I now understand how awful of a feeling that is. I'm at 3 months now. OVER 3 months if we're counting, but I find that too depressing. And while I have complete faith and trust in the One who holds my future, those "something better is up ahead" sentiments are sounding kind of hollow. So as I hugged my friend tight this morning after she gave me the news and said "I'll be praying so hard for you" and she echoed the same...I knew that it was genuine. I don't doubt for a moment that my friends love me and have been praying all this time...but at the same time, there's solidarity in knowing that you really AREN'T alone.
And at the same time, today was a wonderful day of hope as well. A reminded me of that as we were praying together. You see, once a year, our church does this day called Harvest Sunday. The week before we get a shopping list of items for a Thanksgiving meal. We buy the food (about $20 worth), fill a paper double-bag, and bring it forward. At the end of the three services we have hundreds of bags lining the stage. The middle school students (and us lucky middle school lifeguards) sort the bags on Sunday afternoon, and they go to families in the community from now until Thanksgiving
It's a wonderful thing. And even though I have very little money this year, I filled up my bag. A and I went shopping on Tuesday together. It was a sweet time. :0) And for me it was a promise that no matter how bad things get I'll still reach out. I'll still do what I can. And next year, if I am employed (and let's hope!) I will be filling up at least 2 bags in gratitude for what I've been given.
I found this prayer at http://www.catholicdoors.com/prayers/index.htm. I'm praying it as I copy it to my blog, and I hope you'll pray it for me, my friend M, and my friend G as you read.
Prayer for the Unemployed
Dear Lord Jesus Christ,
You wanted all who are weary
To come to You for support.
Lord, I am worn out
By my inability to find work.
Guide my steps to a righteous path;
Give me the patience
To find opportunities with a future.
Calm my worries and fears
As my financial responsibilities mount.
Strengthen my resolve;
Embolden my heart to open doors;
Open my eyes to see life beyond rejections.
Help me believe in me.
Let me realize other ways
To bring about Your kingdom on earth.
Let me grow as a person
That I may be worthy
For Your greater glory.
In the name of the Father.