thursday's ten: on love and hate, boycotting and bashing

you guys, i really really don't like to preach on this blog. i know my normal readers will know that (at least i hope so!). but i really feel passionately about this, and needed to get it out there.  forgive my grammatical and late-night-writing errors, and please read it with a measure of grace. i certainly haven't arrived and i make oh-so-many mistakes, but my prayer truly is that i make more mistakes of loving too deeply than of wounding those who so need Papa's Love.


i really don't talk about controversy MUCH here on the blog.  and really, this isn't going to delve too deeply into one.  but with recent events coming to light that have sparked a tremendous battle of words among facets of the population i really just have a few things i feel i must say.




1. i find it slightly amusing and very hypocritical for people who have opposed conservative Christians and bashed them for boycotting companies that supported gay rights to turn around and boycott a widely-known conservative Christian company for the opposite thing.


2. on the other hand, i am incredibly disappointed at the folks who are creating banners touting their support of said company SIMPLY because they now view them as a company who OPPOSES gay rights.



*slight pause for clarification. i am unashamedly a Christian, a lover of Jesus and an extreme God-follower.
but i'm not sure anyone would ever describe me as "conservative"
:-)



3. i'm not entirely sure that either side has their facts completely straight. (um. no pun intended there)


4. i'm not sure when it became an "us versus them" issue. but that.needs.to.stop.


i've read several people who say "if *they* would just stop hating"..."if *they* would just let us have our viewpoint and opinion"..."if *they*"...


i will say it as concisely as i possibly can:


we are all children of God.
there is no us. there is no them.
we are one people
even those who aren't walking in the fullness of their identity as His Kids...
(and to be honest, that's probably most of us)
we are one.


and the longer this "us and them" mentality stays around the more people we are losing because we are hung up on things that don't matter.


(and that thing that you just thought of that you think matters, if it's keeping people from knowing Jesus because His "followers" are too busy harping on it, it probably matters less than you think)


5. if one more person tells me that they wish people would "stop hating on Christians" i may just unleash a dissertation on why that is a very valid viewpoint for many people.


and that's what makes me saddest.  i've said it before: i choose love. i will always choose love, even though it's not the easiest thing to do. it is my greatest calling, and therefore i must choose it.


6. however, my most concise response to the above would be this: why on earth are you expecting "THEM" to make the first move? Christians are commanded to love. the world isn't commanded to love Christians. and the fact that many communities have experienced anything BUT love from the Christian community means that we are really REALLY failing them.


7. people need to live and let live.  or as i often tell the kids i work with: just chill for a minute, ok?


8. chick-fila makes a damn good spicy chicken deluxe sandwich.


9. some people are going to be more offended about the fact that i just used the word "damn" (twice now) than the fact that people often experience only bitterness and hatred from the Christian community.


10. it really.really.really is all about love


i've said it before.
i'll surely say it again.


this post from Jon Acuff's blog yesterday prompted me to forward it to several of my friends. THIS is what the church should look like. and until more of us get that picture, i guess you'll keep reading posts like this. :-)


as my amazing friend natasha posted yesterday: i'm going to boycott hate.


and now if you'll excuse me, i think i'll go buy a chick-fila sandwich and eat it while watching a disney blu-ray. 


(thank you for reading if you made it this far. oh, and thank you for not unfollowing me if you haven't yet. :-)

but i choose love

this morning i awoke
to one of my absolute least favorite things

.d.r.a.m.a.

in the form of facebook
and things being revealed in a hurtful way
someone choosing to air grievances publically
choosing to act out of anger
out of hurt
out of shame

not caring
(or perhaps caring in the wrong way)
in the moment they hit "post"
how their words would impact a pretty large group of people.

i was alerted to the situation by a text from my love
and spent the first few waking moments of my day in a state of surprise and a bit of anger

and then i paused for a moment
and remembered

i get to choose the way i react to this situation
just as the person who created the situation got to chose how they handled it
and just because i don't like their choice
doesn't mean that i have to make an equally wrong choice.

ah, what freedom.

