monday's memory: the one with the baby shower

about 2 years ago, we gathered to celebrate the upcoming birth

of a little boy

friends of ours were expecting their first, and we gathered for a shower

one of the take-homes for the couple was a photo album with pictures of the shower guests

anthony and i were in charge of the camera

and we got a bit bored of normal poses

so this is what our picture for the book ended up being :-)

what wonderful craziness life brings

that baby was finn

the child i took care of all last school year

what a blessing to have been there from the beginning :-)

he still gets excited when he sees me

(i'm hoping that never ends)

and i love the friendship that anthony and i share with his parents

full circle sometimes happens quicker than you expect

my time nannying for finn has ended

(although they've asked if i will please be a regular babysitter.

i had no problem saying yes!)

and i now work with other families as well as other jobs

(which i will tell you about soon)

but relationship

that continues

and i am so blessed

to be surrounded by SO MANY

great people

God has given us community

spread over several states,

a few churches

and many different walks of life

but i wouldn't trade this set of quality folks in my life

for anything!

Monday's Memory: the one with the suitemates

(this one shall have lots of pictures)

we met during freshman orientation

a weekend when we visited a local waffle house way too late at night

ordered pizza that took 2 hours to arrive

learned a tiny bit about each other

and decided to be suitemates

we paired off with the 2 "l's" in one room (lindsay and lora)

and gwen and beth in the other

a yankee and a southerner as the makeup of each room

you would have thought we wouldn't work

since NONE of us knew the other

but somehow

beautiful friendships were formed

together we celebrated:

first dates

birthdays (on a budget)

and sometimes just dressed up to dress up

thursday nights were "suite nights"

usually they involved going to wal-mart or the mall

stopping by sonic for a meal

or even walking to the scary subway for a sandwich

we would come back and crash

and watch a movie

(in gwen and beth's room. they had the tv. we had the fridge and microwave)

lindsay introduced us to a show called "second noah"

and we would have marathon nights of watching it on her vhs tapes

from the first season to the last

and we sang

loudly

to the partridge family's "i think i love you"

to rascal flatt's "prayin' for daylight"

and to dixie chicks...well, anything

("goodbye earl" was a particular favorite, however)

we all had musical taste differences

but THOSE were the songs we could agree on. always.

we argued too

and would have nights where we would just talk and work things out

some of those nights involved some tears

but without fail, we'd end up all piled together on one bed

laughing at something

we had long talks

about what we wanted our lives to look like

about faith

family

how we wanted to live out God's calling on each of us

(we had no clue how to do that...we just knew we had to)

it was an idyllic 2 years

junior year, only beth and i returned to trevecca

and we had different roommates

(although our apartments were just across from each other for awhile)

we got together often

and still took classes together (mostly music)

it wasn't quite the same

6 years after the last time we'd all seen each other

beth got married

and the 4 of us saw each other again

(although beth was a little busy...

so it was mainly gwen, lindsay and i who were able to reconnect)

that was in 2007

gwen came to visit nashville last year and we were able to spend a few days together

different "pairings" like that have happened

but the 4 of us haven't spent any time together

that's going to change

THIS WEEKEND!

someone's parents have a cabin

close to gatlinburg

and lindsay, gwen, beth, elijah (beth's toddler) and i

will spend thursday through sunday together

i'm not sure we'll have the same kind of menu

(we're trading ramen noodles for my vodka pasta)

or the same movies

(at least we'll be switching vhs for dvd)

and WE are not the same people

but we still have mad love for each other

and these friendships, i truly treasure

because when we get together

it's like it was 10 years ago when we first met.

Monday's Memory: The One With the Small Group Lunch

end of may, 2007

i'd just driven back overnight from a wedding in n carolina
(which will be a monday's memory later this month...more on that later)

when i look at this picture i smile
yes, i look tired
(i was!)

but i was with such good people
(from front to back)

randy and lajuana now live in atlanta
calvin and kathryne i still see regularly
richard and suz took a worship ministry position at another church in town
and michael and jes now has an adorable baby, finnegan (finn)

we seemed to nearly always gather around mexican cuisine
on wednesday nights especially
although this was a sunday afternoon
anytime we gathered
we laughed
cried
prayed
and loved

still love each other very much...
but times like the ones in this picture? very rare.
precious.

Titus 2 Tuesday: Keli

People who can inspire amid pain are true treasures.

