monday's memory: the one with the return home

ok, it's been awhile. so i'm just jumping back in. and i'm going to use my normal "monday memory" slot to catch up on what's been happening in our lives the past couple of years.

so.

i worked at an amazing inclusive preschool for 4 years. i learned SO.MUCH there about myself, about managing others, about children with needs far beyond what i would have imagined, and about dealing with the drama of working with a staff of 80% females! 

for awhile i could seriously imagine myself doing this forever.

and then it happened.

i realized, as i taught music to the children (ages 6 weeks to 7 years) how much i LOVED and MISSED teaching music.

and so i began daring to dream a little. it was as if God was whispering in my ear to hope.

i had always kept my application current with my former school system, but nothing seemed to materialize. i had applied in other systems as well, but nothing piqued my interest.

and then a friend who taught at the very elementary school i had passed many times on the way to teach piano lessons told me their music teacher was leaving.  it was an elementary school in the one of the most affluent counties, with a great population to work with, unlimited resources and parents who were highly involved.

i interviewed. i realized about midway through the interview that i didn't want to work here. as much as the school was amazing and i would be working with a wonderful group of people...i just did not want that job.

{release}

my current boss called me into her office in the midst of this and told me that i would be able to teach in a classroom in the fall if i wanted.  the open room was the 4 year old room, and i knew it would be challenging but great. and it was what i had truly wanted to do for a couple of years. i accepted, knowing that if i found out anything from the school system i would be able to tell her in plenty of time for her to put a deserving assistant teacher in that role.

{security}

and yet, i felt like i heard the Holy Spirit whispering "keep dreaming..."

in may i attended a conference at a church nearby, and was really encouraged by several of the messages.  but on my way home one night i found myself talking to God...really baring my soul to Him.

i told Him that i knew He placed the desire and talents within me to want to teach middle school, and that He knew my heart was to teach in my former system again. i had been searching daily and there were NO middle school positions, so i was so frustrated so i literally asked Him to release me from this deep desire or to let it materialize.

i wasn't despairing. but i was weary.

and two days later i received a message from a former assistant principal of mine that there was a potential opening in her {middle} school that was 10 minutes away from my house.

through her communication i finally leaped the last hurdle with my application and got the green light for interviews.  the music dept head for the system was incredibly impressed by my credentials and told me that she would be thrilled to have me back.

and i interviewed at the school. and it was fine. and while i was in the interview i got a voice mail from the principal of the school down the road, the one only 3 minutes from my house, the one connected to the greenway that i had literally walked dozens of times and prayed over the school and the people in it.

{talk about sowing into your future!}

and she interviewed me over the phone on a saturday while she was on vacation. and by the end of our conversation she told me i would have an email by day's end on monday with an offer.

i've been there since august.
and no, not every day has been wonderful. not every student has come to me and showered me with praise about what an amazing teacher i am.
[who am i kidding...i teach middle schoolers. they give me major attitude on a daily basis!]

but i am where i belong.
i am doing what i am supposed to be doing.
and i am thrilled.

over a 3 month period, God literally let me have a chance to do the things i thought i wanted. and continued to encourage me to dream bigger.

i'm so glad i took His challenge.

monday's memory: u2 in nashville

last year we took a walk from anthony's parents house

and entered the spaceship...er, vanderbilt's stadium

 u2 was absolutely amazing.  which doesn't surprise anyone i'm sure :-)  but since they ARE my favorite band, there were several especially special moments for me...the one where bono began singing "amazing grace" and a stadium full of people joined in (in harmony, as nashville is prone to do :-).  

 the one where a blind guy requested a song during the encore and bono brought him up on stage, handed him his guitar to play it on ...and after he was finished bono told him to keep the guitar (!).

there were some of my favorite songs played and many just plain amazing moment. 

and there was anthony's and my favorite moment, where bono ended a song by singing the word "blessings" over and over and waved them over the crowd. 

they say that u2 concerts are spiritual experiences.  that night i found out why.

we can't wait for our next one!

*all photos in this post were taken either with my camera or by anthony's aunt sherrie who also had kick-awesome seats on the other side of the stadium and therefore had different angles :-)

monday's memory: the one that started long before me

the little town i grew up in didn't have much diversity
and so, how this little white girl from farmland, usa
ended up with such a heart for inner city families from seemingly the other end of the spectrum
is truly God at work


but i did
i flirted with working in other much wealthier and prestigious systems
but knew for my teaching career
i would be happiest where i could pour myself into those children


i cried on my way home from work
for the first several weeks
because i could go home
to a cozy apartment on the lake
and these children?
were stuck


they didn't ask to be born into this
and yet...they were in their own way happy


i fell head over heels in love with those kids
and the next group, and the next
students joined my choir and gave me the utmost respect
who were nightmares for every other teacher in the building
they told me it was because i was different


