dear.9

dear kraft foods:

this may be america, but that is most definitely not my cheese.  or "cheese food" as the packaging says.

signed,

one who isn't buying that commercial

dear finn:


you are so sweet, cute and adorable.  however, taking off both your pants and diaper first thing in the morning...while still in your bed?  not so charming.  funny.  but not so charming.


signed,
thankful it was just wet...

dear cable company:

i have been your advocate for the last 5 years.  when others complained about crappy customer service and bad experiences, i stated i'd never had a problem with you.

well, not so much anymore.  since april, i've faithfully paid my bill every month, and you've faithfully cut off my service every month.  come to find out (shocker) you screwed up in the first place.  and from july through the end of september i've been calling every week to try to figure out when you're going to fix the problem.  and let's not mention the number of times you've cut my service off in that process.

pretty much, i hate you right now.  save that one nice person i talked to last week who gave me her personal extension and days/hours she works.  believe me, i'll deal with her from now on.  except when you cut my service off in the middle of the night like you did tonight...

please restore my faith in the system and just STOP CUTTING ME OFF when i'm freaking paying you.  the end.

signed,

if i wasn't sharing space with someone else i'd have SO cut you off by now

dear cancer


would you just back off my friends please?


signed
tired of you

dear fall weather,

could we make a deal and YOU just stick around til spring?

signed,

loving these cool breezes

dear social networking,


i can barely keep up with facebook and twitter...and gave up myspace loooong ago.  now there's something called foursquare, not to mention skype...what?!  

but seriously, i'd like the job that controls the twitter and facebook accounts for a company.  i mean, seriously -- how do you get hooked up with that one?!

signed,
i was late to the twitter party, so expect me at skype in 2014