thursday's ten: in transition (again)

if you follow me on twitter or pinterest, you may have clued in that my job title is switching...again.
after 5 years of nannying full or part time (the last 3.5 being for AMAZING and wonderful families who have loved me and i have adored right back) i'm entering a full-time role in a school setting.


it's SO not what i would have ever seen myself doing.
but it's exciting and just...so unexpected!


so in the form of a list, here's a little bit about what i will (and will not) be doing


i will be working FULL-TIME in one place, while teaching lessons on the side. no more waking up each day and reminding myself which "work" i'm driving to!


i will be following a schedule more true to my body clock (for the first time since...ever).  no more 6:30 am start times...my day will begin at 11:30.


i will not be spending one on one (or two) time with children of just one family. that part makes me quite sad, as i'm quite attached to said families!


but i will be able to invest in the lives of multiple children and families.


i will be a bit out of my comfort zone...my job will be supervisory and i'll be second in command which feels like a huge promotion (that i didn't seek out at ALL)


i will be able to complete grocery shopping, lawn & garden work, and other errands/tasks (including pool time!) before i even go in to work most days.


and i will be able to do all those things and still "sleep in" until 8 am or so (most days)


i will be spending more time at home simply going from 45/50 hours weekly (better than the 60 i was working a couple of months ago!) to 32.


because of the above, i will be able to invest more in my friends and actually visit my girlfriends more often :-)


i will earn paid time off, which means that my husband and i can actually take a vacation and not have to worry about lost income 


so, what am i going to be doing?
well...a few weeks ago i interviewed (after being contacted by them initially) with a preschool that is full-inclusion to "just be a sub a couple of days a week".
a week or so after that interview (in which i was told that i would definitely be hired) they called me and asked me to stop by to "discuss my schedule"
when i went in the next day, i was told about this position and tentatively offered it (with the potential starting of it starting in august)
the next day, i contacted them and told them if they offer was extended it would be accepted
and the next day, i was called and formally offered the job (with the new starting time of JUNE)


i'll be the "afternoon coordinator" at this school, which is why i come it at 11:30 and leave at 6(:05).  i'll be making sure staff is supported and on target, troubleshooting anything that comes up, structuring activities to be learning play time, and popping in classrooms every once in awhile myself to interact with the kids. 


i'm totally excited, quite nervous about the responsibility, and quite overwhelmed that my Papa has once again just handed me a job without me looking for it at.all.


the families i am currently working for are thrilled for me, sad to see me go, but completely blessing this in my life. that has been SUCH a gift. i plan to babysit often and even just visit...clients who have become friends are so precious.


there is so much more to the story, regarding connections from a previous unhealthy work environment that i was placed in for a reason and all sorts of other things...but in the interest of remaining professional and honoring even those who i haven't felt honored by...those stories are just not for this blog.


let me encourage you if you are not in this place of "good news" on the job front or anywhere else...He is still faithful. my story isn't all neat, perfect and pretty (as anyone who has read this blog for any length of time knows well)...but it is Glorious, because He has been the author of every page. this current page that looks so polished is a result of the smudges and dark blots on preceding ones...and i'm not naive enough to think that this page will remain as pretty as it is now :-) life is messy because humans are messy. and God chooses to work through us anyway? what an incredible honor, what lavish love He has for us.

settling in

at the end of june, anthony found out that his job had an expiration date
which was the end of august

clearly, not the BEST timing in the world's eyes
but we couldn't help think
that God was probably up to something

(little.did.we.know.)

we struggled for a few moments whether to apply at the townhomes we were interested in
finally settling on applying as we had planned
only stepping back if no job prospects had materialized for him by the time we were supposed to sign the lease in early september
a step of faith

and we continued tithing and giving beyond that when we felt so inclined
feeling that God has SO blessed us
that there's no reason to hang onto money that's not even ours
out of a spirit of fear

life went on
anthony began the job hunt
we were thankful that they had given him 2 months notice
but there were still some fearful moments

and then, in mid-july
i was driving home from job #1 on a friday when he called me
and the conversation started like this
"you are not going to BELIEVE the conversation i just...
actually...YOU'RE going to believe this."

