...commitment...

this past saturday
in a small kansas city church
two people stood before a minister
and pledged their love for one another
they were surrounded by family (more for one than the other)
friends
and a supportive community
words were spoken to bless their "commitment" and their life together
and hardly anyone seemed to notice
that they were both men

i noticed
after all, one of them is my brother
and i was sitting next to his children on one side
who love him dearly,
even if they still harbor hurt and pain from the way their parents split
and my boyfriend on the other
who had never been to anything like this ever in his life

there are few topics i won't touch on this blog
religion/faith
politics
the relation of the two
my opinions on a multitude of things
all those are pretty much fair game

but this is one
that i won't
(at least not that i can forsee)
because i would have a hard time talking about
something as if i knew how i felt about it
when i haven't got a clue

when you're raised to believe one way
but experiences share a different view
when you're taught one thing
but your heart...well, you have one.

this much i do know:
i love my brother
the man walking beside him is sweet, funny, and sincere
and there is a genuine love between them

this much i also know:
God loves them too
and they love Him

beyond that...
i don't have to know

and THAT
is an amazing release

ps in case anyone is all "reporting to the authorities" or whatever: this was a commitment ceremony, NOT a wedding or civil union. it was held in a sacred space to profess their commitment to each other in front of a community. that's all.

fitness friday: the non-edition

fitness friday will return next week

i'm a little overwhelmed with car stuff, packing, and cleaning.

so...yeah.

fyi, i'm entertaining the idea of having guest posts on fitness friday. so many of you have such wonderful fitness routines or healthy eating habits--i'd love for some of you to share those here! please let me know if you're interested in that!

i'm hoping to catch up on reading blogs this weekend and early next week...unfortunately my life has been consumed with other things this week :(

much love to you all!

Thursday's Ten: the "new" car edition

ugh.

car shopping is exhausting.

it's especially exhausting when your car was 7 years old, and the payment from the insurance is reflective of that.

it's especially exhausting when you have little money of your own to couple with it...and when you don't at ALL want to go down the road of financing because the only dealers who will finance a recent foreclosure are going to be basically loan sharks (plus, you don't want a car payment. at all.)

sigh.

but then i remember that God has amazingly provided for me countless times this year

and so

why not now?

i remember texting some good friends that the car may be totaled, that i was really sad about that (Ali was my BABY), but that maybe this was God's way of saying "ok...now here's a new car".

and so i said "bring it!"

(still hopeful that i could have MY car back. but no, not this time)

i mean, really. in the last 4 months i've been stripped from the house that i loved and the car that i loved...and both were "taken" away. in the house's case, it was due to a humongous error on the mortgage company's part. in the car's, it was due to me parking on the street and the wrong person coming down the road to play tackle football with my car. yes, i played a part in both...yes, i can shoulder some of the blame in both cases. but in no way was either completely my fault.

which is kind of nice. no shame there.

SO.

since God is clearly up to something here

i'm making a list of what i'd like in a car. a couple of them are non-negotiables (the sunroof, for example. i seriously get a slight case of SAD when the time changes in the fall, and i NEED to have access to the sun). the others are just "what the heck. why not ask for this too?"

1. sunroof (or a convertible...haha)

2. a color that i love. this is different for me based on what kind of car it is, since different cars look good in different colors to me.

3. i'm not picky about leather or cloth interior...but IF leather, then i must have heated seats

4. good sound system (i'm not one of those lovely bass boomin' people at stoplights, but i do like to get in a groove)

5. a sporty look. please, please, no boring sedans. sedans with a sporty edge, sure.

6. good gas mileage. i'm not opposed to an SUV, i just want it to get decent mileage

7. lowish mileage. i drive a lot. i have family scattered all over. i'd like to get a few years out of the car.

8. trunk access in a car (rear fold-down seats, preferably 60/40 split). suv, well that doesn't so much matter.

