told you i'd be more positive...

i watched grey's anatomy tonight, as per my usual
and the end quote struck me, as it often does
i've shared the wisdom so often evident in those final words
on other blog posts of mine (like here and here)
and this one had to be shared too.

as a wanna-be runner...these words can easily be applied to the hiking, jogging, and 5Ks that i do.

they can also be applied to my current state of mind.
and i have hope, that i'm still scaling the side of this particular mountain.

wisdom of grey's:

they take pictures of mountain climbers at the top of the mountain
they're smiling
estatic
triumphant

they don't take pictures along the way
cause who wants to remember the rest of it?
we push ourselves because we have to
not because we like it

the relentless climb
the pain and anguish of taking it to the next level

nobody takes pictures of that

nobody wants to remember

we just want to remember the view from the top
the breathtaking moment at the edge of the world

that's what keeps us climbing
and it's worth the pain

that's the crazy part

it's worth anything.

- Grey's Anatomy, 2010

Thursday's Ten - Quotes

Ten Quotes that I Love

"There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your family. You take what fate hands you. And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope. Then there's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, clothe you, and take care of you until you're ready to go out into the world. There you find your own tribe."
-Grey's Anatomy

"The only work that will ultimately bring any good to any of us is the work of contributing to the healing of the world. "
- Marianne Williamson

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."
- W. Edwards Deming

"Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming"
- Dory, Finding Nemo

"If you've got one drink and one friend and 45 minutes. Slow rides make for boring stories. A little calamity...now that's worth talking about"
- Grey's Anatomy

"I think life chose me after all"
- Dar Williams

"Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love."
- St Francis of Assisi

"I get by with a little help from my friends"
- John Lennon

"Be the change that you want to see in the world"
- Gandhi

“A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.”
- Max Lucado

A Little Calamity...

"If you've got one drink and one friend and 45 minutes. Slow rides make for boring stories. A little calamity...now that's worth talking about"(Grey's Anatomy)

I got my Grey's fix tonight and watched last night's episode. It ended with that quote, and I immediately grabbed a pen to write it down. Well, ok. I actually paused the tv, opened my facebook quote edit page, AND googled the quote. But you get the idea.

At any rate, those words resonated with me. I think it's safe to say that I've not had a slow ride lately, and that there's been some calamity involved. Now...whether it's worth talking about or not, I guess you all will decide.

Most of you probably know or have heard that I lost my job 2 months ago. I have no idea why--honestly. I was given a total BS reason, and I've been searching for a new career ever since. I miss C a lot, although not nearly as much as I first feared.

What HAS happened positively over the last 2 months? Well, I've learned a lot about me. In the interest of getting to bed at a semi-decent hour I'm just going to make a short list.

1. I obtained a lot of my self-worth from what I did for work.
I actually started realizing this early on when I started nannying--because I always had to qualify when people asked me about my job. I never thought it sounded 'good enough' to just reply with nanny. I always made it clear that I had taught for 5 years, etc.
So when I LOST the nanny gig...my self-confidence scraped the bottom.

2. Sometimes it's ok to ask for help. And it's ok to accept help even when you haven't asked for it.
I've had to really humble myself--with borrowing money from my parents, with talking to lenders about why they aren't being paid, with accepting a scholarship to go on women's retreat this year.
A wise friend told me today: "Sometimes it's better to receive. To let someone else have the gift and blessing of helping you"
I've always loved to help others. It's been a very hard thing for me to accept help. That's pride, pure and simple, and I'm (somewhat) happy to report that it's fading. Quickly.

3. I do have the capacity to face crisis with dignity.
Several friends have told me how much they admire the way I've "handled" this. Well, it's not all me. That's for sure. I have a fantastic support system, and I'm learning to trust God like I never have before.

4. There is joy in the midst of sorrow.
My relationship with A began right as all of this was transpiring. And it's been an amazing blessing to have such a wonderful man in my life. He reminds me constantly that he thinks I'm beautiful, that he appreciates the passion I have for life, and we have SUCH wonderful honesty and communication.
This is not the only joyful surprise that God had for me in all of this, but it is one I am reminded of daily.

5. There is opportunity to help those in need even when I feel I don't have the resources.
I've discovered this in a few ways--friends who have needed rides because they locked their keys in the trunk of the car...a neighbor and friend whose brother was dying who needed errands run and her dog kept while family poured in for the funeral...another who needed to crash on the couch for a night or two to get better sleep than she was getting in the stressful home environment she found herself in.
I don't have to have a lot of money in the bank or a whole lot of resources to do these things. I just have to listen to what those I love need. I think after this whole experience I'll find myself a more empathetic and caring person.

So, where do I go from here? Hell if I know. But what I DO know is that I have a future. I have a hope, and I trust in the Father who knows what lies ahead.