I've had at least 4 people in the last week come up to me at church or send me a message saying "I stumbled onto your blog the other day"
It's a bit disconcerting.
After all, when I'm semi-anonymous it's "safe" to write all of this stuff. And yes, my boyfriend reads this blog (hi honey!) and a handful of friends do as well, but it still seemed "safe".
And then tonight I was singing on the worship team at church, filling in for my very preggo friend Jes who just wasn't up to the task (understandably--she IS nearly ready to deliver!). And Randy, our worship minister, introduced a song that he recently wrote. It's all about dropping the facade, being authentic, and letting even the ugly parts show.
And I realized that's what I do on this blog. I'm "inside out", as the song says, and I'm just me...and that's ok.
So here I am...
a girl who was once afraid--terrified--to love
a woman that disagrees fundamentally with her current church's position on "women in the church"
one who often lets a curse word slip (sometimes even here in written form!)
who has taken a quote from her favorite Ellen/Gladys conversation to heart: "I love Jesus, but I drink a little"
who is broken and blessed, all at the same time
who, as much as she has fought against it and tried to take it back, has left a little piece of herself in a small, southern Indiana farmtown
who is madly in love with Jesus
who likes to write about her thoughts, both frivilous and semi-deep
who would love to lose the 20 or so pounds that crept on when her former ED self began to actually enjoy food
and who has determined
that this blog
will be 100%
That's what you've got. And everyday I'm humbled and amazed that several of you seem to enjoy reading what I have to say. What began as a creative outlet has led me to so many friendships and opened my eyes to new worlds.
And this girl? Isn't going anywhere. So no matter if I've known you since middle school (hi Angie!), am dating you, go to church with you, have met you through an online voice somewhere, or any of the categories in between...I'm glad you're here to share this part of my journey with me. It's a bumpy road, this Life, but I'm blessed beyond measure to have people like you in my path.