Wednesday's Walk

Wednesday's Walk

You know, Tennessee has some CRAZY weather.
When I first came to TN I didn't realize that no one here *really* knew how to drive in snow and ice. No problem (so I thought) it doesn't happen here often. Well...I definitely underestimated the IDEA of snow and ice.

One winter's night our freshman year, the forecast called for snow...and ice. And yes, we even saw a flurry or two. However, after a busy night of watching tv and mindless chatter studying, the four of us decided that indeed we needed some ice cream. And we could all hear Maggie Moo's calling to us.

Now, Maggie's closes around 9. We weren't worried though, it was 8 pm and the shop was approximately 15 minutes away in Green Hills.

Well...traffic was insane. And when we got to Green Hills we discovered that everyone had closed early because of the snow! We were sorely disappointed, but decided to go with our backup plan: Sonic. Which was literally less than a mile from our dorm's front door
.
(While we were out, one of the girls' moms called and fussed at commended us for getting out in the weather. Which made me laugh. There WAS NO WEATHER!)

Plan B. We were NOT happy. A milkshake from Sonic was quite inferior to our original dream of cinnamoo, or vanilla with an add-in...

How many times does my life take a Plan B route? And how many times has God heard me complain about how inferior Plan B is when it really was His original plan all along?

I wonder.

Wednesday's Walk -- my Journey to the Ridge

Today's memory is pretty simple. It's the moment I fell in love with Radnor Lake and Cheekwood Botanical Gardens, both close to where I live in Nashville.

I mentioned in my last post that there were 4 women from my church who were instrumental in my recovery. At their suggestion, I took a "personal retreat" for 3 days in June of 2005. I stayed at one of their houses so that I wouldn't have MY house to distract me, I stayed off my phone (SO hard) and off the internet. It was a time of drawing closer to God and learning more about myself.

On many levels I hated it, but it was exactly what I needed.

The first day I went to Radnor Lake. Honestly, I had lived here for 6 years at that point and I don't think I had ever visited before.

Now, it's important to remember that even though I was at a healthy weight I was NOT healthy. I was eating a very small amount of calories per day, and working most of those calories off. So I decided that this would be a great place to hike off the meager lunch I had eaten. I also chose the most strenuous path in the place--Garnier Ridge.

I shouldn't have. I wasn't in a good place physically and there was no one else on the path. Although I never got dangerously close to an edge, or blacked out walking (as I often did those days) the thought crossed my mind that I could pass out, hit my head on a rock, and it would take HOURS for someone to find me.

It was the first time I ever thought "I could die out here."

It was part of the turning point that my 4 friends and confidantes had prayed for. By realizing that I could die out there it finally hit home that my addiction could actually kill me. I, of course, knew that. In my head. But that was the first time my heart realized the truth.

Before the hike up the Ridge

I'm thrilled to report that I've returned to Radnor many times since that first visit. And I can now confidently hike the ridge without that awful feeling. Recovery has been amazing!

I'm not going to write a whole lot about Cheekwood, except to say that the day I went was a heat advisory day. No one was supposed to be out if they could help it. Which was actually kind of nice. First of all, I was always cold, so it felt great to me! Secondly, I got to enjoy the solace of my favorite spot of Cheekwood by myself. The Japanese water garden...is amazing.

The path leading there

A view of the garden--it was built to be enjoyed from the viewing pavilion, so I made sure to take pictures from that vantage point

part of the "outskirts" of the garden. I have this thing for walkways, roads...