after the craziness of today, we could all use videos like this.
here's hoping for the full recovery for Rep Giffords.
here's hoping for healing for the other victims and families.
here's hoping no other judge is shot down in the line of duty.
here's hoping no other innocent child is killed in a senseless act.
here's hoping that political "leaders" no longer use the phrase "in the cross hairs" or speak of "eliminating" opponents.
here's hoping that people who follow such "leadership" wake up a bit to the consequences of those words.
here's hoping that tomorrow is better for us all :)
allow me to recreate a conversation that happened yesterday, between a friend of mine and me. you'll play my friend.
remember how i told you on friday that i felt like the answer, the solution, was something that no one had thought of yet? that no one had imagined yet? do you also remember that i told you i felt like someone in my network of churches had a property that they needed taken care of? that somehow we would work out a mutually beneficial arrangement? well
yesterday (saturday) morning anthony called me after i taught my first voice lesson of the day he said "when you come over tonight, dad has a proposition for you of a living arrangement...that could include emi" (emi and i being separated has been the hardest part of this whole thing for me. many tears shed) he went on to say these exact words: "it's a scenario i had never even imagined would be a possibility"
it was at that point that i said, "um, i need to tell you something. i told laura and meghan both last night that i felt like the solution to the problem was something none of us had thought of yet." he got really quiet and after a moment said "ok, that's really freaky."
so i went on about my day, met my friend lajuana who was in town for a wedding reception--and she brought me boxes from their move, taught another lesson, and then anthony and i headed to his parents for dinner.
after everyone had cleared out from dinner and we had finished watching...whatever sport was on that night (i believe it was the twenty (20!) inning baseball game...) anthony's dad proceeded to tell me
how his father (anthony's grandfather) has an early form of Parkinson's as well as a dementia they are certain is Alzheimer's anthony's grandmother is already in an assisted living facility and while the family knows that eventually he will probably have to move there as well they also want to honor his desire to stay in his home as long as possible
however, he's been doing some dangerous and scary things lately which could just be stress with his wife's recent health scares and with anthony's other grandfather's sickness and death (they were friends) or it could be his dementia worsening
there is a doctor's appointment soon first part of may to do some testing and analysis to see what exactly is going on
he has a caregiver who comes to the house daily through the week she cooks breakfast and lunch for him and leaves him a dinner that he doesn't have to cook (normally a sandwich) and she takes care of his bathing, dressing, etc he loves having her around (she's been there for at least 2 years) and they are even going to increase her hours a bit while they figure out exactly what's going on
so david (anthony's father) was quick to tell me that what they really need is someone to act as a caretaker for the house not to keep an eye on his father necessarily (although i would be there to know if something crazy happened in the middle of the night!) but to keep an eye on the house and take care of it
are you getting the picture? someone closer to me than i would have imagined described to me the exact scenario that i KNEW would happen i just had no idea it would come this quickly or from a source so close
anthony's father went on to say that if his father has to be moved to a facility in the near future they would still appreciate it if i would stay in the house because with the way medicare and all that works they can't sell the house until after both his parents pass away
he went on to say that even if i start working full-time again they would like me to stay because that way they won't have to find someone else AND i can squirrel away my money and start rebuilding what was lost to me over the last 20 months.
isn't God amazing? on the way out to the car i looked at anthony and said "um, i have to tell you something else i also told laura and meghan that i felt like someone had a property they needed taken care of..." this literally stopped him in his tracks as he said "you've GOT to tell mom and dad this"
well, i haven't had a chance to tell them but i will and i didn't want to leave you hanging :)
anthony and i went to the house yesterday i'm going to have a great setup where emi and i will live in the bottom half of the house they're moving furniture out so that i can move my stuff in and feel right at home we'll even have our own entrance next to the carport (it's a tri-level split level) i'll have to go upstairs to cook and stuff but the top floor will be all his so he doesn't feel like i'm closing in on his space i like that :)
OH, but i will have to go to the tip-top floor once in awhile you see, there's this great deck on top of the carport and on that deck i can put my patio furniture including my chaise so that i can sun ahhhhhh oh and my herb garden? it can live there too or under the carport depending on how much sun the deck gets all day long
and i'll grow my vegetables too (his grandpa is actually kind of excited about that)
all the things i was mourning the loss of emi--restored my garden--restored the use of a piano--restored--it's in the portion of the house i'll be living in, and his grandpa is looking forward to it being played again :0)
i'm so thankful for a God who asks me to be obedient to put down the pen and paper and stop with the formulas
because He has one in the works that is SO much better.
