sometimes the teacher learns...confidence

about 70% of my piano students have special needs
a few of them are autistic
those of you with experience across the spectrum will know that no two of them are alike in their mannerisms and behaviors

however, they can all learn
and most of them thrive when learning piano

one of these students, J, came in today
he is in 7th grade, limited vocabulary, not prone to aggression or acting out
and his "comfort" when he plays is having my hand lightly touching his wrist

this comes from the first few lessons we had together where i would hold his hand and literally show him where to press the keys
he doesn't need it anymore
he reads incredibly well
his ear training is off the charts
(he can transpose flawlessly)
but as much as i've tried to wean him off having my hand touching his
he still insists on it for at least a couple of songs per lesson

today was a little different
after playing over half the lesson with little to no assistance from me
he reached for my hand and i obliged
putting two fingers lightly underneath his wrist as he played the song
and then all of a sudden
he grabbed my hand, placed my finger on the keys and started playing
using my finger

it's a good sign, actually
that he's trying to transfer knowledge
that he's confident in himself
and my heart swelled a little with the realization that he truly gets it

i think i got a teeny tiny glimpse into how God's heart swells
when one of His children gets it

when we stop waiting for a crutch, for a comfort
(although the comfort of God and Holy Spirit is amazing and wonderful and ever-present)
and confidently step out in faith
knowing full well we are doing exactly the right thing

when we stop relying on a feeling
and instead rest in the promise
when we grab God's hand a little tighter
and take off in a sprint

i was SO proud of J today
and i have this feeling that God felt the same thing for me :)

(written on wednesday, 2.2.2011)