But I think a little lightheartedness is due on this blog!
So...
Ten Things that Make Me Laugh
1. Kids. They always say the funniest things.
(one of my favorite nannying moments was when the 2 year old told the restaurant hostess: "Lora needs some wine")
2. The $3.99 lazer pointer I bought for the cat to play with. Hi-larious.
3. Family Guy. Yeah, Anthony has me addicted.
4. Old episodes of Friends. When I'm feeling down, all I have to do is pop in one a dvd of Friends and life seems good again.
5. Girlfriends.
6. The woman I'm acting as caretaker for. I had to help her pick out a bra the other day (she found out I used to work at VS). She's always telling me things that make me giggle. Sometimes out loud...sometimes inside.
7. Teaching stories. My own, others. You can't make this stuff up!
8. My "skills" at certain video games. I LOVE playing, but I'm not necessarily "good". A indulges me. I'm determined to get to a level where I don't feel dumb playing with him all the time!
9. Myself. Soooo many crazy things happen to me on a semi-regular basis. I'm going to post a story I shared with my email friends a few years ago at the end of this.
10. blogs. There are some blogs that I go to regularly just for the humor within. And often leave with some pretty powerful thoughts too--some of you have such a gift for writing with humor and making us see beyond the surface.
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Blast from the past:
I'm all about being an independent single woman.
And bugs? Bugs don't freak me out. Not really.
After all, I'm the one who made the rule at camp that if it's not bigger than your fist you're not allowed to scream. Bugs surprise me sometimes, and I'm not necessarily thrilled with them (especially the spiders who crawl up my drainpipe to die in my shower), but I'm not *scared* of them, and I'll take the necessary steps to eliminate them even if that's flushing them or spraying them with windex repeatedly.
BUT.
As I was grinding my coffee beans last night, as is my routine, Emi came into the kitchen and meowed while looking longingly at her food corner. This normally means she's out of something, and sure enough I noticed her water dish was low. I filled up a glass and when I bent down to fill the dish my eyes traveled to her food dish.
Now, I've been working in the garden a LOT lately, and mistakenly have left the door open to the patio a lot. The patio is off the kitchen.
Nestled in the corner of her food dish was a slimy looking gray...something.
I freaked.
Seriously.
And then figured out by careful (and faraway) inspection that it was a slug.
Now...my dad would have poured salt on it and thoroughly enjoyed it. I employed the help of a broom to first knock it off Emi's food dish. Then I shuddered and said "ew, ew, ew, ew, ew" I grabbed my garden shovel, but realized I didn't want to get close enough to scoop it up to throw it outside, and then if I DID throw it outside wouldn't I run into it again? So I shuddered again and said "ew, ew, ew, ew, ew". (which sounded more like "euhhhhhh" since I was thoroughly disgusted!) Finally I employed the cup trick. I grabbed a disposable cup from my "party" stash,{note: this was Lora's "pre-green phase"} and very carefully placed it over the top of the nasty little creature. My hope was that it would die under there (admittedly, cruel) before I slipped a piece of paper under it to scoop it up.
So tonight, after I got home from yoga I did just that--using a Geico advertisement. The last I saw of the slug it was in a trash bag which has been put in the outside garbage. I didn't take a long enough look to see if it was still alive...
So...THIS is why I need to get married.
But in the meantime, I'm taking applications for the immediate vacancy of "Gross Creatures Eliminator" at my house. Any takers?
and to make it better, this was one of the responses:
Lora,
Sorry about your near death experience but not at all disappointed to hear about the death of your slug. Just as a point of reference, when we lived in Washington you never went outside at night barefooted. Why, you may ask? Because out there they grow slugs the size of small bananas. I guess that’s why they are called banana slugs. Guess you’ll keep your doors shut tight from now on.
Love,
Kathryne
Sooo...what makes you laugh these days? Share please!
3 comments:
Hysterical!!! That slug story is awesome! I'd have definitely been like your dad, though. Love watching them disappear with salt! Like you, kids make me laugh! And, just a few minutes ago, I ran home for lunch and saw my sister at a 4-way stop. We just sat there staring at each other for a few seconds. Finally, she waved and I did, too! I got tickled b/c there was a 3rd car at the 4-way just waiting on one of us to go!!! I'm sure that lady thought we were both lunatics!!!
Love the slug story - so funny!
Kids definitely make me laugh, especially the one's I work with!
Also, the laser for cats is hilarious - G's dad has one I spent like 2 hours just playing with the cat with it.
LOL, that's an awesome slug story. I hear you for LOTS of that list, btw. Kids, Friends episodes, girlfriends, blogs...
and the laser pointer sounds pretty funny too! Emi must love that.
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