and the reason we talked about nuts and dried cherries yeterday...

guess what?
it's wedding related.  :D
(had you already guessed that?)

anthony and i had a tough time trying to figure out how to deal with reception food

first of all, we didn't CARE what we served
secondly, we didn't want to spend a ton of money.  and let's face it...there's a LOT of money wrapped up in food for as many people as we are inviting to this.
thirdly, we still wanted to be creative

this presented more than a few problems.

but one day, after coming to the conclusion that just serving nuts and mints may as well be the way we went since 'spectacular' isn't in our budget
we came up with an idea

what if...
we created a 'make your own trail mix' bar?
and the wheels started turning

right now, what it looks like
is metal scoops
antique-like candy containers
and handwritten cards labeling each one

i have a great group of people who have individually and collectively
offered to help with anything we need
so a couple of them will be responsible for keeping these filled
and others will be doing other things which you'll hear about eventually

this will be the 'favor' too...
but i'll explain how that works later ;-)

abundance

tonight as anthony and i left his apartment to go have dinner with some of his family

we saw a squirrel dashing across the yard and into a tree

with a HUGE nut of some sort in it's mouth

after the obligatory "nut" jokes 

(yes, we're 12 years old!)

we remarked that it was actually pretty impressive

that he was able to move so agilely 

with such a huge load

after all, the nut was literally bigger than his mouth

(this wasn't our squirrel.  image courtesy of google images)

it made me wonder

if the squirrel really thought of it as a burden

a load

something that HAD to be done

or if he considered it abundance

something bigger than he could have dreamed of

a solitary piece of food that he can feast on for awhile

hmmm.

i have a lot of things in common with that squirrel.

sometimes i see things as a burden, when they are actually God's abundance

sometimes a load i'm bearing is actually leading me to a blessing that's bigger than i could imagine

something that seems like a chore is preparing me to feast on His richest food

i think that over the last few months

that's become very real to me

losing my house was a release

releasing me into blessings that are immeasureable

i no longer have the worry of how i'm going to pay the mortgage

because there is no mortgage

and some weeks i literally sit back and LAUGH

as God POURS money my way

and i'm ENJOYING my work

i love what i do

i feel like it matters

and i'm so.incredibly.thankful

for the things in my life that most would consider trials

because for me...they've become some of my richest blessings

abundance

i'm SO blessed

Thursday's Ten: promises

i feel like it's important (for me at least) to do this every once in awhile. so here are the promises i'm making myself as of right now, in this moment.

1. i will not worry about money and where this or that payment will come from. thus far, God has provided my every NEED...why would i think that would change?

2. i will enjoy each moment instead of focusing on what's "wrong" with my life/finances. in the grand scheme of things, i'm so incredibly blessed...and it's only when people outside of myself start wondering aloud how i'm handling things or what's going on that i start questioning. i need to remember something my dad always quoted: "there's nothing that will happen today that God and i can't handle together"

(erm, i may have gotten a huge hospital bill last night since my insurance is crappy and been doing a bit of concerned thinking...)

3. i will enjoy time spent with children...even if they are whiney and argumentative with each other. it's tennessee, it's summer, and it's hot...we're all whiney.

4. i will continue getting active, continue my routine with WiiFit, and finally get up the nerve to go for a walk/run even though i'm afraid of an asthma flare-up. guess what? that's what my inhalor is FOR!

5. i will learn to can foods, specifically tomatoes. i read not too long ago that eating canned tomatoes from the store is awful for you and that if you must buy them you should look for glass jars instead. i figure if i preserve the ones i grow myself in glass jars i'll be one step better :)

(and yay for money saved...i use a LOT of canned tomatoes when i cook italian foods!)

6. i will take a hard look at composting. now that i live in a neighborhood where curbside recycling is available, it's much easier to be green in that regard...next steps would be compost and rain barrel...perhaps not this summer, but soon.

7. i will take a few moments each day to be intentionally grateful

8. i will continue 'settling in' at a reasonable pace

9. i will take emi to the vet for a check up

10. i will spend more time with those i love

Thursday's Ten: Reasons I Suck

No excuses tonight, just a very real list of very real suckage



1. I haven't blogged for nearly a week
2. I'm having trouble with actually eating 2 full meals a day lately. Not on purpose. My schedule has imploded, my days and nights are confused, and I often get to 3 pm and realize I missed lunch. So that means dinner plus a heavy unhealthy snack. This is clearly not making my weight-loss goals happen any faster
3. I have slacked off big-time on exercise. But I did hit the greenway tonight and plan to go again tomorrow if time allows and Saturday if it does not. And both if life turns out perfectly!
4. People around me are hurting and I can't be there for them like I'd like. This includes my boyfriend and his family, who are amazing and wonderful to me...
5. My cat may be sick (she keeps wheezing) and I am worried about the vet bill. On a positive note, she hasn't wheezed at all since Tuesday, so I'm hopeful that whatever it was has now passed.
6. I have a wedding to be in early May and I haven't bought my dress yet because I can't even pay my freaking bills...how can I justify over $100 for a dress?!
7. My temporary job (which I have been sooooo grateful for) ends this week. So I'm stressed to the MAX about what I'm going to do for income. I know that I know that I know that God provides, but I'm still worried. Even though the past year and a half have taught me so much about reliance on Him and that money is not as major as it seems.
8. I barely managed to get a jewelry order done in time for a friend even though I've known about it for months. Thankfully it turned out beautifully and she is grateful (and has no idea that I...forgot about it...for forever).
9. I lost a contact last night and literally spent hours crawling around on the floor and looking under sofa cushions for it. Never found it. Am concerned about how much an eye exams+new contacts will cost...and am literally down to my last one now.
10. People have said (online and in person) this week that they admire my positivity and good outlook on things through this whole unemployment bit. And most of the time, they're right. I've remained pretty positive and stayed on the happy side of life, but there are times like today that I feel anything but. And clearly, that's coming through in this blog post.

I hesitated about posting this, truly. I try to stay positive here and not be a whiny crybaby...but it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to. I promise to make the next post back to the normally scheduled program of cheer :)

(on a very positive note, I start teaching private voice lessons in early April. and there's a possibility of a nanny job from end of April-August which will take me right into the school year. I'm going to either be teaching in August or nannying for a friend, so I know if I can make it through the next month and a half...I'll be ok.)

So, uh, I'm not mcklinkying this. If you want to create a list of reasons you suck, let me know and I'll visit you. If you want to create a list of why I suck, please don't let me know ;)