he proceeded to tell me that our friends who had recently moved out of state
had been wanting to rent, rather than sell, their home
and that they really wanted us to live there
so much that they had low-balled the rent to $100 less per month than we'd be paying at the townhome.

when our friend T, the realtor handling all this
called him to tell him this
he explained that while that was an INCREDIBLY good deal
and one that would be perfect
we just weren't in a position right now to do that
because of his job uncertainty
and while we would obviously hate to not be able to pay rent at an apartment complex
we would REALLY not want to do that to friends

at that point she said "it's interesting you mention that..."
and explained that for some time these friends of ours
had been feeling that God might be asking them
to use this house as a ministry
to let people who are struggling financially
(just lost jobs, just starting out, paying down debt, etc)
stay in the house for a very reduced rent
or even free

we went to see the house the following sunday
and were absolutely floored
easily 3 times (at least) the size of the townhouse
(it's like God said "ok, I'll see your townhouse and I'll raise you...")

at the end of a cul-de-sac
facing the woods...
it's perfect.

and it's perfect for so many reasons

our mission statement that we had to write in our marriage prep class went something like this
"our mission is to serve and love families through hospitality, writing and teaching."

we thought it would be years before we'd be able to REALLY put that hospitality thing to work
but this house?  completely enables us to not only host large gatherings, but to offer beds and rooms to guests and friends for extended periods of time.  it's SO our heart to do that, and God just handed us the perfect place to do so.

anthony loves to tell people that before we were ever engaged we talked about "dream homes" for WAY in the future.  our list included the following *small* details

- a window over the kitchen sink (my wish)
- no tile tubs/showers (a's wish)
- a deck and nice backyard
- close to an interstate (a must in nashville) but a quiet neighborhood
- family friendly neighborhood
- a fireplace
- a big tub (me again)
- a HUGE kitchen
- lots of natural light
- a bonus room for a man cave (guess who ;-)

guys.  this house?  has every.single.detail and more.

my favorite part of the story has to do with a prophetic word that one of our pastors gave me a few months ago.  he was talking about my life and the things that had been taken unfairly.  and he said "there's a verse in the Bible that says that when the enemy steals something for you he has to repay it 7-fold" and that he really felt i would see fruit of that verse over the next several months, in every facet of my life.

when the mortgage company made that huge error last spring, i ended up with 10 days to move out of my condo

the other day i got a bit curious and decided to count the number of days from the day T had said "yes, absolutely start moving your stuff in the house whenever you'd like" to our wedding date.

i re-counted after the first count.

because the number?  was 70.  exactly 70.  7 times the amount of days i had to move a year and a half ago.

if i hadn't already been sure this was God...i certainly would have been at that moment.

meanwhile, anthony is working a temporary gig for the next several months
but we've been told to not pay a cent of rent until after our wedding.

God.IS.Good
don't you ever, ever doubt it

what i'm loving wednesday (8.3.11)

i'm loving that i realized today that there is more behind me than ahead of me on this diet, and that i'm not craving all the "bad" food at all.  i mean, i'll be running to chick-fila at some point immediately after finishing, but i really appreciate the true lifestyle changes that i can foresee from this.  and isn't that the whole point of a "diet" anyway?

i'm loving that anthony and i haven't butted heads on pretty much anything in picking out furnishings, decor, etc for our upcoming new place.  now, a lot of that is letting us each have our own domain (me: kitchen, him: entertainment room), but quite a bit of it is back and forth discussion and reaching a mutual decision.  currently we're playing elimination games for bedside tables, bookshelves, etc.

i'm loving that i have some exciting news to share of God's amazing provision and faithfulness...but i'm hating that i can't share it quite yet.  soon, though.  very soon.