My friend Keli is like that. I've already told you her husband's story. But Keli deserves some time herself.

Keli and her husband Sam were one of the first models of a Christian marriage I saw that I wanted to have for myself. I spent many nights and weekends at their house while I was in college and was always impressed that they took time to romance each other and show that they were still deeply in love. Hard to do, perhaps, with 3 little girls under the age of 6 running around, but they managed. What an inspiration! I will never forget sitting in the congregation one Sunday morning when Keli sang a solo and whispering into a friends ear "I want my future husband to look at me the way Sam looks at Keli when she sings." I knew that if I met a man with that *look* in his eye when he looked at me, that all would be ok with us. I don't really think I'm explaining that well but trust me...you would know if you saw it.

Keli has been pretty vocal on the blog she and Sam are writing. He is the minister in the family, but don't doubt for a moment that because Keli isn't on staff at a church she isn't ministering to those around her just as much!

I'm going to let her words speak to you, from their blog the day after they found out he was not yet in remission.

Into every life some rain falls! We all get news we don’t want to hear. This was ours. It just adds some time on to our stay here…I still firmly believe that the end result will still be the same…Remission. Just not in the exact time that I had planned. Don’t you love when you lay out your time plans for the Almighty! He must laugh at us. I am continuing to learn to sit back and allow Him to carry us through this whole process…trust me …as a nurse…I would like to steer this deal my self!

I know you can look back and think of pitty parties that you have thrown for yourself. They are not fun! They usually include a pouty lip, puffy eyes, furrowed brow and a list of injustices. I have had my share. I had a mini one this morning….and then I quit…because the parties I prefer include cake, friends, and all around good feelings.

I am aware that we are confined to the hospital until the chemo is done and Sams counts are up…whatever that takes. I am aware that we didn’t get the diagnosis that we wanted. BUT DO NOT FORGET That the same God we were praying to this morning before we got this diagnosis…is the same one that is still able to sustain and heal our bodies AND our spirits. I am so thankful!

I'm so thankful to know this amazing woman, and to call her my friend.

Their beautiful family. Sam loves to say they're the "blonde leading the blonde."

Monday's Memory: The One With The Amazing Small Group

(Christmas '06, that's me playing the flute)

Most of the time we just chatted and loved each other.
Until the dark period when there were tears each time we met.
Times of betrayal, trust broken, healing, and restoration.
And through it all, there was music.

Music, after all, had brought us together in the first place.
Music brought us laughter and joy.
Until music was painful because of the memories it evoked.
And in the end, music brought closure.

This is one of the last times most of us were together.
I'm so incredibly thankful to have captured some of it.
Always my family.
Always love.

If you're so inclined, turn off the music player there on your right and enjoy this poor quality video shot from my digital camera...maybe you'll sense some of the magic in this group.

Monday's Memory: The One With The Crazy Connection

This incredibly special piece hangs in my bathroom where I can see it every morning. Not coincidentally, it hangs where it is in full view when I step on the scales.

If you look closely, you can see the wrinkles in the paper and the scuffs of the frame.

It will never change. It's how she gave it to me.

Martell found it in her daughters possessions after she tragically died, and for "some reason" hung onto it. Well...when I willingly entered in recovery she knew the reason. She gave it to me with the statement that she was sure Jennifer would have wanted me to have it.

I was humbled, honored, and grateful. For weeks, it hung in my bathroom and I thought no more of it than a treasured gift from a friend and her daughter who I will never meet this side of Heaven.

And then I invited my "support group" to my house one day. The first two to arrive were Martell and LaJuana. LaJuana being the interior designer immediately started walking through to see what new additions and colors I had added since the last time she had visited. For some reason she walked into my bathroom.

I'll never forget the tone of her voice.

"Where did you get this?"

She and I were alone upstairs at the time, and when I told her that Martell had given it to me and that it was originally Jennifer's she was really quiet...

And then Martell came up the stairs. LaJuana then explained to the two of us that she had created those papers--the paraphrase of the verse in that particular style and font for a young women's retreat she had done for the church that Martell and her family had attended at the time of Jennifer's death.

Full circle.

The odd thing was that LaJuana told us that she didn't think the retreat had gone well, and all these years had just hoped that one person was helped by what she had done there.

Knowing LaJuana, many lives were touched that she'll never know about.

