Showing posts with label not so cute and cuddly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label not so cute and cuddly. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Saturday, June 20, 2009
and now...
I am sitting on my couch, with my foot elevated from my very first bee sting. From a bumblebee. On the arch of my foot. Needless to say, pretty painful.
(we went back to the zoo today to say goodbye to the white baby tigers, and on the way out to the car I got stung. Anthony was a wonderful caregiver though--carried me into the house, put a baking soda paste on the sting, and just generally made sure I was doing ok.)
It might get interesting when I have to sing at church tomorrow. Considering it hurts to put on a shoe, I'm thinking standing for 3 or more hours might not be so great.
It already is interesting at my house though. Walked ...er, hobbled in the door and was on the phone with Anthony to let him know I made it when I saw him...
I have another home invader.
A lizard is in my living room.
Note that I'm using present tense here. Yeah...I have no patience or energy to deal with getting him out. So for now, he's staying.
You'd think Emi would be interested. Nope.
Oh, and I may bum my very first cigarette soon. Apparently the absolute best thing to use on a sting is tobacco. I stopped at Walgreens to see if I could find anything for it, and that's what the pharmacist told me. Anthony's mom had already suggested it, actually. Who knew?
Got a light?
(we went back to the zoo today to say goodbye to the white baby tigers, and on the way out to the car I got stung. Anthony was a wonderful caregiver though--carried me into the house, put a baking soda paste on the sting, and just generally made sure I was doing ok.)
It might get interesting when I have to sing at church tomorrow. Considering it hurts to put on a shoe, I'm thinking standing for 3 or more hours might not be so great.
It already is interesting at my house though. Walked ...er, hobbled in the door and was on the phone with Anthony to let him know I made it when I saw him...
I have another home invader.
A lizard is in my living room.
Note that I'm using present tense here. Yeah...I have no patience or energy to deal with getting him out. So for now, he's staying.
You'd think Emi would be interested. Nope.
Oh, and I may bum my very first cigarette soon. Apparently the absolute best thing to use on a sting is tobacco. I stopped at Walgreens to see if I could find anything for it, and that's what the pharmacist told me. Anthony's mom had already suggested it, actually. Who knew?
Got a light?
*crawls out from under rock*
*blinks*
*rubs eyes*
Well, hello blog world! It has been forever since I've updated. In the time I've been gone I have
I'll leave you (for now!) with this gem.
So I'm sitting on the couch Wednesday night, watching tv. Mind you, this is probably the first time in a week the tv has been on longer than an hour. I'm watching, chugging along on my laptop with some work and I reach up to brush the hair off my shoulde...
It's not a hair.
It's a spider.
A big 'un.
Amazingly, my hand continued the sweeping motion and he fell to the floor (I know it was a he. What female do you know that would hop up on a fellow sister's shoulder without a little warning?!) It was only after he was safely off me that I began to worry. I stared at him, silent and wondering...
What if I get up to get a tissue and he moves and I can't find him and then he crawls upstairs and gets on me when I'm in bed and OH MY GOSH he's gonna crawl in my mouth.
And Emi is no help.
I finally have the presence of mind to remember a little piece of heaven sitting right next to me...
A box of Kleenex. (Puffs, actually, but who's counting?)
And triumphantly I carried him to his watery grave in the half-bath off the living room.
I want to go on record to say that never once did I make a sound throughout this whole ordeal. That's impressive, no? However, I immediately sent Anthony the following text:
Spider. On. My. Shoulder. Huge. Scared. Me. To. Death. Holy. Shit.
I still feel creepy crawly.
Another text I sent Anthony this week:
"The redneck comedy tour bus just cute me off in traffic. I can't even be mad, I was laughing so hard."
Really? Must they have their own tour? At least I know what bus NOT to get on now.
*crawls back under rock*
but promises to be back within 48 hours. Really.
*blinks*
*rubs eyes*
Well, hello blog world! It has been forever since I've updated. In the time I've been gone I have
- attended my 10 year high school class reunion (and poor Anthony was subjected to a weekend with the folks...but he survived)
- babysat some adorable kiddos
- completed one part of a c-r-a-z-y deadline, with 2 more to go within a few hours...one of which I still have NO materials for!
- randomly had a visit from my sister...
- and once in awhile slept in a bed or had a meal
I'll leave you (for now!) with this gem.
So I'm sitting on the couch Wednesday night, watching tv. Mind you, this is probably the first time in a week the tv has been on longer than an hour. I'm watching, chugging along on my laptop with some work and I reach up to brush the hair off my shoulde...