i'm loving random and wonderful moments stolen away with friends.  it seems like we're all so stinkin busy these days, and it's really nice to be able to connect even if it's only for 20 minutes.  and face to face trumps all!

i'm loving pinterest.  i have become addicted in a very few short days.  i have to admit that a lot of it probably stems from my upcoming wedding and new dwelling place, but i can see this being something i'll enjoy for quite awhile!

i'm loving thundershowers that appear in the midst of this summer crazy heat.  i'm wishing for more frequent thundershowers...my poor tomatoes.

i'm loving new piano students...new jobs...

i'm loving the fact that a few short weeks from now i'll be moving to a new location soon to be joined by my HUSBAND.  i'm not loving the packing, etc, that will have to occur in the next few short weeks.

what i'm loving wednesday .3

necan you believe i wrote the majority of this post last night?  and 8:40 pm on wednesday it's finally almost ready to publish.  sigh.  that's how this day has gone people :)  can you tell i need to focus on the good stuff?

i'm loving the way anthony gets so cutely intense while playing a game like angry birds

i'm loving monday nights at emanate

i'm loving strawberry milkshake flavored pop-tarts.  i'm not even kidding.

i'm loving this sweet snuggly (under protest) kitty

i'm loving that it's finally time for planting!  i got my herbs in their planters on saturday (and currently am playing the game of hide and seek with them and the storms!) and as soon as we get a nice dry day i'll be planting tomatoes, cucumbers and squash!

i'm loving the commercial with the man and beaver.  haven't seen it?  ok...here ya go


i'm loving how crazy and fun God is :-)  i'm currently sitting at the 2nd of at least 3 unplanned babysitting jobs for the week.  it's goooood people, it's good.

Thursday's Ten: MORE!

has anyone else felt that air of excitement yet?
it's a different feeling than i've ever felt at a simple flip of the calendar
it's...more anticipation.  more amazement.  more delight.
i can't explain it...but in talking to some of my friends i know i'm not alone in this.

i've decided on my word of the year.
more

it's not a material thing at ALL.
more of a spiritual, relational, and well-being thing.

and here's what i want more of in 2011

1.  God, Jesus, Holy Spirit.  MORE -- way, way MORE.
2.  healthy habits.  more water, more veggies, more fruit, more sleep, more exercise
3.  more provision, more opportunities to make money while still allowing me to continue investing in people that i love
4.  more opportunities to give, more money to tithe, more ways to help
5.  more time with anthony, more time spent in purposeful love and connection
6.  more trips to see family (his and mine), more time spent with loved ones here
7.  more girlfriend time.  more cell group, more chick flicks, more glasses of wine, more mojitos, more road trips
8. more communication with those i love via face to face, phone, email, facebook, text...whatever way keeps me in touch!
9.  more writing, more reading, more reflecting
10.  more opportunities to practice and use the gifts that God has blessed me with. 

what do you want more of this year?  join me in believing that there is MORE to be had in 2011.  as one of my friends said the other night: "2011...open heaven".  meaning it's right there ready to drop down.  come ON!

a year in review, 2010

little did i know when i did a similar post last year what would happen in 2010. it's been a CRAZY year!

january
i perfected a bloody mary recipe, i ran a wild 5k and subsequently injured myself the next day and it finally snowed in nashville! (and i took pictures)

february
we had an amazing and sweet valentines day with amazing flowers, and then...well, life kind of started exploding...and not in a great way.  it was mid-february that anthony's granddaddy entered the hospital with some sort of unknown (at the time) pain

march
anthony's granddaddy passed away only a few days after discovering that he had stage 4 cancer. i celebrated my birthday (anthony gave me a wii!) and found out that the mortgage company had made a huge error...

april
God remained ever faithful -- that seemed to be the theme of this month.  i got the official word that i had lost my house, and i had 10 days to move out.  and that's when the CRAZY God-stuff began happening. anthony's sister got baptized at church on the last day we were moving me out.  i was the featured WOW blogger one day. i had a massive asthma...event...among other things...and ended up in the ER and staying in the hospital overnight. i was thankful to see the calendar change from april to may until...