9. FUN to drive

10. a good value. i don't want to rip anyone off, but i certainly don't want to be ripped off either. i would prefer not to use my entire insurance settlement...i'd like a few hundred dollars leftover to stock away in savings for awhile.

what would you add if you were me? (or you were looking)

craigslist, etc

i've spent a lot of time on craigslist this week

(ps, my car is totaled)

(pps, i'm a little angry at this point that the jerk/coward/insert other words who hit and totaled it sped away and most likely got away with it)

anyway, there's a lot to laugh at on craigslist. ever noticed that?

here's a few gems from my search tonight.

there's the run on sentence ads

hello i have a 2004 softail custom have invested over 30k in this bike i love this bike but am ready to do some traveling and need some where to tote the old ladies crap..lol this bike had custom wheels 21 front and a 18 rear a 250/40/18 rear tire it also has a rev tech 100ci motor and a revtech 6 speed tranny and a 3 inch open primary this bike is a dalily driver when i can fins the time and has less than 5k miles on this bike custom paint and custom bars have been in some shows and always came out a winner it truley a real head turner color is black with lite purple tribal ghost flames bike was dyno out and has 96 hp and 96 f/p of touqre at the rear wheel this bike is a blast to ride im looking to trade for a good road king or a street glide no junk because this bike is far from junk

the witty

Bags of cotton velvet scraps. good for crafting; making crazy quilts, if you are crazy enough to try that. That was my goal, but not likely to happen-not to go crazy, but to make that quilt.

the yelling/overenthusiastic ad

1995 FORD CONTOUR V6 (WILL NOT START MUST BE TOWED!!!!!) AUTOMATIC LEATHER AND ALL POWER OPTIONS> THIS RAN UNTIL A FEW DAYS AGO IT TURNS OUT THE WIRES ARE ALL ROTTEN AND WILL HAVE TO BE REPLACED OR USE IT FOR PARTS I AM THE SECOND OWNER AND THIS CAR IS CLEAN AND WELL TAKEN CARE OF MOTOR IS STRONG TRANSMISSION IS STRONG I LOVE THIS CAR ITS VERY FUN TO DRIVE ALL WHEEL ABS DISC BRAKES FRONT AND BACK FULLY INDEPENDANT SUSPENSION DRIVER SEAT NEEDS RECOVERING ALL OTHER INTERIOR PARTS ARE PERFECT!!!!! SORRY i DONT HAVE A WAY TO POST PICTURES IF YOU NEED PARTS JUST CALL ME AT 6154 NINE FIVE FIVE SEVEN FIVE ZERO ANYTIME JASON

(i left that phone number in because there are way too many digits...)

the bomb-drop after you get excited about the car

2000 Volkswagen Jetta VR6
155,000 Miles
Leather Interior/ Heated Seats/ Sunroof / CD/ AM/FM /Power Everything
Looks PERFECT -- however, the engine will not turn over. Had mechanic check it out, motor needs to be replaced.

Call me if you have any questions --
Barry 615 000-0000

the read several times before you understand...

I have two wingback chairs burgandy and biege slim stripes . And I also have a sette that has burgandy,beige silky wide stripes it is so cute asking 65.00 For all three pieces 135.00.e-mail or call 615-000-0000. THANKYOU FOR LOOKING!! or 615-000-0000 on wed.s

the buy your own instant garage sale

$75.00 for five boxes stuffed with value. Great working Magnovox vhs/dvd player + remote, toaster, kitchen supplies, VHS tapes, shoes (some new), great working Dewalt drill with two batteries and charger, Altec Lansing speaker that work great, kids shoes, coats, etc... Everything is on a cart ready to roll out. This stuff will go fast. I will not split anything up. ONLY SOME OF THE STUFF IS SHOWN $75.00 obo

the...wait a second

Need "little People" Musicians, must really play. Funded project. Be able to travel, have passport or ability to get one. Fun comic/music gig. Too much to tell here... gotta keep it undercover for now. No exploitation involved. Serious inquiries only, must be over 21. Needing 1-guitarist, 1bassist, 1-drummer, 1-keyboard player (this position can be a taller person) Singing ability a big plus, quick studies needed. Need to have a team player attitude, no drugs or drunks, must have all health issues under control. This is gonna be as much fun as it is profitable for the entire team. If you are this type entertainer or know of some people please get in touch. The actual rehearsals will take place in the most convenient area to most of the members. There will be compensation during rehearsal as well

.

the many misspellings in a short space

I need fish inside or outside please tex or call me at 615-000-0000
or any aqriums and rocks ty and god bless

the jobs i would never take

Needing women that are height and weight proportionate and comfortable with being nude with and in front of other people. We are putting on an adult rated haunted house for the month of October, 4 days a week with the final week being 7 days. This is a unique opportunity and awesome potential to make a large sum of money and that will be discussed upon answering this ad.

and the just plain...weird.

