...mic check...1...2...

what would i say about the months of silence?
well, nothing. 
what would i tell you about the things i haven't said in those months?
well, plenty

i would say that the payment i get in hugs and smiles and oh yeah illnesses ;-) far outweigh any paycheck i could ever receive

i would say that i never imagined that working in a preschool setting would be so rewarding

i would say that A and i are happier when the house is tidy. i would also say that when one of us is sick, it becomes a lot harder to keep tidy. we definitely work as a team around here, and i adore that

i would say that grown adults who know better can be vindictive and attempt to steal your joy because of their own bitterness all while wearing a sugary smile and proclaiming their love for Jesus
{i could write an entire series on the southern facade that i.desperately.hate. just be real for crying out loud. yanks have that one over southerners hands down}

i would say that only you can let someone steal your joy
{in other words, neener-neener, aforementioned person didn't win ;-) }

i would say that car shopping when you HAVE to car shop isn't as exciting as it seems to be
{moment of silence for lora's amazing passat...it finally died last month. and i have shed more than a couple of tears.}

i would say that fresh flowers in the house brighten my mood immensely. fresh flowers that my husband pick out for me just intensify that!

i would say that i fall more in love with texas each time i visit 
{year 2 for going on a missions trip to a children's home in the hill country. heart partially there}

i would say that getting your garden planted two months {two MONTHS} late just means a longer harvest period
{fingers crossed}

i would say that the God-encounters that you allow yourself to be aware of are more amazing that you could ever come up with by any stretch of your imagination

i would say that i have wanted to come type out long versions of each of these snippets and felt a block of some sort.  so for now they are snippets.  fuller versions on request...or as i have the time to tell them

but really, it doesn't matter what i have to say about the months between january and july.  we did a lot of living during those months.  times spent with great friends, playing board games, crashing on the couch to watch movies, having family over and A *finally* getting his youngest sister and i to watch the LOTR trilogy, taking time for a date night or two, celebrating my birthday and hosting gatherings for each of our best friend's birthdays, A speaking for the first time at our church plant...and there were also tears and hurt, and pain, and stress and confusion and wondering if we had made the right decisions about several things.

and that's life.

the next six months will hold much of the same, and i await it all expectantly.

life without pain means you forget to feel.  because of tears, i feel joy more radically.

i'm not going to make any promises i can't keep. but my desire is to be here, to be real, to live life authentically in this tiny blip in the internet where i get to have my real voice.

so for the good, for the bad, for all the lovely moments in between...here i am.

oh, and if you take the time to be sweet and comment please include what you drive and why you love it. did i mention car shopping is a pain?!


xoxo

thursday's ten: in your car

i don't know about you, but i totally struggle with either not having what i need in my car...or it looking like a tornado has swirled around the interior.
please tell me you have these issues!
however, i'm determined to spend a little time this weekend organizing the space
and making it functional.
(i'll be back to post pictures if it works out well!)





so.  based on what i already know as well as a couple of tips i've seen on the rachael ray show this week, here's my list of 10 things that will stay in my car. (note * for items already in the car)

1.  first aid kit*  (my car actually has shelf space in the trunk for this.  nope, not kidding.)
2.  a blanket* (i'm a good indiana girl, and know to keep a blanket in the car in case of stalling in winter weather.  plus it comes in handy for the impromptu picnic)
3.  a catch-all basket, small* (in this i keep an extra pair of sunglasses, my coupon book for nashville, an umbrella, extra feminine products, ipod charger when not in use, packing tape for trips to the PO,  sleeves for coffee, baby wipes for cleaning spills or people ;-) and a few other random things)
4.  yoga mat* and workout clothes (the first is a given.  the second is something i've meant to do several times, but after seeing it on the RR show the other day am determined to do.  i'll just keep my tennis shoes in the trunk and have a bag with extra clothes in it for a quick hike, run, etc.)
5.  an emergency toiletries kit (i saw this on the show and LOVED the idea.  deoderant, makeup, tweezers, razors, maybe even shampoo/conditioner and an extra toothbrush. if i ever find myself spending the night at a friends house i'm good to go!  plus i have TONS of random cosmetic bags.  it would be nice to put some of them to use!)
6.  my green bags* (i do keep them in the car when i think about it, but i need to make more of an effort to make sure i have a few before i go shopping anywhere!)
7.  cds.  (i have a few in the car now, and i love listening to pandora on my phone while driving.  however, i have these great cd books that need to be put to good use!)
8.  a sigg bottle* (for those extra runs, or just to keep hydrated.  the only problem with this is summer heat in tn...gotta figure out a way to keep a bottle in the car and keep it from boiling, ha.)
9.  a kid-friendly tote (i love to do random art projects or baking with kids when i babysit, so it would be nice to carry a few extra beads for necklace making, cookie cutters, or other things that parents wouldn't necessarily have on hand)
10.  some sort of (very small) trash/recycling system. (currently i use plastic shopping bags...but i can't STAND how trashy that looks.  even getting a couple of those cheap little "cubes" you use for storage would be better!)