may
the first weekend in may, nashville flooded.
one of my best friends in indiana got married and i was in the wedding, anthony had his first published article, i spent a fantastic weekend in the gatlinburg area with my suitemates from college.

june
i spent a long weekend in delaware with laura and izzy, started a new summer nanny gig with two precious kids, i wrote a little about provision and other deeper subjects

july
God signed me up for a fantastic retreat weekend (no, really), anthony's grandma passed away, about 20 minutes after her graveside service my car was totaled when it was parked on the street -- hit and run, i headed to the beach for a whirlwind trip with some girlfriends
 
august
i began working for my friends as a nanny to their sweet little boy, we traveled to kansas city and loved our time with family there, i replaced my car

september
this was the month of CRAZY weekends!  we went to st louis with friends, had a retreat with the youth group,  we went to holiday world, i went to arkansas with natasha.

october
i attended an awesome prophetic conference where i actually was on a team that GAVE prophetic words...amazing, i got pretty real on the blog

november
i took the time to finally write out how God has orchestrated my every move for the last 2.5 years, we continued our tradition of visiting the christmas village, we found out a favorite nashville store was closing

december
we got not one but TWO white christmases!  we visited my family in indiana for our first christmas in mid-december...and it snowed.  and it snowed here christmas eve and christmas day which was a lovely thing.  it hadn't snowed here on christmas since anthony's childhood!  i joined a wonderful cell group of Spirit-filled and amazing girls.  december was pretty much a blur and i didn't blog very much of it...but that just means i was out living it :)

so 2010.  it was a very interesting year.  what a range we've been through!  heartache, loss, love, provision, abundance, and just crazy things!  i think i'll look back on 2010 as one of the best years of my life, as strange as that sounds.  yes, i lost so much in the material sense.  but what i gained in return -- what God has blessed me with -- is so much better than anything i had before. 

i can't WAIT to see what He has for me -- for us -- in 2011.  if this year was this crazy and amazing...just wait.  buckle up, guys.  i have a feeling it's going to be one awesome ride!

hey, it's ok (tuesday) .5

hey, it's ok

... to have equally wanted all 4 groups left to win the sing-off.  mostly.  but to have been quite excited about the top two, and to have been proud of the US for choosing in the right order :-)
... to love fruit snacks, even though you know there's little "fruit" in them
... to sometimes leave the christmas tree lights on all.night.long
... to get just as excited as the 3 year old co-chef about making sugar cookies together.  and to indulge in a heavily decorated by said 3 year old's sugar cookie.
... to buy 99 cent mint water from trader joe's on occasion just because it's yummy.
... to be overwhelmed with laughter at times when you think about God's provision in your life
... to ignore the healthy options at home and head straight through a drive-thru after a rather stressful last-minute shopping trip.  salads can be had tomorrow.  :D

:-)

Thursday's Ten: thanksgiving '10

(you should all participate in this one. just sayin')

today i am thankful

- for the table we will gather at with anthony's family.  for them, their hospitality, and their immediate acceptance of me.  and that they asked me to bring something that's traditional in MY family today so i'm bringing green bean casserole and pumpkin pie.  and so incredibly grateful i didn't get a preparatory letter like this one with instructions. (read it.  you'll laugh)

- for the man i love and our time together so far...and for SO.MUCH to look forward to.  for future plans that excite me, for knowing that he loves God more than he loves me...so the balance is alllll gooooood.  and that he's a dork, just like me.

- for emi, who scrunches her face up into "her" chair, who sits on the piano bench more often than i do, who jumps up on the bed to be loved on as soon as i walk in the door, who runs to greet me when i arrive, who sometimes just runs around the house like a crazed animal, who is stingy (but rewarding) with her purrs, who loves to chase a laser light, and who most nights will cuddle with me at bedtime just for a little while.