But I have been encouraged and inspired by that retreat for years now.

(Martell, LaJuana and I on women's retreat later that same year. THAT is a story all it's own that I will share here someday...)

Bad Sad Haiku Friday

My heart is sad now
I have cried a lot of tears
Hate saying goodbye

It will be good to
Watch Grey's and then some chick flicks
Let myself chill out.

(I HATE saying goodbye. Have I mentioned that yet? When I'm saying it to the couple that has essentially filled the role of parents where my flesh and blood were not able to...yeah. It sucks.)

*this blog will return to it's normal cheery and sarcastic schedule shortly. please excuse the crying mess. don't slip on the tears on your way out...*

Titus 2 Tuesday

What have learned from another woman this week? (or ever)



I am having the hardest time with these posts lately.
It's not that I don't have enough wonderful women to choose from.
It's that I have too many.

You see, my mother and I have never been close. She had an oddly (and unhealthy) closeness to her own mother, and it honestly wasn't until my grandma died my senior year of college that she attempted to forge a relationship with me. By then...it was really too late.

It's not that I don't love my mom. I do. Truly. And we've gotten closer as time has gone by, but in all the meantime God has provided many "mothers" to fill the void I had.

I'm not sure when I began realizing this. I've already written about two of those "mothers" when writing these T2T posts. Now it's time to introduce you to yet another.

I was so intimidated the first time I met ML. Her husband was a professor at the university I attended, we played in the orchestra together at church, and he and I had become fairly close over the course of the 2 months or so I had been in town. When I met his wife (who goes by ML instead of Marylou) for the first time (after church one Sunday morning) I thought there was no way I would EVER click with this beautiful, classy woman who had it all together.

I remained intimidated until Christmas break freshman year. Our music minister at church had especially asked if I could stay for the Christmas extravaganza. Unfortunately, it was scheduled for the Sunday...after the dorms closed on Friday. I begged housing to let me stay the extra 2 days, but apparently they put a huge vacuum seal over the entire university during the Christmas holidays and there was no way I was breaking that barrier. So Don said "Well, just stay at our house!"

Gulp.

He "led" me to their house that Friday afternoon in the midst of rush hour (which I was still not used to--rush hour at "home" meant a tractor was on the highway...or the high school had just let out). Once we got there, he showed me to my room for the weekend and then headed off to do something...I think it was going back to campus to enter grades or something. I was left alone in the house with a beautiful English spaniel dog (who was my instant buddy and remained so until she died--I was the only person who could take care of her when her parents went out of town). Within an hour or so, I heard the garage door open. I smoothed my hair and tried to look as natural as possible because I knew SHE was home.

She walked in, greeted the dog, and then looked at me and said 7 wonderful words:

"Why don't we go to the mall?"

And a beautiful friendship was born.

ML and I bonded quickly over that weekend, and I was at their house many, many times after. I house-sat for them, dog-sat for them (and Don would bring the dog to see me any time he had her on campus...or call me to go get her out of his office if he had back to back classes). ML became someone that I did total girl things with, like shopping, getting manicures and visiting the makeup counters. ML was the one who introduced me to the beautiful hiking areas of Nashville and for that I will be eternally grateful. Most Sunday afternoons involved a lunch at their house and a hike around Edwin Warner park which was literally 5 minutes from their house at the time. Sometimes they would also invite the girls I lived with, but often it was just me and ML.

I found out a lot about her (them) on those hikes. She grew up in Indiana too, had a very similar upbringing to mine, we had a lot of the same battle wounds. She and Don had never had children of their own...by choice. And so that faux mother/daughter role was easy for both of us to adopt. We were asked by strangers constantly if we were mother and daughter and we always laughed about it...because we look nothing alike!

They left the church we all attended my sophomore year, and those Sunday afternoons became less frequent, but still we gathered together often. And I visited them at their new church (Christ Church) a LOT. I still visit there--it's a pretty well-known church to anyone in this area, and Don actually plays in the band there.

About a year after I graduated they moved closer to the area I live in (and go to church in). You would think this means I see them often, but that's unfortunately not the case. ML has a pretty demanding job and has had to be out of town a lot lately. And of course in my current job-limbo, it's not as easy for me to be up for a shopping trip even if she is in town.

I have no doubt however of these things:
ML loves God
and she loves me.

And that's enough.

(at my senior recital, 2003)