i smiled the only time a student told me i was "racist"
because the rest of the statement was "toward white people!"
(at that point i reminded her that i too was white...
and every other student in that multi-colored beautiful classroom
burst into laughter)


i began to see Martin Luther King in a whole new light
and while so much of his dream, his vision
for equality and harmony
have been realized


so much of it has not


so here's to today
where we stop comparing other social injustices and issues
to the Civil Rights movement
because there is still much to do


most of my friends of every nation and color are in the same socioeconomic class as i am
it just so happens that most of the circles i find myself in these days
don't include the stark poverty that i immersed myself in day after day as a teacher
(and let's get this clear: i taught poor white kids too.  they are included in this
after all, MLK's message of inclusion and equality
wouldn't exclude them either.  right? :-) )


and i have to be honest
that while i know that i'm right where i'm supposed to be
i do miss being able to invest in that community


please don't hear that the other social injustices
the awful problem of homelessness that consistently tugs on my heart strings
the despicable treatment of portions of our population by people bearing the name of Christ
the abuse that spouses and children suffer at the hands of those who claim to love them most


please don't hear me say they don't matter
because they do


but a significant part of my heart is with my former students
and the families and homes they represent
what a beautiful heritage and culture of overcoming
may they truly overcome
the stigma, the poverty, the desperation


may God raise up more people who will invest and nurture these children
their parents and their grandparents
and let them know
that the dream is still alive


i'll dream that dream...
will you?

monday's memory: the one with the rings

it began with my engagement ring, so that is where i'll begin

anthony had researched (and researched. and researched)

and was going to a few local places to see some rings in person

(he and i strongly desire to support local businesses over national chains, so it's really no surprise that there were no nationally recognized jewelry stores on his list)

he walked in with his sister kat

and was initially shown a few rings

but none appealed (some weren't "right" and some were way too expensive)

the sales woman asked him what his budget was

he told her

she immediately went to a case and pulled out a ring

saying it was the highest quality ring he could get in that price range

there are all sorts of details

caret, clarity, etc

the fact that the side stones were cut specifically for the center stone

all that

all i know is...

it's gorgeous

and it's mine...a beautiful gift from my now husband.

picking out our wedding bands was something we were excited about

however, we were trying to stick to a very strict budget

so we were fairly certain it would be cheapo bands for each of us

mine was an easy pick

i tried on a couple and quickly narrowed it down

although my engagement band is platinum

we settled on a thicker white gold band for my ring

a band that was similarly sized to the engagement band just got lost

so this, to me, was the perfect complement

literally, took about as long as it took for me to type the sentences about it

to pick out my ring.

his ring was another story

men's rings are expensive!

but we finally found the PERFECT ring

 he liked that my engagement ring had 3 stones in it

kind of a constant reminder of trinity

or of the relationship between our coupleship and God

his ring is cobalt.

it's a strong metal, much stronger than gold or platinum

(i don't think he's look at it this way, but i love the symbolism of strength there)

but his (and my) favorite part

is that the two rings are fused together with a gold colored braid in between

two rings...two lives joining

with a special thread...God...in the center

love them.

they're perfect for us

monday's memory: the one with the flowers

guess who's finally uploaded all the photos from our professional photographer?
so...on with the wedding posts...huzzah!


i knew i wanted something simple in the way of flowers for our wedding

first of all, hello seasonal allergies.  who wants to spend their wedding day sneezing and hearing everyone else sniffle?

i began to look around for bargains on flowers and my friend Mandy told me about a place to go.  basically a floral wholesaler (where all the florists in nashville get their flowers) that you order from 10 days before the event and pick them up a couple of days before.

since we were on a Budget we really didn't look past this.  and we were able to get every single flower for my bouquet, the flower girls, all 7 bridesmaids, and all the tables for under $250.


considering i went with orchids and mini calla lilies (which incidentally were more expensive)...that's saying something.

we DID have to create our own bouquets.  for my girls, i wanted a simple spray of orchids.  i loved the classy simplicity!















for me, i also wanted the orchids with a bit of a red pop.  Mandy and the other bridesmaids put my bouquet together and i was thrilled with the result

and my flower girl had a small grouping of white calla lilies...just a sweet little bouquet to set her apart :-)

i love how he's charming her with her own flowers.  SO stinkin cute!

we also placed a bouquet of calla lilies in the front to honor our deceased grandparents.




 


i'll be showing you the flowers at the reception in the coming weeks...so that's it for wedding for the day :-)


happy monday!