- for life in the garden, in the herb planters.  and that i've managed to keep a cilantro plant alive for a whole month now.

-  for the fact that i just drove to anthony's apartment with my sunroof open.  on thanksgiving day, people.  it's in the 70s today :D

(and yes, it'll be cold tomorrow.  but i can be thankful for warm weather on thanksgiving!)

- for friends who get me.  and for those who don't, but accept that i'm a little crazy ;-)

- for the spiritual communities that have shaped my faith.  this journey has been a wild ride, for SURE  but i've told many people to buckle up and raise their hands because it's the ultimate thrill ride!

- for the privilege of being called to live this way.  so completely dependent on God for provision and strength that i pretty much live just like this quote:

"But God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through"

(Francis Chan)

- for my wii, dvr, laptop and iphone that serve as distractions when i need them, entertainment when i'm lacking, exercise when it's hot/cold/rainy, and connections with those i love. yes, all of them have their downsides, but using them for their intended purpose has been a blessing

- for so many countless things in addition: my dog magnet that has dogs of all shapes, sizes and breeds flocking to me and giving me affection.  for starbucks and my ridiculous collection of travel mugs.  for road trips with friends.  for snuggles on the couch.  for naps.  for worship.  for babies and the privilege of watching them grow.  for the families who have supported me and entrusted me with their most valuable possessions -- their children.  for learning about and beginning to operate more fully in my giftings.  for laughter.  for family.  for so.much.more.

and of course...for all of you.  who come here and read what i have to say, who humble me with the way you respond, who encourage me with your friendship.  i started blogging just for me, and i'm ever surprised and blessed that you hang out with me here in this small corner of the internet. so thankful that our lives (and blogs) have crossed paths.  :)

abundance.2

so, a few weeks ago i remember chatting with God

and telling him, offhandedly, that an extra $xxx a week would be awesome

and was even looking for other part-time nanny gigs to bring that money in

nothing really was materializing

but i wasn't panicking

because i'm pretty solid in the knowledge

that He provides

so

last week i started noticing little things

really little

like going through 2 different fast food windows and ordering ranch for my fries

(i know, SO unhealthy...whatever)

and instead of receiving 1 package, i'd get 2 or even 3

i texted a friend saying

"abundance is following me!"

last night i dreamed
that i was moving into an apartment with my old college roommates
and that we were trying to cram stuff into kitchen cabinets
and every time we made a decision and filled a cabinet
we noticed more and more cabinets
until finally, we had an entire row of cabinets that lay in wait for us
because we had nothing left to put in them
and an extra stove as well
abundance

and then today the final piece of the puzzle

when the office manager for the studio i teach at

called me

as i was sitting on the couch

enjoying the breezes wafting in

watching mindless tv

and editing pictures

enjoying this wonderful day off

and she asked if i were able to take 2 additional students each week

and could i start that as early as tomorrow?

i held back my laughter while we chatted

about the special needs of one of these students

and the time management involved

and when i got off the phone i started thinking

"ok, so with my existing students, the ones that were added last week and these two...

that brings the total to $xxx/week..."

and that's when it hit me

and i REALLY laughed

God.is.Good

don't you ever doubt that one

curveballs that life throws you

don't hold a candle

to the ones He has tucked away!

Thursday's Ten: smiles

let's review, shall we?

in the last 5 months, anthony has lost 2 grandparents

i've lost my house

i wound up in the emergency room

and my car was hit and run while it was parked

in front of anthony's parents house after his grandma's graveside service.

it's likely totaled

(although i haven't had the official word yet, so there is still hope)

and yet

it's been a good year.

meghan and i were talking about this very thing on our way to florida

that we had sucky 2008s

and that year, she said

that we were going to heal in 2009

and our 2010s were going to be amazing

we kind of giggled as we talked about what all has happened this year

and then we fell silent

and i said

"you know what?

this year has been amazing.