i choose to love
i choose to remember that this person is acting out of a place of deep woundedness.
i choose to reflect on the days when i would have chosen similarly
i choose to love

does making this choice make the situation go away?
does it make that person stop feeling the hurt they so obviously are in?
does it change any of the words that were hurled out so publically?

no.
but that's ok.

i choose to love
when it's inconvenient
i choose to love
when it's unfair
i choose to love
when it has to be a deliberate decision
i choose to love
with the best of me, not the leftovers

i choose to love
whether or not i feel in the moment that you are deserving of it

i get to choose
and i choose love

a simple (or not so simple) question

those lyrics that say "break my heart for what breaks Yours?"

when i sing them, i mean them

and sometimes i feel like i get a glimpse of what breaks the Father's heart

this question started burning in my mind a few days ago

like, can't get it out of my head 

must get it out

sort of burning

so...here it is.

while you are busy hating the homosexual

fearing the Muslim

banishing the refugee

walking the other way from the homeless

refusing to serve the illegal

who exactly is being Christ to the above?

i'm pretty sure i've seen more Christ-love behavior

from each of those groups

than from many who bear His name

(don't get me wrong -- there are many who bear His name in the above groupings too)

perhaps evangelicals need to remember why they are CALLED evangelicals

and protestants need to stop protesting everything that doesn't fit into their box

and catholics need to worry less about what one council says and more about how One Person lived

and charismatics need bring some of that energy into serving the least of these

there's no perfect answer

and we're not perfect people

but the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart

and the second

to love your neighbor as yourself

and we can't choose our neighbors, folks

but sometimes i wonder

if they are chosen for us

by Divine intersection

how many of us speed through without even looking?

so there it is

it's a simple question

while we are so busy elsewhere

who is showing His love?

  

...commitment...

this past saturday
in a small kansas city church
two people stood before a minister
and pledged their love for one another
they were surrounded by family (more for one than the other)
friends
and a supportive community
words were spoken to bless their "commitment" and their life together
and hardly anyone seemed to notice
that they were both men

i noticed
after all, one of them is my brother
and i was sitting next to his children on one side
who love him dearly,
even if they still harbor hurt and pain from the way their parents split
and my boyfriend on the other
who had never been to anything like this ever in his life

there are few topics i won't touch on this blog
religion/faith
politics
the relation of the two
my opinions on a multitude of things
all those are pretty much fair game

but this is one
that i won't
(at least not that i can forsee)
because i would have a hard time talking about
something as if i knew how i felt about it
when i haven't got a clue

when you're raised to believe one way
but experiences share a different view
when you're taught one thing
but your heart...well, you have one.

this much i do know:
i love my brother
the man walking beside him is sweet, funny, and sincere
and there is a genuine love between them

this much i also know:
God loves them too
and they love Him

beyond that...
i don't have to know

and THAT
is an amazing release

ps in case anyone is all "reporting to the authorities" or whatever: this was a commitment ceremony, NOT a wedding or civil union. it was held in a sacred space to profess their commitment to each other in front of a community. that's all.

black and white...or gray?

seems like a lot of my favorite things are black and/or white

newspapers

which carry my weekly coupons

white house, black market

which carries clothing that i love

the little black dress

my macbook

but so many things are just not.

and i find myself frustrated with those who try to make gray (or orange...or purple) things black and white.

like women's roles in the church

which i don't even think should be a discussion

like handing out condoms in schools

which i may not like, but i still support--as long as proper education is there as well

like whether alcohol is evil

i don't think it is...but i understand for some people it is, and i do respect that

(i sense longer blog posts for every one of those little categories in my near future!)

there are so many things in life that fall into that gray area

i like gray

what i don't like is people trying to explain away the gray

trying to dilute it into white or darken it to black

not all things are purely good

or purely evil

and i wonder

why we seem to find ourselves focusing on gray so often

here's what i know to be black and white

God loves me

He sent his Son

to save the world

john 3:16

my job now

is to help out however i can

...go into all the world...

to show people that love

to take care of the earth

not to be eco-chic, but to truly care about God's creation

to make my divine appointments

(or rather, to make my appointments divine)

that looks different for everyone

sometimes i'm not sure what it looks like for me

but that's what matters.

why focus on the gray?