so.  what would you add in your car?  or subtract for that matter?

a year in review, 2010

little did i know when i did a similar post last year what would happen in 2010. it's been a CRAZY year!

january
i perfected a bloody mary recipe, i ran a wild 5k and subsequently injured myself the next day and it finally snowed in nashville! (and i took pictures)

february
we had an amazing and sweet valentines day with amazing flowers, and then...well, life kind of started exploding...and not in a great way.  it was mid-february that anthony's granddaddy entered the hospital with some sort of unknown (at the time) pain

march
anthony's granddaddy passed away only a few days after discovering that he had stage 4 cancer. i celebrated my birthday (anthony gave me a wii!) and found out that the mortgage company had made a huge error...

april
God remained ever faithful -- that seemed to be the theme of this month.  i got the official word that i had lost my house, and i had 10 days to move out.  and that's when the CRAZY God-stuff began happening. anthony's sister got baptized at church on the last day we were moving me out.  i was the featured WOW blogger one day. i had a massive asthma...event...among other things...and ended up in the ER and staying in the hospital overnight. i was thankful to see the calendar change from april to may until...

may
the first weekend in may, nashville flooded.
one of my best friends in indiana got married and i was in the wedding, anthony had his first published article, i spent a fantastic weekend in the gatlinburg area with my suitemates from college.

june
i spent a long weekend in delaware with laura and izzy, started a new summer nanny gig with two precious kids, i wrote a little about provision and other deeper subjects

july
God signed me up for a fantastic retreat weekend (no, really), anthony's grandma passed away, about 20 minutes after her graveside service my car was totaled when it was parked on the street -- hit and run, i headed to the beach for a whirlwind trip with some girlfriends
 
august
i began working for my friends as a nanny to their sweet little boy, we traveled to kansas city and loved our time with family there, i replaced my car

september
this was the month of CRAZY weekends!  we went to st louis with friends, had a retreat with the youth group,  we went to holiday world, i went to arkansas with natasha.

october
i attended an awesome prophetic conference where i actually was on a team that GAVE prophetic words...amazing, i got pretty real on the blog

november
i took the time to finally write out how God has orchestrated my every move for the last 2.5 years, we continued our tradition of visiting the christmas village, we found out a favorite nashville store was closing

december
we got not one but TWO white christmases!  we visited my family in indiana for our first christmas in mid-december...and it snowed.  and it snowed here christmas eve and christmas day which was a lovely thing.  it hadn't snowed here on christmas since anthony's childhood!  i joined a wonderful cell group of Spirit-filled and amazing girls.  december was pretty much a blur and i didn't blog very much of it...but that just means i was out living it :)

so 2010.  it was a very interesting year.  what a range we've been through!  heartache, loss, love, provision, abundance, and just crazy things!  i think i'll look back on 2010 as one of the best years of my life, as strange as that sounds.  yes, i lost so much in the material sense.  but what i gained in return -- what God has blessed me with -- is so much better than anything i had before. 

i can't WAIT to see what He has for me -- for us -- in 2011.  if this year was this crazy and amazing...just wait.  buckle up, guys.  i have a feeling it's going to be one awesome ride!