i wouldn't trade any of these experiences

or the provision that God has just poured out on me

for anything

i think i'm going to get to the end of this year

look back,

laugh

and say

WOW, what a ride!"

so while i do have a moment or two of down time

and shed tears

and hurt for those who are hurting

and ache for the loss of my house...my car (maybe)

i can't shake the feeling

the knowledge

that God is raining down blessings on me

and so,

sometimes i have to find a reason to smile

in things that i would normally not notice

but i'll tell you something

i'm aware

now more than ever

that the little things sometimes aren't so little after all

so this week, my reasons to smile have included

1. the cashier at kroger literally opening a self-checkout like just for me

(and he closed it as soon as i'd paid)

2. a scarf that my friend laura bought for me last week just because

3. couponing trips that were just ridiculous

4. buying a set of (cheap) new sheets and putting them on the bed fresh out of the dryer

5. actually writing down the amount of money that i needed God to provide me with this week...and watching Him MULTIPLY it

(that one actually made me laugh. who was i to think i could limit Him anyway?!)

6. laura's response to #5 when i told her was "holla back Sugar Daddy!"

(that made me laugh harder)

7. worship on monday night

8. seeing that i have 3 tomatoes getting ready to pick (i haven't yet had one this summer and it's way.past.time)

9. watching the weight go down every time i step on the wiifit...that revelation was for REAL, y'all!

10. watching 30 rock last night with anthony and our good friends kyle and natasha (kyle is anthony's new roomie)

smiles. laughter. joy

a month or so ago, one of the leaders of our small group, chad, had a vision for me

he said he saw me playing the piano

with one hand

only hearing that one part

but playing it perfectly

and he said

that during this season of my life

i can only hear my part

that i know God is playing His

but i can't see it

or hear it

i'm just trusting that it's blending perfectly with mine

and he said

that i'm doing exactly what i'm supposed to do

playing my part

not in a fake way

but in all sincerity

i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be

and the song that results from this

is beautiful

and he said further

that the level of JOY in this season of my life

is absolutely astounding

yep.

pretty much describes life as i've come to know it

and i love it.

what's made you smile this week?

Thursday's Ten: things in the not-so happy category

i try to keep it positive around here, really i do.

but sometimes you just NEED to vent

so join me, won't you?

here's 10 things i'm less than thrilled about today:

1. that my car was the victim of a hit-and-run about 30 minutes after the graveside service on friday. no one in it, thankfully, but it's pretty banged up. i won't even get into the story.

2. that for 2 months in a row i've had to call my cable provider *after midnight* to get my service turned back on. i'm current with my payments...but i found out a few minutes ago that my email address was never transferred and so it looks like i haven't paid a thing. instead they set up a stupid bogus email account when my service was transferred and never bothered to tell me either the address or the password. um...

oh, and while they figure this out i have no access to my main email address. NOT.HAPPY

3. (relating to #1) that even though i didn't do anything wrong, i have to deal with the insurance and repair of my car...and pay a deductible. doesn't quite seem fair, does it?

4. that my health insurance basically sucks. i'm actually canceling it today and looking for an alternative healthcare plan a couple of months from now. that way, i'll be able to do my research and save the money that i have been spending on health insurance (which is a LOT) until i can find a plan that's either decent or more affordable--hopefully both!

5. that although i've meant to, i haven't yet made it to bed at a decent hour this week.

6. that i haven't yet unpacked like i meant to. things keep coming up and i feel like i need a good solid few days to concentrate on it. otherwise i get overwhelmed when i only have a few hours

7. that i don't yet have jobs lined up like i would prefer for the next 2.5 weeks where i'm between nanny positions. while i can definitely use a couple of days off, i need to keep income coming in!

(i say that knowing that i will be provided for...jobs have already come in out of the blue. it's just that even though i'm living in this amazing time of provision, i also feel like it's my responsibility to stay busy and productive, ya know?)

