craigslist, etc

i've spent a lot of time on craigslist this week

(ps, my car is totaled)

(pps, i'm a little angry at this point that the jerk/coward/insert other words who hit and totaled it sped away and most likely got away with it)

anyway, there's a lot to laugh at on craigslist. ever noticed that?

here's a few gems from my search tonight.

there's the run on sentence ads

hello i have a 2004 softail custom have invested over 30k in this bike i love this bike but am ready to do some traveling and need some where to tote the old ladies crap..lol this bike had custom wheels 21 front and a 18 rear a 250/40/18 rear tire it also has a rev tech 100ci motor and a revtech 6 speed tranny and a 3 inch open primary this bike is a dalily driver when i can fins the time and has less than 5k miles on this bike custom paint and custom bars have been in some shows and always came out a winner it truley a real head turner color is black with lite purple tribal ghost flames bike was dyno out and has 96 hp and 96 f/p of touqre at the rear wheel this bike is a blast to ride im looking to trade for a good road king or a street glide no junk because this bike is far from junk

the witty

Bags of cotton velvet scraps. good for crafting; making crazy quilts, if you are crazy enough to try that. That was my goal, but not likely to happen-not to go crazy, but to make that quilt.

the yelling/overenthusiastic ad

1995 FORD CONTOUR V6 (WILL NOT START MUST BE TOWED!!!!!) AUTOMATIC LEATHER AND ALL POWER OPTIONS> THIS RAN UNTIL A FEW DAYS AGO IT TURNS OUT THE WIRES ARE ALL ROTTEN AND WILL HAVE TO BE REPLACED OR USE IT FOR PARTS I AM THE SECOND OWNER AND THIS CAR IS CLEAN AND WELL TAKEN CARE OF MOTOR IS STRONG TRANSMISSION IS STRONG I LOVE THIS CAR ITS VERY FUN TO DRIVE ALL WHEEL ABS DISC BRAKES FRONT AND BACK FULLY INDEPENDANT SUSPENSION DRIVER SEAT NEEDS RECOVERING ALL OTHER INTERIOR PARTS ARE PERFECT!!!!! SORRY i DONT HAVE A WAY TO POST PICTURES IF YOU NEED PARTS JUST CALL ME AT 6154 NINE FIVE FIVE SEVEN FIVE ZERO ANYTIME JASON

(i left that phone number in because there are way too many digits...)

the bomb-drop after you get excited about the car

2000 Volkswagen Jetta VR6
155,000 Miles
Leather Interior/ Heated Seats/ Sunroof / CD/ AM/FM /Power Everything
Looks PERFECT -- however, the engine will not turn over. Had mechanic check it out, motor needs to be replaced.

Call me if you have any questions --
Barry 615 000-0000

the read several times before you understand...

I have two wingback chairs burgandy and biege slim stripes . And I also have a sette that has burgandy,beige silky wide stripes it is so cute asking 65.00 For all three pieces 135.00.e-mail or call 615-000-0000. THANKYOU FOR LOOKING!! or 615-000-0000 on wed.s

the buy your own instant garage sale

$75.00 for five boxes stuffed with value. Great working Magnovox vhs/dvd player + remote, toaster, kitchen supplies, VHS tapes, shoes (some new), great working Dewalt drill with two batteries and charger, Altec Lansing speaker that work great, kids shoes, coats, etc... Everything is on a cart ready to roll out. This stuff will go fast. I will not split anything up. ONLY SOME OF THE STUFF IS SHOWN $75.00 obo

the...wait a second

Need "little People" Musicians, must really play. Funded project. Be able to travel, have passport or ability to get one. Fun comic/music gig. Too much to tell here... gotta keep it undercover for now. No exploitation involved. Serious inquiries only, must be over 21. Needing 1-guitarist, 1bassist, 1-drummer, 1-keyboard player (this position can be a taller person) Singing ability a big plus, quick studies needed. Need to have a team player attitude, no drugs or drunks, must have all health issues under control. This is gonna be as much fun as it is profitable for the entire team. If you are this type entertainer or know of some people please get in touch. The actual rehearsals will take place in the most convenient area to most of the members. There will be compensation during rehearsal as well

.

the many misspellings in a short space

I need fish inside or outside please tex or call me at 615-000-0000
or any aqriums and rocks ty and god bless

the jobs i would never take

Needing women that are height and weight proportionate and comfortable with being nude with and in front of other people. We are putting on an adult rated haunted house for the month of October, 4 days a week with the final week being 7 days. This is a unique opportunity and awesome potential to make a large sum of money and that will be discussed upon answering this ad.

and the just plain...weird.

Awesome real cowhide rug
full size aprox 7 1/2 ft long
Bought for well over double what I am selling it for, but I moved and ran out of rooms!
black and white print