Awesome real cowhide rug
full size aprox 7 1/2 ft long
Bought for well over double what I am selling it for, but I moved and ran out of rooms!
black and white print

It's a Great Day to Shop Tax Free

the person who used to host weekend wordles is apparently not doing it anymore...but that won't stop me from posting mine anymore!

however, six word saturday is still alive and well :)

finally got to sleep in -- ahhhh!

i've just caught up on my sleep. i think...

or

tax free weekend here -- watch out!

yeah...it's a good, but crazy time. i do need a few things here, but most of them (unfortunately) don't fall into that tax free thing. ah well :) i DO have a few coupons and deals to go and grab, so i'm planning out my trip right now. here goes nothing!

fitness friday: tracking, tracking, tracking

so, anyone who is serious about losing weight or getting more active intends to track their meals and exercise

i don't know about you, but food diaries always worked for me for awhile. then i'd forget to put a meal in, continue forgetting, and then try to think back to what on earth i'd had the day before much less the previous week!

enter websites that have saved my calorie counting life

the only one i have any experience with is sparkpeople. i found it, liked it and stuck with it. so i'm going to chat about it a bit, list a few others that seem to be similar, and then ask for your input. if you've had any experience with any of these or have one to add, please leave it in the comments so everyone can see it :)

first the rundown:

sparkpeople is free...which was important

it was easy...which was also important

and it has cool features that i'm STILL finding out about.

i've been using it off and on for a few years. here are my favorite things about it.

goals:

on sparkpeople you can set a goal for weight loss...or you can simply set some lifestyle goals. examples of lifestyle goals include "drinking 8 glasses of water a day" or "keep a journal" or "listen to a get-up-and-go song every morning"

you can also fill in the blank and create your own goals.

nutrition tracking:

every bite you put into your body can be tracked!

most restaurant nutritional info is available online, so you can enter it yourself

OR you can search entered info from other members--chances are that someone has tracked the same meal

any food you buy in the grocery is either listed or easily entered

and there are extras!

not only are there meters for fruit/veggie servings per day and glasses of water per day

but there are also ways to create food groupings of things your often pair together (my coffee with sugar and creamer, for example) so that you don't have to enter each one separately

and my very favorite part, which is an entirely new category...

recipes:

enter the ingredients, the number of servings, and save it in your recipes

you can choose to share with everyone else on sparkpeople if you wish

or just keep it for your handy info

i LOVE this

finally, there's fitness tracking:

you can plan to work in cardio however many times a week you want

strength training

etc

there are plenty of extra features--message boards, motivation tools, etc. i find that i don't really use them or the sparkspoints system, but you might find it helpful.

the only extra i do use? the iphone app.

:0)

here are a couple of other sites that seem to do similar things

fitday.com

nutrition data

calorie count

the daily plate

so

have you tried any similar tracking sites?

did you stick with it?

were you happy with the features?

what's YOUR recommendation?

Thursday's Ten: smiles

let's review, shall we?

in the last 5 months, anthony has lost 2 grandparents

i've lost my house

i wound up in the emergency room

and my car was hit and run while it was parked

in front of anthony's parents house after his grandma's graveside service.

it's likely totaled

(although i haven't had the official word yet, so there is still hope)

and yet

it's been a good year.

meghan and i were talking about this very thing on our way to florida

that we had sucky 2008s

and that year, she said

that we were going to heal in 2009

and our 2010s were going to be amazing

we kind of giggled as we talked about what all has happened this year

and then we fell silent

and i said

"you know what?

this year has been amazing.

