...mic check...1...2...

what would i say about the months of silence?
well, nothing. 
what would i tell you about the things i haven't said in those months?
well, plenty

i would say that the payment i get in hugs and smiles and oh yeah illnesses ;-) far outweigh any paycheck i could ever receive

i would say that i never imagined that working in a preschool setting would be so rewarding

i would say that A and i are happier when the house is tidy. i would also say that when one of us is sick, it becomes a lot harder to keep tidy. we definitely work as a team around here, and i adore that

i would say that grown adults who know better can be vindictive and attempt to steal your joy because of their own bitterness all while wearing a sugary smile and proclaiming their love for Jesus
{i could write an entire series on the southern facade that i.desperately.hate. just be real for crying out loud. yanks have that one over southerners hands down}

i would say that only you can let someone steal your joy
{in other words, neener-neener, aforementioned person didn't win ;-) }

i would say that car shopping when you HAVE to car shop isn't as exciting as it seems to be
{moment of silence for lora's amazing passat...it finally died last month. and i have shed more than a couple of tears.}

i would say that fresh flowers in the house brighten my mood immensely. fresh flowers that my husband pick out for me just intensify that!

i would say that i fall more in love with texas each time i visit 
{year 2 for going on a missions trip to a children's home in the hill country. heart partially there}

i would say that getting your garden planted two months {two MONTHS} late just means a longer harvest period
{fingers crossed}

i would say that the God-encounters that you allow yourself to be aware of are more amazing that you could ever come up with by any stretch of your imagination

i would say that i have wanted to come type out long versions of each of these snippets and felt a block of some sort.  so for now they are snippets.  fuller versions on request...or as i have the time to tell them

but really, it doesn't matter what i have to say about the months between january and july.  we did a lot of living during those months.  times spent with great friends, playing board games, crashing on the couch to watch movies, having family over and A *finally* getting his youngest sister and i to watch the LOTR trilogy, taking time for a date night or two, celebrating my birthday and hosting gatherings for each of our best friend's birthdays, A speaking for the first time at our church plant...and there were also tears and hurt, and pain, and stress and confusion and wondering if we had made the right decisions about several things.

and that's life.

the next six months will hold much of the same, and i await it all expectantly.

life without pain means you forget to feel.  because of tears, i feel joy more radically.

i'm not going to make any promises i can't keep. but my desire is to be here, to be real, to live life authentically in this tiny blip in the internet where i get to have my real voice.

so for the good, for the bad, for all the lovely moments in between...here i am.

oh, and if you take the time to be sweet and comment please include what you drive and why you love it. did i mention car shopping is a pain?!


xoxo

monday's memory: in the details, He is there

be encouraged -- God sees you, knows you, and loves you
{-me :-)} from this post on august 23

and little did i know that hours after writing those words i'd have an example

because of my scheduled time to arrive at work (9.30 am) there is rarely traffic on my way in. therefore, i rarely consult the traffic app on my phone before leaving my house.

on august 23, however, i did.

and what i saw made me pause. my normal route to work was clogged, apparently. and the secondary way i would have normally chosen was not the recommended way to go. instead, a third way that i wouldn't ordinarily consider popped up as the way i should go.

at first i dismissed it.

but the nagging thought (read: Holy Spirit) kept pressing that i should go that way after all.
and so i reluctantly pulled off the exit. after the light turned green i made my left turn.

and that's when i knew something was wrong.
heart pounding i pulled slowly into the first gas station i could spot
and stepped out of the car to see if my suspicions were correct

sure enough, i had a flat tire. and not just a flat tire that needed a bit of pumping up...a FLAT tire. as in, i'm not even sure how i had made it this far on it, surprised my wheel wasn't damaged, flat flat tire.

and then i had to laugh just a little.

you see, this alternate way that i would have never considered?
the gas station that i had abruptly pulled into?
it happened to be just down the street (about a mile) from where my husband's office is

so he was able to come within moments, drive me to work, and then wait with my car for the AAA guy.

all ended up well
(hello brand new set of tires)

but it could have been the opposite.
my normal way to work? interstate the entire way. i don't even want to think about the ramifications of what could have happened given HOW flat my tire was.