8. that i haven't yet found all my clothes. that could be solved had i done #6

;-)

9. that i haven't been to a movie in awhile

10. that i have to remember my pesky inhaler when i think about exercising that doesn't involve wiifit

what about you? what are you shaking your head...or your fist...about this week?

provision

it just doesn't make sense to people

and i KNOW that

and sometimes it's frustrating to attempt to explain to people

even some of my Christian friends who aren't called to the same life of exuberant faith that i have been

(and there is nothing wrong with that--they are called to other things that i'm not)

but money?

i'm not worried about it

which makes NO sense

to anyone who knows my circumstances

God is teaching me that HE and He alone provides my every need

provision

under the best and worst of circumstances

yes, i "lost" my house

but i truly felt that it was a release

a hurtful one at moments

but a release, nonetheless.

i have bills to pay

that i have no earthly idea how they will be paid

but that's just it--earthly ideas don't get me very far

He knows how it will happen

and while sometimes i wonder it people think i'm just sitting around on my butt

waiting

(and in a sense, that's what i'm doing--the waiting part at least

i work my butt off doing all kinds of odd jobs)

*i* know

that every time something is due that is crucial

somehow,

some way

the funds come through

and yeah,

dave ramsey would not be thrilled with my approach

(or maybe he would--

i have a feeling that he understands what it is to live in faith that God will provide)

and it doesn't follow his "program"

which i very much respect

and have many friends who have used it to eliminate debt from their lives

that program

that mindset

is not what i'm called to right now

i don't know why

i don't know for how long

but i know

trusting in Jehovah Jireh--the God who provides

is what i am called to

always

and especially right now

complete and utter faith that HE will work things out?

it's an amazing place to be

i don't know why He chose me to live this way

but i am so, so grateful

because the pure, unadulterated JOY that is a part of this?

is absolutely intoxicating.

Why am I Still Surprised?

I am constantly surprised. I'm not sure why, exactly, but I am.

I mean, I'm the one continually telling people
how faithful God is
how real His mercies are
and how I've been so trusting of Him over these last few months.

And then out of the blue He astonishes me with His provision.

I got off the phone around 2 pm today, sad.
I had just been told by a family that had mentioned the possibility of me becoming their nanny that they had decided to keep their 2 year old boy and newborn baby girl in school fulltime.
And while the conversation was good, and I fully support their decision, I was sad.
And worried.
And immediately on the phone and email channels trying to figure out what's next. Because even though nannying wasn't my first choice...
it was nice to have that offer "in my back pocket" in case a teaching position didn't work out.
I was beginning to be resigned to the life of a nanny.
I had begun to stop contacting the schools.
And this just set all that in motion once again.

However, Anne, as we ended our conversation asked me if I would mind being their "on call" person between now and when her parents arrive on the 4th. "Just in case" her water broke or she went into labor in the middle of the night. Just long enough for her husband's parents to drive up from Atlanta to take care of Mr Man (their 2 year old).
I said absolutely.

Not 4 hours later my phone rang.
It was Anne.
Not in labor, but in the hospital because of a car accident. Everything looks fine for her and baby girl, but since she's 2 weeks out from her due date they're monitoring her for 24 hours before allowing her to leave.
Could I stay overnight with Mr. Man so that her husband could stay with her? Of course, they'll pay me my normal rate for this time...

I hung up the phone, and after a prayer offered up for her and Baby Girl, and thanksgiving for their safety, I began to giggle.

Because as I'm worried about how the bills are going to be paid, I get an overnight babysitting job.

My God is a God who provides.

Isn't it funny...how when we least expect it...

I realize that it's not an all-powerful, moving mountains kind of story.
No oceans roaring.
No howling winds, no mighty thunderstorms.

But Elijah heard that still small voice
And today...I think I did too.

"I AM a God Who provides"

And suddenly...though I still wonder what's next...I'm not worried anymore.

My GOD is a GOD who Provides!

(a new Hillsong release that speaks to this better than my words can)

Desert Song

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow