i was typing an explanation of our wreath on a reply the other day and realized
i was talking about much more than a wreath.
you see, when we started talking about decorating our door for christmas
i wanted a simple berry wreath
you know, little red berries...nothing hugely fancy but something a little different
definitely non-traditional
it became apparent pretty early on that a berry wreath wasn't going to fly.
anthony only liked evergreen wreaths
"you know, the traditional kind"
uh-oh
i couldn't think of a way to make a traditional wreath look good
(to me)
until
i spotted fresh pine wreaths at trader joes
and not only did it smell amazing, i thought
"i can work with this"
and so
i went and bought my berry wreath at target
and tied the two together
and what happened
was kind of amazing
both wreaths on their own were perfectly fine
beautiful, in fact, in different ways
and many people would put them up just as they originally were
nothing wrong with that
but the two together made a wreath that
(to anthony and i at least)
is better than either original wreath
they belong together
it's kind of like us, really
anthony and i were fine on our own
but we're better together
and that's not where the similarity stops
see, we had to replace the original pine wreath
because it browned
because WE failed to water it properly
it needed attention
a bit of misting every day
just like us...we need to give our relationship
a bit of attention each day
when i think of it in terms like these
the simple wreath on our front door
means even more to me.
It happened when we were watching the memorial for Steve McNair.
Anthony made the comment that he couldn't imagine how the family of the woman Steve was found dead with (who presumably shot him and then herself) feels. He said "how do you have a memorial service for someone who just committed a murder-suicide?"
And after a couple of minutes I made the statement: "One decision doesn't define a person's life."
I'm sure her family remembers the wonderful attributes she must have had, the little girl she once was. That's what I meant.
But that statement has been haunting me for days now. DOES one decision sometimes define a person's life?
For the last year or so I've certainly thought that my decision to leave the classroom defined life in the moment for what it was. But that has no bearing on how I actually define "me".
I certainly think and hope that my decision to accept Christ has defined my life.
But has it really?
So by making that statement was I actually saying that one bad decision doesn't define a person's life?
And if that's true, can I even accept it?
Because truth be told, I'll never know about the wonderful person I'm sure she was. And though I love who Steve McNair was, part of me will always remember how and why he died. It doesn't change that he was a wonderful person on and off the football field. But it does reshape my view of him somewhat.
The fact of it is...all of us make a bad decision here and there. And while I still maintain that those decisions don't define us...I do think they mold us differently than we once were. Just like the good decisions we make.
It's life, I suppose.