i wouldn't trade any of these experiences

or the provision that God has just poured out on me

for anything

i think i'm going to get to the end of this year

look back,

laugh

and say

WOW, what a ride!"

so while i do have a moment or two of down time

and shed tears

and hurt for those who are hurting

and ache for the loss of my house...my car (maybe)

i can't shake the feeling

the knowledge

that God is raining down blessings on me

and so,

sometimes i have to find a reason to smile

in things that i would normally not notice

but i'll tell you something

i'm aware

now more than ever

that the little things sometimes aren't so little after all

so this week, my reasons to smile have included

1. the cashier at kroger literally opening a self-checkout like just for me

(and he closed it as soon as i'd paid)

2. a scarf that my friend laura bought for me last week just because

3. couponing trips that were just ridiculous

4. buying a set of (cheap) new sheets and putting them on the bed fresh out of the dryer

5. actually writing down the amount of money that i needed God to provide me with this week...and watching Him MULTIPLY it

(that one actually made me laugh. who was i to think i could limit Him anyway?!)

6. laura's response to #5 when i told her was "holla back Sugar Daddy!"

(that made me laugh harder)

7. worship on monday night

8. seeing that i have 3 tomatoes getting ready to pick (i haven't yet had one this summer and it's way.past.time)

9. watching the weight go down every time i step on the wiifit...that revelation was for REAL, y'all!

10. watching 30 rock last night with anthony and our good friends kyle and natasha (kyle is anthony's new roomie)

smiles. laughter. joy

a month or so ago, one of the leaders of our small group, chad, had a vision for me

he said he saw me playing the piano

with one hand

only hearing that one part

but playing it perfectly

and he said

that during this season of my life

i can only hear my part

that i know God is playing His

but i can't see it

or hear it

i'm just trusting that it's blending perfectly with mine

and he said

that i'm doing exactly what i'm supposed to do

playing my part

not in a fake way

but in all sincerity

i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be

and the song that results from this

is beautiful

and he said further

that the level of JOY in this season of my life

is absolutely astounding

yep.

pretty much describes life as i've come to know it

and i love it.

what's made you smile this week?

what's that? you wanted beach pictures?

ok, maybe not

but i'm sharing them anyway :)

first, the beach story

so, thursday my friend meghan called

and said

"i'm in serious need of some girl time

and to get out of nashville

and see some place beautiful.

so...if i pay for hotel and gas

would you please go with me to florida for a day?"

(i didn't have to think about it for long.

i checked with anthony since i felt bad leaving him right after his grandma's funeral

and he said "are you kidding??

as much as you love the beach

you HAVE to go")

so sunday afternoon

when i got back from encounter

i quickly switched dirty clothes for clean

hung out with anthony for a few moments

and eagerly awaited my ride

:0)

laura and meghan arrived at 4:45

we packed up the car

grabbed a few snacks

i kissed my boyfriend goodbye

and we piled in

on the way, laura and i shared with meghan about encounter

meghan shared her latest news

we laughed and joked

there were even a few tears

revelations came to light for all three of us

it was one of those drives that only happens

with a couple of your best girlfriends

we had a gorgeous moon to look at once the sun went down

eventually laura fell asleep in the back

as did her darling baby

and meghan and i made small

and big

talk in the front seats

we also had a few

"find the blue dot" moments

(the blue dot being the dot on my iphone's gps)

and when we arrived in destin

meghan and i were excited to see our hotel

right next to a...

whataburger!

we literally pulled into the drive-thru lane

and laura popped up from the backseat saying

"food?"

which made us laugh

a lot

(whataburgers are goooood, but i just got a picture of the drink)

since we got to the drive-thru at 12:29

we pretty much checked into the hotel

brushed our teeth

and collapsed into beds

we slept in a bit the next morning

i grabbed coffee, the girls got breakfast

then we started showering and getting ready

(well, meghan and i did)

and meghan at one point while we were sharing the mirror said

"you know why i'm doing all this, right?"

and i replied,

"of course! for pictures!"

at that point laura said

"OH!

i was wondering why the makeup and hair straightening..."

anyway, we left the hotel at 11:03

(thank goodness we opted for the late check-out...)

meghan knew her way well

and soon we arrived in seaside

what a FUN little place!

meghan and i enjoyed our temporarily straight hair

there were beautiful walkways and shops

and the taco bar

oh.my.gosh

yum

iz and i found a way to occupy ourselves while we waited for food

(the blocks they gave us to wait with

and the camera)

(take a look at these fish tacos and tell me they weren't worth the wait!)

that's enough with the narration.

i'll let the rest of the pictures speak for themselves.

just enjoy :)

(no oil here!)

