you'll pardon this slight reference to LOST..

Whatever happened, happened.


Ah, Eloise.

the character who seemingly is privy to the most information
utters the most infuriatingly simple phrase
over
and over

"whatever happened, happened."

and that infuriatingly simple phrase
has become a comfort to me somehow over the last few days.

you see, i know Someone who is privy to all the information
more than i will ever know
and i've entrusted my future to Him

and through the chaos that has threatened in the last week and a half
i have remained calm
because

what happened, happened
and i can't do anything to change it
(even if i tried, i might set off another bomb)

all i can do is weigh my options for the future
and trust that One who knows all.

while i'm still not ready to divulge any specific information
please know that i'm doing ok
i really am
i have teary moments
and moments of frustration

but shame, guilt, anguish, and heartache
those have stayed away
and that's because so many of you are praying

please continue those prayers
i should find out the information tomorrow that will set me spinning off in one direction or another
and after i've processed
i'll share here.

i love you all
and i'm sorry i've been absent on your blogs
that will change

...processing...