Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I'm Just Me

I've had at least 4 people in the last week come up to me at church or send me a message saying "I stumbled onto your blog the other day"

It's a bit disconcerting.

After all, when I'm semi-anonymous it's "safe" to write all of this stuff. And yes, my boyfriend reads this blog (hi honey!) and a handful of friends do as well, but it still seemed "safe".

And then tonight I was singing on the worship team at church, filling in for my very preggo friend Jes who just wasn't up to the task (understandably--she IS nearly ready to deliver!). And Randy, our worship minister, introduced a song that he recently wrote. It's all about dropping the facade, being authentic, and letting even the ugly parts show.

And I realized that's what I do on this blog. I'm "inside out", as the song says, and I'm just me...and that's ok.

So here I am...

a girl who was once afraid--terrified--to love
a woman that disagrees fundamentally with her current church's position on "women in the church"
one who often lets a curse word slip (sometimes even here in written form!)
who has taken a quote from her favorite Ellen/Gladys conversation to heart: "I love Jesus, but I drink a little"
who is broken and blessed, all at the same time
who, as much as she has fought against it and tried to take it back, has left a little piece of herself in a small, southern Indiana farmtown
who is madly in love with Jesus
who likes to write about her thoughts, both frivilous and semi-deep
who would love to lose the 20 or so pounds that crept on when her former ED self began to actually enjoy food
and who has determined
that this blog
will be 100%
authentically
totally
REAL

That's what you've got. And everyday I'm humbled and amazed that several of you seem to enjoy reading what I have to say. What began as a creative outlet has led me to so many friendships and opened my eyes to new worlds.

I'm grateful.

And this girl? Isn't going anywhere. So no matter if I've known you since middle school (hi Angie!), am dating you, go to church with you, have met you through an online voice somewhere, or any of the categories in between...I'm glad you're here to share this part of my journey with me. It's a bumpy road, this Life, but I'm blessed beyond measure to have people like you in my path.


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19 comments:

Transparent Mama said...

I love this post. It is a little vulnerable to be so openly authentic, but it feels good too, doesn't it? I am convinced that Jesus is in this blogging thing. Thanks for coming by to see me. Great to meet you.

Bethany said...

Aw, sweet post Lora. I've had the same thing happen recently- my mom, her two friends, one of my best friends...they've all discovered my blog. Sigh. I've been trying really hard not to let it change the way I blog, but it's hard!!

Tabitha@ichoosebliss said...

*Gives you a standing Ovation*

Debbie said...

I had someone walk up to me and say she read my blog. I almost fell over. It is disconcerting, isn't it?

...Mrs. Southern Bride... said...

What a wonderful post! I love the honesty!

Stopped in from SITS.

Jaycee said...

Indiana, huh? My husband's from Seymour. ;-) I totally understand about the nervousness. I'm doubly paranoid because I'm a teacher. What if my students discover my blog? Aaaaahhhhh!!!

The Redhead Riter said...

You never know who is reading which IS a little spooky

Stopping by from SITs

Enjoy a Tremendous Thursday!!!

Brooke said...

sometimes being real is hard, but its so important. if we act like we always have it together, then people aren't going to be able to relate to us - cause no one always has it together!!

HappyascanB said...

Oh, Lora, this is beautiful. And So true. I've recently had a hard time writing b/c I am afraid to be too transparent on some issues. But this reminds me that I should be. You Rock!!!

foxy said...

Wow - what a great post. A lot of those things could describe me too! It's nice to be able to really let it out, I think.

Thanks for stopping by my place... I'll be coming back here!

Little Rus said...

Great post, so open and sincere.

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

Have a lovely weekend!

x

JanMary said...

Great post. Happy Sharefest Saturday from N Ireland.

Although I want my blog to be real, as now both my Dad and my Pastor read my blog, it does influence what I do and more importantly DO NOT blog about - for example if I have bought some great new underwear I am NOT going to share that with them!

I think my dh finds the rest of it a bit more disconcerting, when someone comes up to him in church as asks how he enjoyed that new chicken recipe I blogged about that week!

Laura said...

Wow.
Exactly.

Rachel Cotterill said...

My blog is about as far from anonymous as you could get - but I still feel a bit weird whenever someone I know in real life starts reading it.

Christine said...

Delighted to have found you! I'm looking forward to exploring a little more, because my journey in blogging, like you, is all about being my authentic self, and discovering parts of myself I didn't otherwise know. It's amazing isn't it, how it helps? How the sharing becomes the key to the knowing. Good for you for being brave and for keeping it real.

cjschlottman said...

You are a lovely writer and an honest one. That's quite a good combination, I think. I love this post.

As for people reading my blog, the more the merrier. I, like you, believe in my own truths and am not afraid to share them with the world.

Ronnica said...

Though I don't hide my blog whatsoever from people I know in real-life, it still feels odd to me when a friend or someone at church says they've been by my blog. In many ways, I'm more open there than I am in person...at least in cursory conversations. I'm working on righting that imbalance in my life.

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

Congrats on being the BON over at WOW. You've done a great job here and put it all out there! It is always enjoyable to read honest to goodness content from real people. I keep my own blog on the light side but I love to read all kinds of blogs. I do always keep it real and honest and I like my reading the same way. Thoroughly enjoyed visiting you today.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Congrats on your BON day. Interesting that so many people would find your blog all at once! Good for you for keeping it real.