from the principal of the school down the road, the one only 3 minutes from my house, the one connected to the greenway that i had literally walked dozens of times and prayed over the school and the people in it.

{talk about sowing into your future!}

and she interviewed me over the phone on a saturday while she was on vacation. and by the end of our conversation she told me i would have an email by day's end on monday with an offer.

i've been there since august.
and no, not every day has been wonderful. not every student has come to me and showered me with praise about what an amazing teacher i am.
[who am i kidding...i teach middle schoolers. they give me major attitude on a daily basis!]

but i am where i belong.
i am doing what i am supposed to be doing.
and i am thrilled.

over a 3 month period, God literally let me have a chance to do the things i thought i wanted. and continued to encourage me to dream bigger.

i'm so glad i took His challenge.

monday's memory: the one with air force one

while i was teaching, the strings teacher next door to me was a pilot in his spare time.
as in, had his own hanger behind his house, his own little plane.
(WAY cool, right?)

one day he came to school and told the band teacher and i that the President was coming into town
AND that since they had temporarily closed a couple of runways, the only flight path he could possibly be flying in came right over our school
our football field, to be exact

so we held class outside that day
and our kids got a kick
(as did we)
of seeing air force one fly over

:)

Monday's Memory: The One With Fire On My Board

See this girl?

Young, skinny, cute haircut...

I was her once.

She was also a baby teacher (although the highest compliment she may have ever received from her co-workers was that she came in a veteran teacher). She loved her job passionately, and dreamed that all her students would succeed.
And sometimes they succeeded in driving her absolutely mad.

One class in particular that first year was dubbed "the class from hell". We, as teachers, have one of those every few years, more frequently if we are blessed to be in inner city or metropolitan areas. And mine was my 6th period 6th grade choir. To add insult to injury, I also had to oversee this class's dismissal procedure so I was given approximately 15 extra minutes with them every day.

Lucky me.

One afternoon as I was standing at my door one of those students came to me. She was among the last to be dismissed, and quite frankly I was ready for her bus to be called so that I could just get some peace and quiet! This was not to be had for a few moments though. The following conversation ensued:

Student: (tentatively)
"Miss B? Um...someone said something really mean about you."

Me: (trying not to show that I really have no interest in this topic of conversation...after all if I'm worried about what a 6th grader is going to say about me I've got bigger problems anyway.)
"Oh yeah?"

Student: "Yeah, they did." (pauses, looking down. then brightens as she says) "I can't tell you who it was but I can tell you what they said!"

Me: (stifling a yawn and resisting the urge to check down the hall to see if anyone had let students go for late bus line-up yet)
"Ok..."

Student: (with exaggerated pauses)
"Well, she SAID...'If she's teaching our class...then who's running Hell?"

Me: (trying oh-so-hard not to burst out laughing)
"Ah"

Intercom: (calls students on her bus)

Me: (running down the hall to the other teachers in the 8th grade wing)
"You guys are gonna LOVE this!"

Now, after telling the story most people probably would have thought little of it.
However, I have a little sadistic streak.
(after all, I did teach middle school)

You see, I knew exactly who had said it (not hard to narrow down as she was the chief troublemaker in the class) and I knew I could make her squirm.

So the next day in the 8th grade reading class I was teaching (don't get me started on how I was given that class and a 7th grade one as an afterthought and had to figure out how in the world to teach reading when I was still trying to figure out how to teach music! and especially don't get me started on how I loved teaching those 2 classes so much that I'm still considering getting a Master's in Language Arts just so I can do it all day...)

Anyway, in the 8th grade reading class I was teaching I approached the boy who always sat in the corner doodling and consequently had about 3 grades out of the 10 he needed. And I said

"Manuel, how would you like to get full credit for xxx assignment even though you didn't turn it in?"

Naturally, he was intrigued. And asked how that was possible.

"Can you draw fire?
"Sure Ms. B"
"Can you draw it on my board?"
"Sure"
"All right. Take the whole period if you like. Fill it up."

This did raise a lot of questions as I tried to teach class and he cheerfully drew flames on the board behind me. So at the end of the period I let the 8th graders in on the joke. They apparently are as sadistic as I am and thought it a wonderful plan.

My 6th graders came in the door as the reading class exited and we began business as usual. Funny looks exchanged all around, but no one dared open their mouth about it.

We went through warm-ups and had even sang a song before a brave soul finally raised her hand. (which was an accomplishment in and of itself with this particular class, believe me!)

"Um, Ms. B? Why is there...fire on your board?"

Without missing a beat, I simply replied

"Oh that? Well, I thought I'd multi-task today and do both my jobs at once."

As the culprit sank in her seat with cheeks as red as the flames on the board, we continued on singing. Most of the students didn't understand what I had said, but I only needed her to. I didn't have to yell, pull her aside, or embarrass her at all to get my point across. It just took a little creativity. And you know what? She didn't give me any trouble for the rest of the year.

Guess that young teacher wasn't so naive after all.