...check the small things first...

so, you know i have this "new" car

and i'm loving it, truly

i've known for about a month that i need a new hose for the turbo

which the guy who sold me the car is working with me to replace

and while that means that the "malfunction" light is on

no biggie

(although i'll need to replace it by winter at least)

so the other day i noticed a couple of times when i would climb a hill the car would seem to struggle

which i thought was probably a side effect of no turbo

and when a warning light came on a couple of times

i looked it up

it was the "anti-slip regulatory" light

the light that warns you that the anti-slip system has somehow been turned off or compromised

it said it could be related to the engine, braking system, or tires

since i knew there was an engine problem

(the turbo)

i just assumed it was related

thursday the car was acting REALLY funny

like the light came on and stayed on

i could barely make it up ANY hill

and on my way down it would skid -- like it was acting like it was on ice

i was terrified

ter*ri*fied

and of course called the guy who sold it to me

panicking

and asking him to PLEASE bump up the time of repairing this

because

surely it was related

ahem

i was on the way to a babysitting job thursday evening

driving like a grandma

partly out of fright

mostly out of necessity (it wouldn't go very fast)

when a car pulled up next to me at a light, beeped

and the person inside began gesturing wildly

and mouthed the words

"your tire is flat!"

um.

that could definitely be the problem

and sure enough

i stopped at the next gas station

it was flat as a pancake

i filled it with air

and have not seen that light again

sigh.

check the small things, lora

check the small things.

(this can obviously be related to many things in life besides car stuff...i'll let you make your own correlations)

and her name shall be heidi

remember my list of wants in a car?

allow me to refresh your memory. and i'll add a bit of commentary (in green)

1. sunroof (or a convertible...haha)
done. combo moon and sunroof

2. a color that i love. this is different for me based on what kind of car it is, since different cars look good in different colors to me.
i didn't think i would...but the silver looks pretty awesome, i must say

3. i'm not picky about leather or cloth interior...but IF leather, then i must have heated seats
boy, do they ever heat. in fact, i forgot the other night to turn them off after i got home, and couldn't figure out the next day why the ac was running full blast and i was still warm...

4. good sound system (i'm not one of those lovely bass boomin' people at stoplights, but i do like to get in a groove)
so.much.better than any car i've had

5. a sporty look. please, please, no boring sedans. sedans with a sporty edge, sure.
sedan, with a sporty edge

6. good gas mileage. i'm not opposed to an SUV, i just want it to get decent mileage
not only does it get good gas mileage, it tells me at all times it's current gas mileage is, as well as an average of the "trip" you're on

7. lowish mileage. i drive a lot. i have family scattered all over. i'd like to get a few years out of the car.
it's relatively low for being the year that it is...and for the make/model, it's SO not a big deal

8. trunk access in a car (rear fold-down seats, preferably 60/40 split). suv, well that doesn't so much matter.
60/40, easy easy fold down

9. FUN to drive
OH yeah. in fact, anthony drove it this past weekend for the first time and didn't give me back the key for quite awhile! and it's a fun key too :)

10. a good value. i don't want to rip anyone off, but i certainly don't want to be ripped off either. i would prefer not to use my entire insurance settlement...i'd like a few hundred dollars leftover to stock away in savings for awhile.

i bought it at an auto broker for well under blue book. amazing, amazing deal.

so...wanna see her?
that german engineering is the reason for the german name
(and i've told a couple of friends that i feel like i need to put an irish flag decal on it so that i have both sides of my heritage represented!)
sorry the pic quality isn't that hot...but there you have it. a 2003 volkswagen passat...loaded...luxery...and mine
God is GOOD
(just in case you wondered)

and i...
am thrilled
:)

Thursday's Ten: the "new" car edition

ugh.

car shopping is exhausting.

it's especially exhausting when your car was 7 years old, and the payment from the insurance is reflective of that.

it's especially exhausting when you have little money of your own to couple with it...and when you don't at ALL want to go down the road of financing because the only dealers who will finance a recent foreclosure are going to be basically loan sharks (plus, you don't want a car payment. at all.)

sigh.

but then i remember that God has amazingly provided for me countless times this year

and so

why not now?

i remember texting some good friends that the car may be totaled, that i was really sad about that (Ali was my BABY), but that maybe this was God's way of saying "ok...now here's a new car".

and so i said "bring it!"