(ps...david was awakened at 4 am on saturday with this idea. so it truly was an idea that had never been thought of on friday :)
i was given the "word" to stop with the formulas on thursday night friday morning i found out that i have 10 days to vacate the property, and will receive a nice sum of money if i do in that amount of time and if i choose not to do that i'll just wait around for a sherrif's notice of eviction clearly i'm taking the cash for keys!
but with the new information came the temptation to start again with the formulas and for awhile i gave in i started on craigslist looking at sublets, apartments and houses for rent taking note of the prices "for the future"
anthony texted and started helping with several pros and cons of the many generous offers i've had of people's guest rooms and couches then we got on the phone and started having a conversation with more and more ideas trying to help me make sense of where to go from here until i finally told him
STOP
i'm not supposed to be coming up with formulas, remember? i feel like i need to be obedient to that i need to get off craigslist i need to not hear the pros and cons of places to go i love and appreciate that you're thinking and problem solving continue to do that please but write it down i can't think about this until sunday (remember that, it's important)
later in the day i told two separate friends that i felt like the answer to this is one that none of us know about yet one that no one has yet considered
i told them further that i felt like somewhere in my network of Christian friends spanning several churches wide that there was someone somewhere who has a property that they need taken care of that they will offer me a mutually beneficial arrangement where i will live at a reduced rate and in return be helping them with things that need to be taken care of that they will see it as an opportunity for service and that i can serve them in some way too
i knew that this idea was not from me because lora is a planner she thinks, and formulates, and comes up with solutions everything fits nicely and neatly together
(at least that was lora before august 2008)
so for me to say "someone has a property?" "i'm going to be taken care of"
I always feel so helpless when someone is sick. When that someone has cancer it's compounded. It's why I'm growing my hair out. When your friend with cancer asks you if you'll donate hair to cancer patients with her you can't say no!
There was a day last week when my status on facebook was something on the order of
"is astounded by the number of people who constantly expend the energy to turn positives into negatives...perhaps we should all try the opposite for awhile"
A texted me a bit later wondering what had inspired it. I told him many things, including Ms N (of driving Miss N) and her tendency to make things sound worse than they are, and the tendency of many of my friends to focus consistently on the negative.
But mostly, I told him, it was because of my friend Sam.
Sam is an example of doing the opposite--turning his negatives into positives.
Sam was the director of music at the university I attended. Very shortly after arriving there, I became his kids (3 adorable girls) consistent babysitter. And Sam and Keli became like family. I spent many weekends at their house, did laundry for free in their machines, house and pet sat when they were gone...
We went to church together--Sam was the worship minister. Shortly after I bought my condo and had began attending and eventually joined the church I now attend, Sam and Keli accepted a position at another church in town. We kind of lost contact over the years, although I have called or emailed a few times.
About two months ago I began seeing confusing (to me) status updates from Keli on facebook...and then from their neice Lizzie who I went to school with...and finally I was directed to Sam's blog.
He's battling acute leukemia, the same kind that killed his father when Sam was still a teenager.
The blog subscription that I added that night left me in tears.
But over the last few weeks, I have been uplifted and encouraged daily by Sam and Keli as they update...and even the girls as they leave comments on the entries.
My status update that day was triggered by a post of Sam's explaining that he is not in remission as we all had hoped. And in the middle of the post he encouraged his readers—his friends and family—not to lose faith in the God he knows is working in this situation.
Powerful.
If HE can believe so adamantly, who are we to waver?
Sam has claimed a song as “his”, though many speak to him at the moment.However, the one he mentions often, the one he encouraged all of us to listen to, is one I already knew well.It’s by Parachute Band, and the title is simple…”Complete”
Sam’s not feeling great today—this second round of chemo is affecting him differently and he’s nauseous and feeling rather weak.There’s not a whole lot I can do but pray…and ask all of you to do the same.I’m not going to share the link to his blog here publicly, but if you would like to remain connected to his story and be uplifted by what he and Keli have to say, message me.I’ll be happy to share the blog address with you.
Today…for Sam
Complete
Here I am, O God I bring this sacrifice, my open heart I offer up my life. I look to You, Lord Your love that never ends It restores me again
So I lift my eyes to You, Lord In Your strength will I break through, Lord Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me I know Your love dispels all my fears Through the storm I will hold on, Lord And by faith I will walk on, Lord Then I’ll see beyond my Calvary one day And I will be complete in You
Here I am, O God I bring this sacrifice, my open heart I offer up my life. I look to You, Lord Your love that never ends It restores me again
So I lift my eyes to You, Lord In Your strength will I break through, Lord Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me I know Your love dispels all my fears Through the storm I will hold on, Lord And by faith I will walk on, Lord Then I’ll see beyond my Calvary one day And I will be complete in You
I look to You, Lord Your love that never ends It restores me again
So I lift my eyes to You, Lord In Your strength will I break through, Lord Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me I know Your love dispels all my fears Through the storm I will hold on, Lord And by faith I will walk on, Lord Then I’ll see beyond my Calvary one day And I will be complete Yes, I will be complete in I will be complete in You