that morning i was prompted to open an app on my phone that i ordinarily would have ignored
i was nudged to follow the instructions on the app even though ordinarily i would have dismissed them and gone a more familiar route

a few hours after all this happened a friend tweeted these words, and i had to smile (and retweet):
"God has never stopped being interested in the details of our lives. so why do we worry?"

i'm sure some people would argue that God isn't interested in the details of our lives
i'm sure some would say that i am imagining the hand of God in this.

and all i can say to that is that i hope they have experiences (as i have) where it is undeniable that God is working even in the tiniest areas of their life. living in disbelief that you are radically loved by God is one of the saddest things i know.

because knowing that the God of the universe, the One who speaks and mountains move is personally and intimately interested in every detail of your life?

it's life-changing, my friends

oh, how He loves us so.

Thursday's Ten: about snow in tennessee

as the rest of the country, tennessee is kind of buried under snow at the moment.
and i think it's thrown everyone into a bit of shock!

you see,



{1) we don't get snow here very often.  once a year (well, season), normally, and just a light dusting (at least to my indiana-born eyes)
THIS season we're on our 3rd snow.  2 in december and 1 now.  which started on sunday.  which brings me to my next point...
{2} i've never seen snow last for more than 2-3 days here.  but it keeps.snowing.  which means we have a few MORE days of the white stuff even after it finally stops!
{3} some places have 5-6 inches of snow!  this is unheard of!  i only have a couple of inches, but my travels this week have taken me to some of the deeper snowed in areas.  i'm kinda loving it, i can't lie
{4} nashvillians...do NOT drive well in snow
{5} however, in their defense they usually have more ice than snow.  and tennessee is really hilly...much more so than where i grew up!  and even though it's been way more snow than ice this time around, they're expecting it to be as per usual, i think.  so we're driving down completely clear roads at 30 mph.  sigh.
{6} and school may as well be canceled for the month.  they haven't gone all week, and they've used up all 4 snow days plus 2 now.  because i work for educators, i have only worked one day this week (when she asked me to come over so she could run errands).  i JUMPED at the chance to get out of the house.  however, i am babysitting today, which means that i'm earning some extra cash which is really nice!
{7} all the sleds are sold out everywhere.  of course, not many places had them in stock, lol.  must.find.a.sled by this weekend.  my friend brittany and i have major plans to go sledding if we can find one!
{8} as i've mentioned a couple of times, we have awesome citywide snowball fights on the first day of a good snow.  if this season is any indication, there may be a couple more of these this year!
{9} tires.go.flat.  or low.  it kinda drives me crazy. 
(note to self: stop by gas station on the way to teaching piano today to pump up.  again.)
{10} but for all our mess, we're nowhere near as bad as atlanta.

noon on wednesday, atlanta

how about you?  or are you just so sick of the snow that you'd rather write about 10 things OTHER than the snow? :-)

...check the small things first...

so, you know i have this "new" car

and i'm loving it, truly

i've known for about a month that i need a new hose for the turbo

which the guy who sold me the car is working with me to replace

and while that means that the "malfunction" light is on

no biggie

(although i'll need to replace it by winter at least)

so the other day i noticed a couple of times when i would climb a hill the car would seem to struggle

which i thought was probably a side effect of no turbo

and when a warning light came on a couple of times

i looked it up

it was the "anti-slip regulatory" light

the light that warns you that the anti-slip system has somehow been turned off or compromised

it said it could be related to the engine, braking system, or tires

since i knew there was an engine problem

(the turbo)

i just assumed it was related

thursday the car was acting REALLY funny

like the light came on and stayed on

i could barely make it up ANY hill

and on my way down it would skid -- like it was acting like it was on ice

i was terrified

ter*ri*fied

and of course called the guy who sold it to me

panicking

and asking him to PLEASE bump up the time of repairing this

because

surely it was related

ahem

i was on the way to a babysitting job thursday evening

driving like a grandma

partly out of fright

mostly out of necessity (it wouldn't go very fast)

when a car pulled up next to me at a light, beeped

and the person inside began gesturing wildly

and mouthed the words

"your tire is flat!"

um.

that could definitely be the problem

and sure enough

i stopped at the next gas station

it was flat as a pancake

i filled it with air

and have not seen that light again

sigh.

check the small things, lora

check the small things.

(this can obviously be related to many things in life besides car stuff...i'll let you make your own correlations)