(still hopeful that i could have MY car back. but no, not this time)

i mean, really. in the last 4 months i've been stripped from the house that i loved and the car that i loved...and both were "taken" away. in the house's case, it was due to a humongous error on the mortgage company's part. in the car's, it was due to me parking on the street and the wrong person coming down the road to play tackle football with my car. yes, i played a part in both...yes, i can shoulder some of the blame in both cases. but in no way was either completely my fault.

which is kind of nice. no shame there.

SO.

since God is clearly up to something here

i'm making a list of what i'd like in a car. a couple of them are non-negotiables (the sunroof, for example. i seriously get a slight case of SAD when the time changes in the fall, and i NEED to have access to the sun). the others are just "what the heck. why not ask for this too?"

1. sunroof (or a convertible...haha)

2. a color that i love. this is different for me based on what kind of car it is, since different cars look good in different colors to me.

3. i'm not picky about leather or cloth interior...but IF leather, then i must have heated seats

4. good sound system (i'm not one of those lovely bass boomin' people at stoplights, but i do like to get in a groove)

5. a sporty look. please, please, no boring sedans. sedans with a sporty edge, sure.

6. good gas mileage. i'm not opposed to an SUV, i just want it to get decent mileage

7. lowish mileage. i drive a lot. i have family scattered all over. i'd like to get a few years out of the car.

8. trunk access in a car (rear fold-down seats, preferably 60/40 split). suv, well that doesn't so much matter.

9. FUN to drive

10. a good value. i don't want to rip anyone off, but i certainly don't want to be ripped off either. i would prefer not to use my entire insurance settlement...i'd like a few hundred dollars leftover to stock away in savings for awhile.

what would you add if you were me? (or you were looking)

craigslist, etc

i've spent a lot of time on craigslist this week

(ps, my car is totaled)

(pps, i'm a little angry at this point that the jerk/coward/insert other words who hit and totaled it sped away and most likely got away with it)

anyway, there's a lot to laugh at on craigslist. ever noticed that?

here's a few gems from my search tonight.

there's the run on sentence ads

hello i have a 2004 softail custom have invested over 30k in this bike i love this bike but am ready to do some traveling and need some where to tote the old ladies crap..lol this bike had custom wheels 21 front and a 18 rear a 250/40/18 rear tire it also has a rev tech 100ci motor and a revtech 6 speed tranny and a 3 inch open primary this bike is a dalily driver when i can fins the time and has less than 5k miles on this bike custom paint and custom bars have been in some shows and always came out a winner it truley a real head turner color is black with lite purple tribal ghost flames bike was dyno out and has 96 hp and 96 f/p of touqre at the rear wheel this bike is a blast to ride im looking to trade for a good road king or a street glide no junk because this bike is far from junk

the witty

Bags of cotton velvet scraps. good for crafting; making crazy quilts, if you are crazy enough to try that. That was my goal, but not likely to happen-not to go crazy, but to make that quilt.

the yelling/overenthusiastic ad

1995 FORD CONTOUR V6 (WILL NOT START MUST BE TOWED!!!!!) AUTOMATIC LEATHER AND ALL POWER OPTIONS> THIS RAN UNTIL A FEW DAYS AGO IT TURNS OUT THE WIRES ARE ALL ROTTEN AND WILL HAVE TO BE REPLACED OR USE IT FOR PARTS I AM THE SECOND OWNER AND THIS CAR IS CLEAN AND WELL TAKEN CARE OF MOTOR IS STRONG TRANSMISSION IS STRONG I LOVE THIS CAR ITS VERY FUN TO DRIVE ALL WHEEL ABS DISC BRAKES FRONT AND BACK FULLY INDEPENDANT SUSPENSION DRIVER SEAT NEEDS RECOVERING ALL OTHER INTERIOR PARTS ARE PERFECT!!!!! SORRY i DONT HAVE A WAY TO POST PICTURES IF YOU NEED PARTS JUST CALL ME AT 6154 NINE FIVE FIVE SEVEN FIVE ZERO ANYTIME JASON

(i left that phone number in because there are way too many digits...)

the bomb-drop after you get excited about the car

2000 Volkswagen Jetta VR6
155,000 Miles
Leather Interior/ Heated Seats/ Sunroof / CD/ AM/FM /Power Everything
Looks PERFECT -- however, the engine will not turn over. Had mechanic check it out, motor needs to be replaced.

