provision

it just doesn't make sense to people

and i KNOW that

and sometimes it's frustrating to attempt to explain to people

even some of my Christian friends who aren't called to the same life of exuberant faith that i have been

(and there is nothing wrong with that--they are called to other things that i'm not)

but money?

i'm not worried about it

which makes NO sense

to anyone who knows my circumstances

God is teaching me that HE and He alone provides my every need

provision

under the best and worst of circumstances

yes, i "lost" my house

but i truly felt that it was a release

a hurtful one at moments

but a release, nonetheless.

i have bills to pay

that i have no earthly idea how they will be paid

but that's just it--earthly ideas don't get me very far

He knows how it will happen

and while sometimes i wonder it people think i'm just sitting around on my butt

waiting

(and in a sense, that's what i'm doing--the waiting part at least

i work my butt off doing all kinds of odd jobs)

*i* know

that every time something is due that is crucial

somehow,

some way

the funds come through

and yeah,

dave ramsey would not be thrilled with my approach

(or maybe he would--

i have a feeling that he understands what it is to live in faith that God will provide)

and it doesn't follow his "program"

which i very much respect

and have many friends who have used it to eliminate debt from their lives

that program

that mindset

is not what i'm called to right now

i don't know why

i don't know for how long

but i know

trusting in Jehovah Jireh--the God who provides

is what i am called to

always

and especially right now

complete and utter faith that HE will work things out?

it's an amazing place to be

i don't know why He chose me to live this way

but i am so, so grateful

because the pure, unadulterated JOY that is a part of this?

is absolutely intoxicating.