It's not a hair.
It's a spider.
A big 'un.
Amazingly, my hand continued the sweeping motion and he fell to the floor (I know it was a he. What female do you know that would hop up on a fellow sister's shoulder without a little warning?!) It was only after he was safely off me that I began to worry. I stared at him, silent and wondering...
What if I get up to get a tissue and he moves and I can't find him and then he crawls upstairs and gets on me when I'm in bed and OH MY GOSH he's gonna crawl in my mouth.
And Emi is no help.
I finally have the presence of mind to remember a little piece of heaven sitting right next to me...
A box of Kleenex. (Puffs, actually, but who's counting?)
And triumphantly I carried him to his watery grave in the half-bath off the living room.
I want to go on record to say that never once did I make a sound throughout this whole ordeal. That's impressive, no? However, I immediately sent Anthony the following text:
Spider. On. My. Shoulder. Huge. Scared. Me. To. Death. Holy. Shit.
I still feel creepy crawly.
Another text I sent Anthony this week:
"The redneck comedy tour bus just cute me off in traffic. I can't even be mad, I was laughing so hard."
Really? Must they have their own tour? At least I know what bus NOT to get on now.
*crawls back under rock*
but promises to be back within 48 hours. Really.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Thursday's Ten -- Time For a Little Laughter!
First of all, those of you who have commented sweetly on my last couple of posts have encouraged me greatly. I promise I wasn't trying to be a downer...just sharing my heart and part of my journey!
But I think a little lightheartedness is due on this blog!
So...
Ten Things that Make Me Laugh
1. Kids. They always say the funniest things.
(one of my favorite nannying moments was when the 2 year old told the restaurant hostess: "Lora needs some wine")
2. The $3.99 lazer pointer I bought for the cat to play with. Hi-larious.
3. Family Guy. Yeah, Anthony has me addicted.
4. Old episodes of Friends. When I'm feeling down, all I have to do is pop in one a dvd of Friends and life seems good again.
5. Girlfriends.
6. The woman I'm acting as caretaker for. I had to help her pick out a bra the other day (she found out I used to work at VS). She's always telling me things that make me giggle. Sometimes out loud...sometimes inside.
7. Teaching stories. My own, others. You can't make this stuff up!
8. My "skills" at certain video games. I LOVE playing, but I'm not necessarily "good". A indulges me. I'm determined to get to a level where I don't feel dumb playing with him all the time!
9. Myself. Soooo many crazy things happen to me on a semi-regular basis. I'm going to post a story I shared with my email friends a few years ago at the end of this.
10. blogs. There are some blogs that I go to regularly just for the humor within. And often leave with some pretty powerful thoughts too--some of you have such a gift for writing with humor and making us see beyond the surface.
**************************************************************************************************
Blast from the past:
I'm all about being an independent single woman.
And bugs? Bugs don't freak me out. Not really.
After all, I'm the one who made the rule at camp that if it's not bigger than your fist you're not allowed to scream. Bugs surprise me sometimes, and I'm not necessarily thrilled with them (especially the spiders who crawl up my drainpipe to die in my shower), but I'm not *scared* of them, and I'll take the necessary steps to eliminate them even if that's flushing them or spraying them with windex repeatedly.
BUT.
As I was grinding my coffee beans last night, as is my routine, Emi came into the kitchen and meowed while looking longingly at her food corner. This normally means she's out of something, and sure enough I noticed her water dish was low. I filled up a glass and when I bent down to fill the dish my eyes traveled to her food dish.
Now, I've been working in the garden a LOT lately, and mistakenly have left the door open to the patio a lot. The patio is off the kitchen.
Nestled in the corner of her food dish was a slimy looking gray...something.
I freaked.
Seriously.
And then figured out by careful (and faraway) inspection that it was a slug.
Now...my dad would have poured salt on it and thoroughly enjoyed it. I employed the help of a broom to first knock it off Emi's food dish. Then I shuddered and said "ew, ew, ew, ew, ew" I grabbed my garden shovel, but realized I didn't want to get close enough to scoop it up to throw it outside, and then if I DID throw it outside wouldn't I run into it again? So I shuddered again and said "ew, ew, ew, ew, ew". (which sounded more like "euhhhhhh" since I was thoroughly disgusted!) Finally I employed the cup trick. I grabbed a disposable cup from my "party" stash,{note: this was Lora's "pre-green phase"} and very carefully placed it over the top of the nasty little creature. My hope was that it would die under there (admittedly, cruel) before I slipped a piece of paper under it to scoop it up.