Call me if you have any questions --
Barry 615 000-0000

the read several times before you understand...

I have two wingback chairs burgandy and biege slim stripes . And I also have a sette that has burgandy,beige silky wide stripes it is so cute asking 65.00 For all three pieces 135.00.e-mail or call 615-000-0000. THANKYOU FOR LOOKING!! or 615-000-0000 on wed.s

the buy your own instant garage sale

$75.00 for five boxes stuffed with value. Great working Magnovox vhs/dvd player + remote, toaster, kitchen supplies, VHS tapes, shoes (some new), great working Dewalt drill with two batteries and charger, Altec Lansing speaker that work great, kids shoes, coats, etc... Everything is on a cart ready to roll out. This stuff will go fast. I will not split anything up. ONLY SOME OF THE STUFF IS SHOWN $75.00 obo

the...wait a second

Need "little People" Musicians, must really play. Funded project. Be able to travel, have passport or ability to get one. Fun comic/music gig. Too much to tell here... gotta keep it undercover for now. No exploitation involved. Serious inquiries only, must be over 21. Needing 1-guitarist, 1bassist, 1-drummer, 1-keyboard player (this position can be a taller person) Singing ability a big plus, quick studies needed. Need to have a team player attitude, no drugs or drunks, must have all health issues under control. This is gonna be as much fun as it is profitable for the entire team. If you are this type entertainer or know of some people please get in touch. The actual rehearsals will take place in the most convenient area to most of the members. There will be compensation during rehearsal as well

.

the many misspellings in a short space

I need fish inside or outside please tex or call me at 615-000-0000
or any aqriums and rocks ty and god bless

the jobs i would never take

Needing women that are height and weight proportionate and comfortable with being nude with and in front of other people. We are putting on an adult rated haunted house for the month of October, 4 days a week with the final week being 7 days. This is a unique opportunity and awesome potential to make a large sum of money and that will be discussed upon answering this ad.

and the just plain...weird.

Awesome real cowhide rug
full size aprox 7 1/2 ft long
Bought for well over double what I am selling it for, but I moved and ran out of rooms!
black and white print

Thursday's Ten: things in the not-so happy category

i try to keep it positive around here, really i do.

but sometimes you just NEED to vent

so join me, won't you?

here's 10 things i'm less than thrilled about today:

1. that my car was the victim of a hit-and-run about 30 minutes after the graveside service on friday. no one in it, thankfully, but it's pretty banged up. i won't even get into the story.

2. that for 2 months in a row i've had to call my cable provider *after midnight* to get my service turned back on. i'm current with my payments...but i found out a few minutes ago that my email address was never transferred and so it looks like i haven't paid a thing. instead they set up a stupid bogus email account when my service was transferred and never bothered to tell me either the address or the password. um...

oh, and while they figure this out i have no access to my main email address. NOT.HAPPY

3. (relating to #1) that even though i didn't do anything wrong, i have to deal with the insurance and repair of my car...and pay a deductible. doesn't quite seem fair, does it?

4. that my health insurance basically sucks. i'm actually canceling it today and looking for an alternative healthcare plan a couple of months from now. that way, i'll be able to do my research and save the money that i have been spending on health insurance (which is a LOT) until i can find a plan that's either decent or more affordable--hopefully both!

5. that although i've meant to, i haven't yet made it to bed at a decent hour this week.

6. that i haven't yet unpacked like i meant to. things keep coming up and i feel like i need a good solid few days to concentrate on it. otherwise i get overwhelmed when i only have a few hours

7. that i don't yet have jobs lined up like i would prefer for the next 2.5 weeks where i'm between nanny positions. while i can definitely use a couple of days off, i need to keep income coming in!

(i say that knowing that i will be provided for...jobs have already come in out of the blue. it's just that even though i'm living in this amazing time of provision, i also feel like it's my responsibility to stay busy and productive, ya know?)

8. that i haven't yet found all my clothes. that could be solved had i done #6

;-)

9. that i haven't been to a movie in awhile

10. that i have to remember my pesky inhaler when i think about exercising that doesn't involve wiifit

what about you? what are you shaking your head...or your fist...about this week?