...mic check...1...2...

what would i say about the months of silence?
well, nothing. 
what would i tell you about the things i haven't said in those months?
well, plenty

i would say that the payment i get in hugs and smiles and oh yeah illnesses ;-) far outweigh any paycheck i could ever receive

i would say that i never imagined that working in a preschool setting would be so rewarding

i would say that A and i are happier when the house is tidy. i would also say that when one of us is sick, it becomes a lot harder to keep tidy. we definitely work as a team around here, and i adore that

i would say that grown adults who know better can be vindictive and attempt to steal your joy because of their own bitterness all while wearing a sugary smile and proclaiming their love for Jesus
{i could write an entire series on the southern facade that i.desperately.hate. just be real for crying out loud. yanks have that one over southerners hands down}

i would say that only you can let someone steal your joy
{in other words, neener-neener, aforementioned person didn't win ;-) }

i would say that car shopping when you HAVE to car shop isn't as exciting as it seems to be
{moment of silence for lora's amazing passat...it finally died last month. and i have shed more than a couple of tears.}

i would say that fresh flowers in the house brighten my mood immensely. fresh flowers that my husband pick out for me just intensify that!

i would say that i fall more in love with texas each time i visit 
{year 2 for going on a missions trip to a children's home in the hill country. heart partially there}

i would say that getting your garden planted two months {two MONTHS} late just means a longer harvest period
{fingers crossed}

i would say that the God-encounters that you allow yourself to be aware of are more amazing that you could ever come up with by any stretch of your imagination

i would say that i have wanted to come type out long versions of each of these snippets and felt a block of some sort.  so for now they are snippets.  fuller versions on request...or as i have the time to tell them

but really, it doesn't matter what i have to say about the months between january and july.  we did a lot of living during those months.  times spent with great friends, playing board games, crashing on the couch to watch movies, having family over and A *finally* getting his youngest sister and i to watch the LOTR trilogy, taking time for a date night or two, celebrating my birthday and hosting gatherings for each of our best friend's birthdays, A speaking for the first time at our church plant...and there were also tears and hurt, and pain, and stress and confusion and wondering if we had made the right decisions about several things.

and that's life.

the next six months will hold much of the same, and i await it all expectantly.

life without pain means you forget to feel.  because of tears, i feel joy more radically.

i'm not going to make any promises i can't keep. but my desire is to be here, to be real, to live life authentically in this tiny blip in the internet where i get to have my real voice.

so for the good, for the bad, for all the lovely moments in between...here i am.

oh, and if you take the time to be sweet and comment please include what you drive and why you love it. did i mention car shopping is a pain?!


xoxo

A look back:

*for those of you wondering, the back is still out. The sinuses seem to be somewhat fading, but I've definitely made the back worse after there had been a significant improvement over the last couple of days. I think I've taken about 10 steps backwards, and just hope that future progress is positive!*

Ellen quote that sums me up right now:

"This morning I hopped right out of bed...and by hopped I mean it took 30 minutes, 6 Advil, a pulley system and a handful of sedatives to get me out of bed in a seated position. And I know that you're probably thinking 'Ellen, you shouldn't have to be taking Advil and sedatives together', but the Advil was for me and the sedatives were for Portia; the screaming is killing her...she's tired of hearing me scream."

Sad...but true. Substitute "Lora" for Ellen and "Anthony" for Portia, and you have the partial scenario of me trying to get up off the floor tonight. It was NOT pretty.

anyway, on to the real blogging!

It's been quite a year! Here's a brief look back...

January: New Year's at Anthony's parents house; began "driving Miss Nancy"; Inauguration of President Obama
February: good friend from college visited; sweet Valentine's day; last praise team retreat ever with Randy (although we had no idea)
March: one of my best friends from high school visited this month; 28th birthday
April: Dave Matthews Band concert...uh...I'm sure there were other fun things too. We did join the zoo this month...and I did have one CRAZY day!
May: Anthony and I traveled together for the first time--to see his aunt in Atlanta; started doing some consulting work
June: 10 year high school reunion and reconnection with Dotty; good friend Laura had her baby Israel (and began the many births of summer '09)
July: Camp with youth group + Anthony's family vacation = over 2 weeks apart! Ugh.
August: Laura and sweet baby Izzy spent a few days at my house; went to Texas to a friend's wedding with Anthony and our friend Ben; celebrated a year of dating the most wonderful man :); began working at Catholic Charities temporarily; found out that Randy and LaJuana were moving
September: visited the Jack Daniels distillery; found out about Sam's cancer
October: 2nd annual ghost tour; finally cut my hair to donate (after over a year of growth); went to my very first NFL football game (between my two favorite teams no less!)
November: Thanksgiving with Anthony's family
December: Christmas with Anthony's family; 2 trips to Indiana (one for the Colts game, one for Christmas); got to sing in a friend's Christmas show downtown; also sold jewelry offline for the first time!

Big Skies...

Shanda was right--we went to Texas this weekend for the wedding.

We left Thursday morning around 8 am and arrived just a few minutes before midnight in College Station.
facebook status at the end of the day: is happy to smell the smells of Texas, see mile-wide sunsets, and enjoy road trips with lots of laughter...but most of all at this moment is thankful for this Texas bed.

Friday we helped out with a bit of decorating, went to a great Tex-Mex place to lunch, and attended the rehearsal dinner (even though A & I weren't in the wedding...they invited us to join since we were the only non-party people to make the trek). After the dinner I went out with the bride and her bridesmaids to a little bar where I enjoyed a yummy mojito.

Saturday A and I ran errands--got requested coffee for people back home, barbeque sauce for others, and ate lunch at Rudy's...which is the BEST barbeque ever. I got some sauce for myself, and I don't even LIKE barbeque sauce that much. This stuff though? Amazing.
The wedding was at 2 and we were on the road again at 6:30. After a wine explosion in the backseat (did you know that corks pop out in heat? Did you know Texas is...hot? Did you know that having wine in a non-upright position in a hot Texas car is NOT a great plan?) we did have to stop at Wal-Mart on the way out to get some upholstery cleaner and a vacuum pump wine seal to salvage my sangria! We (amazingly) made it back in time to catch the last part of the 9:00 service at church where one of our students was being baptized.
facebook stati throughout this experience:
is picking up groceries for the greater Nashville area, and was quite excited to see a great wine selection in the grocery store. Could get used to this Texas thing...
hair actually stays straight in Texas. Perhaps she should stay.
really doesn't care if it's Texas or Tennessee...she just wants out of Arkansas

And I think I may finally be caught up on sleep. We shall see.

Beautiful Texas Sky

We have sunsets that are pretty in TN too...we just can't really SEE them

Boys Love Football

Aggie War Hymn at the reception. This cracked me up!

A and I