but i choose love

this morning i awoke
to one of my absolute least favorite things

.d.r.a.m.a.

in the form of facebook
and things being revealed in a hurtful way
someone choosing to air grievances publically
choosing to act out of anger
out of hurt
out of shame

not caring
(or perhaps caring in the wrong way)
in the moment they hit "post"
how their words would impact a pretty large group of people.

i was alerted to the situation by a text from my love
and spent the first few waking moments of my day in a state of surprise and a bit of anger

and then i paused for a moment
and remembered

i get to choose the way i react to this situation
just as the person who created the situation got to chose how they handled it
and just because i don't like their choice
doesn't mean that i have to make an equally wrong choice.

ah, what freedom.

i choose to love
i choose to remember that this person is acting out of a place of deep woundedness.
i choose to reflect on the days when i would have chosen similarly
i choose to love

does making this choice make the situation go away?
does it make that person stop feeling the hurt they so obviously are in?
does it change any of the words that were hurled out so publically?

no.
but that's ok.

i choose to love
when it's inconvenient
i choose to love
when it's unfair
i choose to love
when it has to be a deliberate decision
i choose to love
with the best of me, not the leftovers

i choose to love
whether or not i feel in the moment that you are deserving of it

i get to choose
and i choose love