(all photos in this post were taken by our amazing photographer and her assistant.  if you're in nashville...seriously people...she's awesome!)

monday's memory: the one with the baby shower

about 2 years ago, we gathered to celebrate the upcoming birth

of a little boy

friends of ours were expecting their first, and we gathered for a shower

one of the take-homes for the couple was a photo album with pictures of the shower guests

anthony and i were in charge of the camera

and we got a bit bored of normal poses

so this is what our picture for the book ended up being :-)

what wonderful craziness life brings

that baby was finn

the child i took care of all last school year

what a blessing to have been there from the beginning :-)

he still gets excited when he sees me

(i'm hoping that never ends)

and i love the friendship that anthony and i share with his parents

full circle sometimes happens quicker than you expect

my time nannying for finn has ended

(although they've asked if i will please be a regular babysitter.

i had no problem saying yes!)

and i now work with other families as well as other jobs

(which i will tell you about soon)

but relationship

that continues

and i am so blessed

to be surrounded by SO MANY

great people

God has given us community

spread over several states,

a few churches

and many different walks of life

but i wouldn't trade this set of quality folks in my life

for anything!

monday's memory: the one with the awesome pub picture

one of our favorite photos of the two of us
ever
taken at the pub last february, by our friend natasha

monday's memory: the one where it's pretty fresh on my mind...

after much thought, consideration and prayer
anthony and i have come to a decision
to stop dating.



last night, we went to dinner at this fantastic gourmet burger place around the corner from his place.
(seriously gourmet, i had a lamb burger!)

while we were there, anthony mentioned that he had left his journal at church that morning.  since it was on the way back to my house, we decided to stop and get it on the way back.

then his aunt texted me to say that she was dropping our girl scout cookies off at his parents house, would we be around there tonight?  i told her we could stop by in a few minutes.  but anthony wanted to go to the church first.

so we drove up to the church and saw that there was a funeral being held upstairs.  anthony made the wise decision to park to the side a bit and walk in the side door, crossing his fingers that it was open (it was).  he walked inside.

and i waited.
and waited.
and waited.
i was occupied enough with twitter and facebook and words with friends for awhile
but then i noticed that 30 minutes had gone by

i began to get annoyed.
thinking there must be something REALLY personal in this journal
or that he had run into someone he knew and got caught up talking
but SURELY he would have texted me to let me know that had happened...
perhaps he was sick or something...
but SURELY he would have called/texted to say that

and then i got a notification from words with friends
saying that he'd made a move in our game
so i KNEW he was ok

and so i played back and in the "chat" wrote something on the order of
"you've been in there a LONG time.  what are you doing??"

no response.

s.t.e.w.i.n.g

his sister texts me, saying her mom was wondering if we were going to be there soon
i reply that i seem to have lost her brother.
i text him
i wait
i call him
(45 minutes have gone by)
i may have mentioned in my voicemail that his phone had rang several times, so i was pretty sure he was getting reception...
his sister calls me
she suggests i go look for him
i say maybe

i finally get fed up enough to emerge from the car.
and go downstairs to the teen center
now, remember that there is a FUNERAL going on upstairs.
so when i crack open the doors and see candles, i panic and close them thinking "it's a vigil area!"

so i go to the only other place i can think of
i begin knocking on the men's bathroom door
and am thisclose to opening it
when anthony emerges from the teen center
saying "you are one stubborn woman."

and of course, i'm going "what are you DOING in there?!"
he tells me to come in
and i do, still a bit upset

and then i notice his sister's flip video camera on the counter
and hear him begin making a speech
about how this is the place we met, this is the place it all began
and all of a sudden i'm not quite so angry anymore
and then he drops to one knee
and the next thing i know
i'm an engaged woman
(eeeek!)

the next few hours were spent calling and texting and hugging
(his aunt that texted me asking if we were coming to his parents?  had NO.CLUE.  she had been invited over, and just *happened* to text to see if we were coming.  her reaction may have been my favorite -- jaw dropping in slow motion upon seeing my finger.)
(his sister and roommate were in the building...hiding in one of the adjacent rooms.  they burst out after the ring was on my finger.)
(his other sister, when i walked into the house screamed "WE GET ANOTHER SISTER!!")

so yes, we've decided to stop dating
and take the next step
:)
we're hoping for a particular church and are kind of going to set a date based on availability...
and there are TONS of other details to be dealt with
although i hold to my statement i have always made
that really, i just want a pretty dress
and people we love surrounding us

(this, by the way, means our guest list is already looking huge.  gulp.)

i promise to show you better pictures of the ring
when i, um, figure out how to TAKE a better picture of the ring!
he picked it out by himself
and drove up to indiana last thursday to ask my dad's permission
(which is a total southern thing...but so incredibly sweet and charming)

i'm thrilled
(obviously)
and so excited that it's official
that i get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend :D

you know the *really* funny thing?
after all that drama...

...he still left his journal at church...

monday's memory: the one with air force one

while i was teaching, the strings teacher next door to me was a pilot in his spare time.
as in, had his own hanger behind his house, his own little plane.
(WAY cool, right?)

one day he came to school and told the band teacher and i that the President was coming into town
AND that since they had temporarily closed a couple of runways, the only flight path he could possibly be flying in came right over our school
our football field, to be exact

so we held class outside that day
and our kids got a kick
(as did we)
of seeing air force one fly over

:)