(izzy feeds mommy)

(meghan reads while izzy sleeps)

(it doesn't even look real, does it? all these were taken with my iphone....)

(laura took this awesome pic of izzy and me)

(i got a little sunburned...but you can't really tell here)

(pretty sky on the return trip)

we got in a little before midnight

laura and izzy crashed on my couch

and i collapsed into bed

worth.every.moment

fitness friday: organics

my approach to a lot of things is that the natural way is better

(although the jury is still out on childbirth. we'll see how i feel about that when i'm in labor one of these days!)

food is my main soapbox on the natural, non-processed way though.

don't get me wrong. i'll eat (organic, all-beef or turkey) hot dogs with the kids on occasion. sometimes to save time i'll eat processed food, although i DO try to make it natural or organic to at least feel better about the processing :)

but as far as my fruits and vegetables, dairy products and meats...

unless i'm eating out or at someone else's house

it's at least 90% organic

(allowing a 10% margin for those rare occasions that i can't find an organic product that i need for a recipe)

here's a couple of reasons why:

for me, i look at it with a spiritual context. if my body is a temple, do i really want to be shoveling crap in it all day long? do i want to put pesticides, preservatives, and other MAN-made chemicals in my body when on the flip side i could pay a few extra dollars to eat food the way God made it?

when i first started buying organic fruits, vegetables and milk, i balked a bit at the price tag. then i gave myself the "my body is a temple and this temple is going to try it for a few weeks and see what happens" talk. and a few amazing things happened.

-- my energy level went up

-- my body just FELT better

-- food tasted better

-- and my grocery bill remained about the same as it had been

(because i began craving the GOOD food and stopped buying the processed and boxed food...and the price tag of those boxes and cans is actually higher in most cases than buying fresh and natural ingredients. oh, and trader joe's helped :)

for a long time i stuck with the fruits, veggies and milk

then i snuck cheese into the equation

and finally meat. meat was my hold-out because, well...it really IS expensive to get organic meat.

(thank you again, trader joe. it's not THAT expensive there)

sometimes i don't have time to get to trader joe's and will buy conventional meat at the grocery. honestly, that probably stops after i write this post. there are organic options at publix and kroger...or i can suck it up and eat something that doesn't require meat for the meal i'm buying for!

do i say all this to change your mind?

maybe

but with all sincerity, i think we all have to make our own decisions about this stuff

i just want everyone to make an informed decision

mostly, i just want to help you think.

i know some feel it's not worth the extra money

some think it's just plain stupid or unnecessary

some are on the fence

and some buy into the organics idea but haven't really gotten started

i would encourage you to do what i did if you're considering it at ALL

experiment.

set a goal (3 weeks, for example) and a specific food group (vegetables, fruits, or dairy are good places to start)

buy 75% organics in that category for 3 weeks

if you can't tell much of a difference in the way your body feels

make a decision based on that (likely to go back to conventional)

if you can't tell much of a difference in your wallet

make a decision based on that (likely to stick with it a little longer and perhaps introduce more organics into your regular shopping)

but if you CAN tell a huge difference

you probably have your answer one way or the other.

don't take my word for it though. check it out for yourself!

※ here's an interesting article on whether organics is "worth it". it's written from a non-biased perspective from what i can tell. (and i'm definitely biased!)

※ here's a good list to help you decide which fruits and vegetables should be bought in organic form, and which are probably not necessary to purchase organically

dirty dozen and clean fifteen

(you can download a printable version OR an iphone app from that link!)

(more in depth article and more user friendly article both about the dirty dozen)

※ another article about organics in general