So tonight, after I got home from yoga I did just that--using a Geico advertisement. The last I saw of the slug it was in a trash bag which has been put in the outside garbage. I didn't take a long enough look to see if it was still alive...
So...THIS is why I need to get married.
But in the meantime, I'm taking applications for the immediate vacancy of "Gross Creatures Eliminator" at my house. Any takers?
and to make it better, this was one of the responses:
But I think a little lightheartedness is due on this blog!
So...
Ten Things that Make Me Laugh
1. Kids. They always say the funniest things.
(one of my favorite nannying moments was when the 2 year old told the restaurant hostess: "Lora needs some wine")
2. The $3.99 lazer pointer I bought for the cat to play with. Hi-larious.
3. Family Guy. Yeah, Anthony has me addicted.
4. Old episodes of Friends. When I'm feeling down, all I have to do is pop in one a dvd of Friends and life seems good again.
5. Girlfriends.
6. The woman I'm acting as caretaker for. I had to help her pick out a bra the other day (she found out I used to work at VS). She's always telling me things that make me giggle. Sometimes out loud...sometimes inside.
7. Teaching stories. My own, others. You can't make this stuff up!
8. My "skills" at certain video games. I LOVE playing, but I'm not necessarily "good". A indulges me. I'm determined to get to a level where I don't feel dumb playing with him all the time!
9. Myself. Soooo many crazy things happen to me on a semi-regular basis. I'm going to post a story I shared with my email friends a few years ago at the end of this.
10. blogs. There are some blogs that I go to regularly just for the humor within. And often leave with some pretty powerful thoughts too--some of you have such a gift for writing with humor and making us see beyond the surface.
**************************************************************************************************
Blast from the past:
I'm all about being an independent single woman.
And bugs? Bugs don't freak me out. Not really.
After all, I'm the one who made the rule at camp that if it's not bigger than your fist you're not allowed to scream. Bugs surprise me sometimes, and I'm not necessarily thrilled with them (especially the spiders who crawl up my drainpipe to die in my shower), but I'm not *scared* of them, and I'll take the necessary steps to eliminate them even if that's flushing them or spraying them with windex repeatedly.
BUT.
As I was grinding my coffee beans last night, as is my routine, Emi came into the kitchen and meowed while looking longingly at her food corner. This normally means she's out of something, and sure enough I noticed her water dish was low. I filled up a glass and when I bent down to fill the dish my eyes traveled to her food dish.
Now, I've been working in the garden a LOT lately, and mistakenly have left the door open to the patio a lot. The patio is off the kitchen.
Nestled in the corner of her food dish was a slimy looking gray...something.
I freaked.
Seriously.
And then figured out by careful (and faraway) inspection that it was a slug.
Now...my dad would have poured salt on it and thoroughly enjoyed it. I employed the help of a broom to first knock it off Emi's food dish. Then I shuddered and said "ew, ew, ew, ew, ew" I grabbed my garden shovel, but realized I didn't want to get close enough to scoop it up to throw it outside, and then if I DID throw it outside wouldn't I run into it again? So I shuddered again and said "ew, ew, ew, ew, ew". (which sounded more like "euhhhhhh" since I was thoroughly disgusted!) Finally I employed the cup trick. I grabbed a disposable cup from my "party" stash,{note: this was Lora's "pre-green phase"} and very carefully placed it over the top of the nasty little creature. My hope was that it would die under there (admittedly, cruel) before I slipped a piece of paper under it to scoop it up.
So tonight, after I got home from yoga I did just that--using a Geico advertisement. The last I saw of the slug it was in a trash bag which has been put in the outside garbage. I didn't take a long enough look to see if it was still alive...
So...THIS is why I need to get married.
But in the meantime, I'm taking applications for the immediate vacancy of "Gross Creatures Eliminator" at my house. Any takers?
and to make it better, this was one of the responses:
Lora,
Sorry about your near death experience but not at all disappointed to hear about the death of your slug. Just as a point of reference, when we lived in Washington you never went outside at night barefooted. Why, you may ask? Because out there they grow slugs the size of small bananas. I guess that’s why they are called banana slugs. Guess you’ll keep your doors shut tight from now on.
Love,
Kathryne
Sooo...what makes you laugh these days? Share please!
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